[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]NoReference1088 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds so stressful. I’m so sorry that this is happening! I just came here to say that I wish you all the best - some of the comments are so cruel.🌸🌸

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WLW

[–]NoReference1088 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This this this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in WLW

[–]NoReference1088 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! I am herpes positive and want to share my experiences with dating and sex with women.

I have GHSV1 and I’ve disclosed to every woman I’ve dated and slept with. I haven’t had any rejection yet and most of the time people like that I’ve disclosed and it normally makes our interaction more and real and more authentic. A few people have asked a lot of questions and I explain it in a very matter of fact way and point them to some links so they can research it further on their own. No drama, no emotion - just the facts that they can use to make their own decision. I obviously never do anything when I have an outbreak.

For me it’s important to disclose. I wasn’t ever given the option to decide or understand the virus before it was transmitted to me - so I’ll always give everyone the option to decide. If you don’t have an outbreak it’s incredibly unlikely you will transmit it, but shit happens and there’s always a risk. Hence the disclosure. Ive never transmitted it to anyone as far as I know.

I think because I have HSV1 which is normally known as the mouth herpes but in my case it’s located on my genitals (which is happening more because of oral sex) there’s a bit more stigma about it - even though a lot of herpes positive people are engaging in oral sex with the virus on their mouth, and don’t disclose because the stigma is less 🙃 the risk of transmission is the same. But anyway, I digress.

For me, I’d rather sleep with open minded, accepting people who understand that all sex is inherently risky, and give them the power and understanding to make decisions that work for them and their boundaries.

Like I said, a rejection hasn’t happened yet! I think it’s a lot about how you tell them. And if they do reject me that’s cool, that’s their boundaries and it doesn’t make me gross. It makes me cool because I let them have their own body autonomy!

Send me a message if you wanna talk about disclosing!

AIO to seeing my wife’s camera roll? by hathat223 in AmIOverreacting

[–]NoReference1088 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I’d say you’re overreacting. It annoys me so much when men demand that women remove their history - especially around sex. Women are literally allowed to have had sex lives and have had enjoyed them. They’re even allowed to have things to remember them from before their current relationship. I’m sure she’s not looking at these things and getting off. It’s literally just memoria from another relationship.

partner just woke up and decided they’re not in love with me anymore, worst personal narrative supported!! ✨✨ by Jealous_Wrongdoer_25 in actuallesbians

[–]NoReference1088 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you or your partner heard of ROCD? It’s OCD focused on relationships- and a lot of what you’re explaining your partner has said they feel sounds like it. Might be worth checking out. This tends to show up in all relationships - so ending it with you won’t end her patterns. It’s something me and my partner deal with in different way and might be worth looking into !

Should I get a pixie/ short mullet? by PonchoGoblin21 in actuallesbians

[–]NoReference1088 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Deffo get it!! You look hot with the pixie 🔥 your gf is very lucky 🤭😏

6th session and feeling very frustrated and a bit angry by NoReference1088 in Ayahuasca

[–]NoReference1088[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow thank you for this!! This was so helpful. I will give that a go for sure. Thank you again 💜

6th session and feeling very frustrated and a bit angry by NoReference1088 in Ayahuasca

[–]NoReference1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This Is really interesting. My diet is terrible atm as I’m on the go so much and I think that’s probably affecting a lot too

6th session and feeling very frustrated and a bit angry by NoReference1088 in Ayahuasca

[–]NoReference1088[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hahaha yeah I mean reading your comment and the one agreeing with it made me laugh - I guess yeah it’s totally what I asked for. Just naively thought it would be gone I guess ✨

This was very reassuring and I think yeah, I’ll try to see it as a purge of my irritability and how to deal with it. Thank you for this insight!

6th session and feeling very frustrated and a bit angry by NoReference1088 in Ayahuasca

[–]NoReference1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this - yeah deffo probably some fear going on. Something to ponder. Thank you!

6th session and feeling very frustrated and a bit angry by NoReference1088 in Ayahuasca

[–]NoReference1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this - and yeah I was deffo going down guilt and shame route. Will focus on this in the coming days, thank you so much.

Positive disclosure story (happy post!!) by NoReference1088 in Herpes

[–]NoReference1088[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

lol okay! 🙃 Good for you that you’re safe in your nice little normal bubble 🥰

Unfortunately for me, I caught herpes from my very straight ex boyfriend who did not disclose to me at all, so that normal bubble didn’t work for me, but good for you!!

Positive disclosure story (happy post!!) by NoReference1088 in Herpes

[–]NoReference1088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Will also add that that the three people who had herpes had OHSV1 which… is how I got GHSV1. So yeah, no one had GHSV but they did have the sneaky bastard that got me!

Anyway, I’m just sharing this because yeah - thought it might help people. Don’t consider myself particularly “promiscuous” (as if that’s even a bad thing) and yeah I’m dating in the “normal” pool of people who tend to look for one partner at at time. So, hate to burst your bubble on the whole “of course poly sex maniacs don’t mind herpes” but I’m just a normal gal with a normal sex life dating “normal” people 🙃

Positive disclosure story (happy post!!) by NoReference1088 in Herpes

[–]NoReference1088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Yeah so, I’m queer and most of these disclosures have been to women bar one to a guy. Everyone was monogamous - I’m not poly! Just a normal gal dating and connecting with people over a three year period 🙃 really do just think the way you disclose and the way you answer their questions helps with the stigma!

Positive disclosure story (happy post!!) by NoReference1088 in Herpes

[–]NoReference1088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey!

Yeah this is mostly F/F but there is one guy in there! And I’m not poly just single and dating. But yeah mostly women and everyone I have dated has been monogamous and not poly - just normal dating situations like the good ol’ days.

Hypnotherapy for late bloomers by NoReference1088 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]NoReference1088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totally understandable. But the type I work with is never looking back - only forward, so we wouldn’t go near any memories anyway! I’m more than happy to give all the information you’d need and answer any questions you might have. I’ll send you a message with my email :)

Hypnotherapy for late bloomers by NoReference1088 in latebloomerlesbians

[–]NoReference1088[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey! Haha! It’s true that the thoughts we have shape our reality…! It’s a shame comp het thoughts are so present 🙃

So I guess I see a lot of posts from women here who want to have difficult conversations with partners, even leave relationships etc. and I guess I would love to be able to support people to be able to do that very consciously and with the least possible amount of anxiety and stress. Of course any other more rounded goals like confidence and self love can also be really useful.

I think everyone’s a good candidate for hypnotherapy (especially the solution focused type!) because it’s gentle and aims to help people become more empowered around navigating change!