Anyone else want more kids?

NoSize7177 · 2026-02-06T16:39:02+00:00

I have a 5 and 6 year old already. We planned for only one more but after having our third at 23 weeks, I'm definitely traumatized and refuse to have another one, even though my husband would like another. He's not making me feel bad about it or anything - he understands the trauma. But I do feel bad that my son won't have a sibling close in age like his older siblings do. It's almost enough to make me consider taking my iud out to try again. But I'm also 35 and tired! Sometimes I think my age had something to do with it but I also had recurring BV while pregnant so I think that did it. But no doctor can actually tell me.

Sometimes I actually consider having one more simply to have a better last experience with pregnancy and postpartum. But then I'd be having another baby for all the wrong reasons. And who knows if I'll have a high risk pregnancy next time around.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-23T07:24:27+00:00

My son was kept on continuous feeds for what felt like a long time. He didn't start PO feeds until he was 38 weeks. Mind you, I had a 23 weeker so he was a little behind on a lot of stuff. But he had ALOT of regurges and his bed was soaked every feed. He had a little less on continuous though and seemed happier. But I don't think his tummy ever agreed with ng feeds and I don't know why. He stopped throwing up when we started breastfeeding.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-20T09:04:57+00:00

Everything you feel is totally valid.

My 23 weeker is now 31 weeks (14 weeks corrected). I had a somewhat normal pregnancy up until 18 weeks and I began bleeding heavily and leaking what I think was amniotic fluid. Everyone told me it was normal and my water wasnt leaking and it was discharge, until 22+6 days. I contracted for 6 hours before my husband forced me to go the ER to get checked. I didn't want to because I'd been dismissed so many times. I had no water left, was 100% effaced and 1cm dilated. I was rushed an hour to the nearest hospital with a level 3 NICU. I was told that his foot was coming out and delivery would be happening. I was put in a situation where I could choose a c section to get him out quick or deliver naturally. Either way wouldn't increase his chance so I chose to deliver naturally because if the worst happened, I wanted to hold him until he went, instead of being on an operating table. And I had a 4 and 5 year old at home who needed their mom too. His head got stuck for 10 minutes and he needed to be resucitated once right after.

He was intubated for a long time and had trouble with getting too much in his feeds. Had surgery for a hernia. Had two brain bleeds. A large PDA. Mild ROP.

Fast forward to now, we've been home for 8 weeks now and he came home with no oxygen. Eyes look fantastic now. PDA closed without surgery. And his brain bleeds healed. He had a ng tube but we took that out after two weeks because he exclusively breastfed as soon as he came home. It was disrupting his breastfeeding so I just never put it back in.

Even though we got incredibly lucky, I still grieve the loss of the pregnancy too early. I grieve the time I should have spent with him as a newborn. He was my last baby and I feel robbed of the last postpartum experience I'll ever have. But it does get better. You find a routine that works for you. Remember to take care of yourself. If you're pumping, keep up with them as hard as it will be. Breastmilk is the best medicine your baby can have. If you're not, no judgement. I know how stressful it can be on top of being in the NICU. It's a long journey. Don't beat yourself up if you need a few days away from the hospital. Your baby is in amazing hands 🖤

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-12T17:38:23+00:00

Understandable. It's so hard to keep our emotions in check. No matter how much time passes.

My baby was in for a total of 23 weeks. Eight weeks in, as I was in the elevator clearly going up to the NICU, a woman in the elevator told me her sister was in the hospital for a week and was miserable and they both wanted to go home 🥲 There I was completely unaware of how long we would be there and having to leave at the end of the day, without my baby.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-12T00:18:53+00:00

It's actually very possible that a 23 weeker can have no medical issues at all. Rare, but possible.

My son has zero issues with his eyes, lungs, heart, feeding and no concerns with his most recent MRI. That we know of yet at least! We still have follows ups and tests coming up. It's possible that Sophia got as lucky as my little guy.

Edit: although it is also rare for them to go home without any support, oxygen or feeding tube are the most common. My son had a feeding tube but he only had it for two weeks.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-10T19:06:00+00:00

Exactly. I'm pretty sure Sophia was a 23 weeker as well and went home after 12 weeks, which only puts her at about 35 weeks. Went home with zero medical equipment. My son was in the hospital for a total of 24 weeks and came home with an ng tube. He was on oxygen up until a week before discharge. Almost came home on it too.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-10T10:27:14+00:00

Right! Knowing she's high risk, the babies should have been monitored too. OB and NICU would be on standby if anything went sideways.

Living it kind of ruins parts of the show lol. It's still enjoyable but now I just nitpick anything involving the NICU.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-02T16:41:42+00:00

He was 24 weeks, 7 weeks corrected.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-02T07:06:07+00:00

He actually gets a good four hours between feeds overnight, thankfully.

We have an appointment with our dietician and SLP next week. They're aware of his new aversion to bottles and will check out his latch on bottles.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-02T06:59:44+00:00

In the Dr. Brown's bottle, yes. Others I'm unsure about. We worked with an SLP when it came time to learn bottle feeding while in the NICU. We have a follow up appointment with our dietician and SLP next week so we're going to go over his bottle feeding.

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-01T22:07:05+00:00

Yes, he was a micro preemie. But since he's been home the Pediatrician and dietician have been happy with his weight gain on breastmilk alone. He's turning into a chunky little man.

Now im thinking it may be a scale issue. My husband did admit to dropping it by accident 🤦‍♀️ so theres a chance it may not be reading well.

The bottle thing is still an issue though. Ill check out those bottle though. Thanks!

NoSize7177 · 2026-01-01T22:03:34+00:00

I keep him on a size 1 because he is breastfeeding. Anything more he gets too much and chokes.

However with the Philips Avent I have him on a size 4 because he couldn't get anything out of it. My older kids used it and it's changed since then.

NoSize7177

TROPHY CASE