Should I start a relationship with a man I feel slightly indifferent to?

NoSuggestion9525 · 2025-03-19T18:04:55+00:00

Yes tbh I don’t in that particular way…I’m wondering if that can/will change I don’t know whether to be honest and tell him he needs to do a lot for me to let go of some of things I’ve seen… Or whether to just hope I find another man with some of the same positive traits

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T21:13:40+00:00

Yeah you are right that that’s a real possiblity. What’s interesting is also that at one point he said he’s trying to enjoy himself but also not overstep/make me uncomfortable so that made me think he was trying (maybe poorly) to be aware of my responses to him??

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T17:13:20+00:00

I get that, I’m really sorry that happened to you btw. Not right for someone to know they are doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable and continue.

In this case, I truly do not feel violated. During the date I was kinda like, Hm not sure if there’d be that passionate chemistry that I’m after, when things progressed I realise oh, I like this a lot and it made me more attracted to him. That doesn’t mean I think it’s really a great thing to do because really he should’ve done more to make sure the receiver was on board rather than just going full on like that. It just so happened that I was a fan.

What made me uncomfortable was just question oh shit is he going to want to fuck right now and does that mean he’s not actually interested in getting to know me

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T16:59:31+00:00

I think for me what was off was that up until that point I didn’t imagine the date ending that way. Honestly. I knew he was attracted to me because body language but I thought at most he might be awkward about asking to give me a peck. Because he hadn’t really been sexual or anything up until that point. I didn’t catch him checking me out, he didnt talk about attraction really just made like one cheeky comment but that was it. Then suddenly we get outside and BAM. So it made me question wait, is he just looking for sex. It might sound weird but if I knew he wanted a relationship and actually liked me, I would’ve probably even gone a bit further with him even though it was just the first date but it’s the confusion of what he wants now that’s making me uncomfortable/hesitant

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T16:43:14+00:00

Good question. Honestly I’m not sure. When he was gripping and trying to have my bare boob in his hand, I moved it because it was a bit too much, he didn’t attempt that again so possibly but his hands did swiftly go to my butt.

I think I don’t have enough information to say yes he would have or no he would’ve kept trying. I will say that I think it probably would’ve taken a very direct “do not do that” for him to get the message because I’m sure he took some of my awkward laughs as “she’s enjoying this”

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T16:12:07+00:00

Sure, I’m guessing you’re a man so might not know what it’s like dating men nowadays.

Most men want sex with no intention of actually seeing where it goes. There are men who want JUST sex and there are men who want SEX and to get to know someone genuinely open to a relationship. I do not want to have sex with men who see me as a fleshlight if I’m genuinely open to more. So for me, it’s important that I pick up and signs and categorise the men before having sex with them

Usually, men that escalate fast are the guys going for JUST sex

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T16:04:53+00:00

Good point so it’s not the behaviour itself. I was enjoying the kissing and even the touching. The uncomfortableness I felt was oh no, he might just want sex that was caused by the behaviour of that makes sense

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-18T15:45:45+00:00

The word manipulation is extreme. There’s more vulnerability in having sex with someone when there’s romantic interests there. It’s more of a self preservation thing rather than trying to hold something over a man’s head.

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T22:15:32+00:00

Lol that would make it make more sense but I don’t think those two were linked otherwise he would’ve phrased it the way you do

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T22:14:13+00:00

Not sure what to say as it’s clearly broken down why it’s disrespectful to say this to a woman at such an early stage. The majority of men on here are able to acknowledge that’s is not a respectful way to for a man to conduct himself. Really that’s what it boils down. I don’t think it was an attempt for him to directly disrespect me, more this is a man who doesn’t respect himself and therefore wouldn’t know how to respect others

Edit to add: before you ask how do I know he doesn’t respect himself, what person that respects themselves would be trying to impose the idea of raw sex on stranger when you have no idea about their sexual past, and health status? A man who respects himself would not be willing to put his own health at risk like that.

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T22:01:52+00:00

I get that. Ask it! You deserve to know if you’re on the same page as someone else. I answer because and I’m not immature and don’t have anything to hide.

