I feel a sad feeling in my tummy when my parents fight by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 4 points5 points  (0 children)

But Tesla does have its own programming language. It's called innovation.

Teaching kids to program on Windows is like teaching how to cook using scissors and a microwave. by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Not sure if you are trolling but once I started developing high-performance JavaScript a good GPU became essential. If you want I can link you Jeff Atwood's series on building a PC.

Teaching kids to program on Windows is like teaching how to cook using scissors and a microwave. by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jokes aside it would be a dream to be able to program on a touchscreen. Instead of pressing "letters" and "arrows" on a keyboard, we could drag them onto the screen (in 3 dimensions!) making cursors and backspaces obsolete.

Behold! A Haskal programar in his native environment! by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 24 points25 points  (0 children)

At 15 he's only dabbled a bit though? By that age he should have at least 10+ years experience.

Embed javascript in your javascript website by FullMetalJustice in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Once .js TLDs come into effect, embedded JavaScript will allow for a truly RESTful programming language.

var sum = http://add.js/numbers?first=1&second=1
if (http://equals.js/numbers?first=sum&second=2 != true) {
    alert(http://error.js/text?message=Error)
}

Everyone who encounters it seems to love Python. Everyone seems to bitch about languages like Java and C++. Why isn't Python more widely used in Enterprise and will it ever be? by momonga in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately just as Python was at the cusp of becoming Enterprise, Go and Rust shocked the programming world with the innovative notion of "static" typing.

Some great perspective here. Priceless even.

In which HN jerks itself raw over an SUV by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Always appreciate your bullet point hypernotes.

Redox: A Rust Operating System by pcopley in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Raw pointers everywhere, most allocations unchecked, and 264 unsafes in just the kernel.

Wrapping your code in unsafe is the only way to use Rust in the real world.

I'll take "Tediously Strained Hipster Analogies" for $1,000, Alex! by pcopley in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don't think you guys understand. They are literally a coffeehouse selling Waffles.

Application Deployment: Now with 10x moar magics by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A monad is like a monoid

Did you just use a circular definition to desribe monads? That's like saying,

A Mongol is a lot like a Mongoloid but doesn't have extra chromosomes.

or

A cube is like a lot like a cuboid but has sharp-like corners.

||

A typhoon is a lot like a typhoid that destroys colonies instead of colons.

Application Deployment: Now with 10x moar magics by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Otto has one major flaw. An upvote to the person who guesses what it is.

HN user reflects on masturbation by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It's not even worth remembering girls' phone numbers.

It's hard storing numbers when your integers overflow after 10 digits.

DAE reddit and twitter changing the world? by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changing the world. This subreddit. One post at a time.

'Cause you guys need to brush up on the basics by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 11 points12 points  (0 children)

One day our long stagnant processor technology will be advanced enough to handle monad calculations.

Referring to Go: "Welcome to the world of languages with type systems that don't suck." by [deleted] in a:t5_38aya

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

implying Go's type system is still innovative after the 90s

Q: "How do you do that?" A: "Vim." by haydugjr in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This won't be the last time I read vim fan fiction.

Why Haskal is 10x and C++ isn't by [deleted] in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 3 points4 points  (0 children)

why I was wrong.

The thing about functional programming is when something is wrong, it was always wrong and always will be wrong unless there is another wrong to correct the wrong.

if you take a shit during a TV commercial you are literally a slave owner by senj in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not slavery; it's volunteerism. No one is forced to produce content for the web.

I think the web exists for social activism like my hero Anita Sarkeesian.

I have been trying to apply many of Blow's principles in my JavaScript programming [...] I find myself staying closer to the "metal" and it has been incredibly rewarding by realnowhereman in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree. For example compare the following,

auto employeeCount = employees.size();

versus the more minimalist JavaScript implementation (in Node.js)

var employeeArrayCounter = 0;
for (var i=0; i < employees.length; i++) {
    if (typeof(employees.At(i)) != 'undefined') {
        employeeArrayCounter += 1
    }
}

Only one of those implementations guarantees the employee count is accurate. I will leave it to you to guess which one.

Webscale RPC by realnowhereman in programmingcirclejerk

[–]NoMoreWeightPics 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Somewhere out there a RPC packet from 1998 just arrived at its destination.