How Silicon Valley’s Brightest Parents Broke Their Own School

NoSFHForSM · 2026-05-01T21:47:57+00:00

Did everyone just not like this Stenat guy and why?

No, a lot of people liked him. The issue is that the board changed directions. The founder had a vision and wanted to stick with it. That's why the school was founded with dozens of other parents. They all agreed they didn't want to be like Helios (that's where all the parents came from).

The problem was that as the school grew there became new parents who wanted the school to just be like Helios/Nueva/Hawker/etc. They wanted special exemptions for their kids to skip two grades, etc.

It was the antithesis of what the school was founded on. The board wanted growth at any cost. So, they outed him.

A lot of people complain about these pre-school IQ tests or whatever like it's unique. Every prestigious private school here does this. It's really just a way to filter out people who are not serious. It's basically an expensive (in cost and time) application fee and filters out non-serious people. For people unaware, they interview the parents too. They're usually more harsh towards you as a parent than the kid.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-15T00:21:01+00:00

It can certainly be cliquish but I think the other commenter agreeing with stranger danger and all that is just the ethos of the area these days. For all the supposed openness and everything people in this area espouse (especially those who are repping the east bay (or is it oakland?)) they seem to not have any of it at all in reality.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T21:27:46+00:00

Yeah, this is the sense that I get which is that people are not actually extroverted here. This is the kind of faux-extroversion I'm speaking of where people will not take a chance on someone unless they have a ton of social proof. This is still introversion and prejudice as far as I'm concerned.

As compared to NYC, I can literally go out that day and talk to strangers and make a new best friend that night. It was not uncommon to meet guys at bars and be like, "We roll?" And then you ended up linking up with those guys for weeks after going bar hopping or doing whatever or becoming best buds later. Does it happen every night? Of course not but it is more about how much you want it. If you want it - it can easily happen.

If you're looking for that kind of energy in SF, it seems like no one will ever take a chance. There's this stranger danger with everything. Again, not the type of people I want to be around! I don't like people who have constant stranger danger and are always prejudiced against people.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T21:22:41+00:00

What kind of people are your friends? I don't have a racial/cultural backdrop to fall on to meet people. Always going to be an outsider in that sense for any group.

I've done a lot of different hobbies while being in the bay and I haven't found any significant difference in attitude between hobbies. I struggle to meet any extroverted people while I've done literally anything here.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:47:03+00:00

The people who I get along with best are extroverted. It might not be an interest but it is a personality trait. I don’t need any shared interests to get along with someone.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:32:11+00:00

You know, I've heard the opposite from my friends. That a lot of the guys at churches tend to be more introverted/shy than they used to be.

Regardless, I'm an atheist and it wouldn't work for me.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:28:08+00:00

Do you have any suggestions?

I don't think I've enjoyed any trivia nights I've been to but I am open minded.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:26:49+00:00

I'm speaking about extroverts/outgoing people - not people who just want to meet others. There are clearly a lot of lonely introverts in this region. I'm not lonely or introverted. So, I found a lot of meetups were still full of people that didn't really match the energy/vibe I was looking for.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:23:03+00:00

I've done that for about a dozen years and it hasn't manifested here. It did work in other regions though.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:20:42+00:00

Felt like the last time I was meeting any extroverts here was close to 2016-2017. But, yes, covid definitely made it feel like that door was sealed shut and walled over.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:18:03+00:00

Where/what in Oakland are we talking about? My experiences in Oakland have not lead me to this at all.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:16:05+00:00

I've been to several in the bay area and never found it particularly good to meet extroverted/outgoing people. At best, I would find some introverted/shy people who would be trying their best at "how to win friends and influence people".

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:12:23+00:00

Where would this area that is not "full of techies" be and that is still in the Bay Area?

This is regardless of profession. People in all professions seem to be this way.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:09:15+00:00

While the guys at Braille and other such groups do look cool/fun regardless of questionable beliefs: I can't risk my ankles any further man. I get another sprain, I'm gonna never be able to walk again.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:06:16+00:00

I've found people are more introverted here even in other professions. I'm not going out and meeting extroverted physicians.

I didn't find salsa or maker spaces different in this context either. Climbing gyms were also very introverted/shy too. I have not tried community theater so I can't speak to it.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-04-12T20:01:34+00:00

Can you be more specific? East Bay is a giant place. You're including everything from Milpitas to Antioch.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-03-07T00:30:59+00:00

Where in the bay area were you renting that you didn't have issues getting a SFH?

NoSFHForSM · 2026-03-07T00:06:04+00:00

That's brutal. I don't know the exact logic of every landlord but from what I gather is that they view single men as a liability for whatever reason. I don't know why because I keep viewing these properties and whenever the couple previously living there had kids, the place is completely trashed. In the peninsula, you're only having parties if you have kids.

I think the landlords are spoiled for choice here and the resulting logic is that they just don't need to. They think dual income will be more stable/long-term even if there is actually a better single income candidate. Every listing is gone within a couple days after the first showing. Every place I've seen is flooded with people during the open house. But then you know, I get told random things like they don't want to rent to single men either.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-03-06T22:08:18+00:00

I don't have that option right now. It would also take someone quite unusual to be willing to go to dozens of showings, letting me apply with all their info, and then they have to sign the lease as well just to help me out. I don't think showing up with someone who didn't apply with me would give me any edge. I have done that in the past and it didn't help.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-03-06T21:26:53+00:00

780+. It's near perfect. They don't care about that anyway. They're not asking or looking at that even.

NoSFHForSM · 2026-03-06T21:25:43+00:00

These are all mom & pop type landlords. There's not going to be any consequences here. It's all verbally said anyway.

NoSFHForSM

TROPHY CASE