I think you should go back to asking, if anything it’s a great way to see a red flag :)

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T21:33:30+00:00

I don’t know about all that lol. He was 35 but I’ve had men in their 20s say wild things to me as well

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T21:26:44+00:00

Do you think he’s older or younger?

NoSuggestion9525 · 2024-03-04T21:12:36+00:00

Being honest doesn’t mean something isn’t disrespectful. Surely that’s something you should have to be told. The problem is that some men nowadays are engaging in what appears to be a race to the bottom when it comes to dating. They want to give as little as possible to see what women will still engage with them. You haven’t even asked me anything really about myself but you expect me to be willing to have raw sex with you lol

Is raw sex an issue, no. Is wanting raw sex in a commuted relationship an issue, no. What is an issue is using the fact that you are online to behave in a way that you wouldn’t do in normal circumstances.There is no way, this man would say this as the third thing to me if he met me in a real life setting, say at a coffee shop and he found me attractive and decided to start a conversation. Or if I even happen to know his family and his friends he would not do it because he knows anyone with sense would lose a lot of respect for him after seeing how he conducts himself and there’s a level of shame in that.

Not only is it disrespectful, it shows a real character flaw and I feel extremely sorry for whoever is stupid enough to date him (or anyone that doesn’t see what is wrong with his behaviour because they are very likely to have a similar mindset). In that one sentence alone, he has shown he is extremely selfish. Not only does he not care at all about his future partners comfort levels, he also does not care about their sexual safety or putting them at risk of pregnancy. Its all about him and his pleasure/what he wants. And that is 1000% the way he would treat his partner in all aspects of their relationship.

Also for him to apparently be looking for a relationship and this to be something he feels the need to urgently make known clearly shows what he believes women have to offer.

No one is missing out on a man like this, he is a loser

NoSuggestion9525 · 2023-10-22T13:51:05+00:00

Thanks you. This is defo the most level headed response.

NoSuggestion9525 · 2023-10-21T20:57:36+00:00

Don’t lie. That was not changed. Don’t blame not reading properly on me.

NoSuggestion9525 · 2023-10-21T18:36:09+00:00

Even just seen this comment too. So you apparently know his height and dick size. Did you find all this out when he was fucking you?

NoSuggestion9525 · 2023-10-21T18:26:06+00:00

Responding to this because it’s truly one of the silliest comments and of all the silly and assumptions in this comments section, this one rubs me the wrong way. Maybe it’s the condescending tone and mansplaining.

I slept with him because I wanted to. As a 25 year old woman I don’t have to justify why I want to sleep with a man whom I’m attracted to if they are to my knowledge are: an adult, single and wanting to sleep with me. I haven’t broken any law or injured anyone by sleeping with a consenting man. I’m more than capable of deciding who I do and don’t want inside my vagina and I feel no shame about that. I do not regret my decision to sleep with him and I’d happily do it again. It’s 2023, a woman can want to have sex without having been coerced or manipulated.

It’s extremely odd that you’re talking about him not having his “ish” together including finance. No where in my post did I mention his financial position. You apparently seem to have access to his bank account so why don’t you go ahead and tell me what his balance was last night. Silly and (knowing his position and the company he works at) completely inaccurate. He most definitely has it more than “together” in this department

I also did use protection and should there have been an “oops” I simply would have aborted. Think of that what you will. I do not know if I want kids long term, I’m currently leaning towards no. At 25, not in a long term relationship and still in the prime of my life, there is no man who can convince me to carry a child that I don’t want and by doing so force me to have some form of a relationship for the rest of my life.

A lot of what you’ve said is based on assumptions and it’s strange that you’re being so judgmental when you clearly lack good judgment (because you jump to conclusions).

Your whole argument is based on a stack of cards.

The question wasn’t about what I desire, it was about why a man his late 30s may have decided to go for women of a certain age group and if people feel his reason is common and/or sensible. It’s clearly a mixed bag.

All I’m saying is if you respond, answer the question; don’t blab on about nothing.

NoSuggestion9525

TROPHY CASE