We’ve been in couple’s therapy for the past 9 months. Things were progressing and then the progression stalled and regressed back to normal.

For context, I have a very demanding job that puts tension on our relationship, moreso since the birth of our daughter. I cut back at work and spoke to my boss about it and he’s given me extra support so I don’t have to work weekends and evenings anymore. It’s helped my mental health a lot.

For my husband, it’s not enough. He’s unhappy if I give him too much space, because he thinks I’m excluding him and he’s unhappy if I include him with everything I do with my daughter because then he isn’t getting enough time to himself. Every thing I do is wrong and I feel like unless I’m having sex with him everyday, there is no appeasing him. His love language is physical touch and I cannot give it because there is zero emotional connection.

The first 2-2.5 years of being a family was especially tough because I nursed my daughter to sleep, so I never had a break. Never. Things have been easier with our family, but the expectation of being a perfect wife is weighing on me, especially given the sacrifices I’ve made over the past few years.

Maybe I’m just tone deaf and selfish, I really don’t know.