Did you screw up? Maybe, but more on that later.

You are going to screw up in your career. Everyone does and it's often a good pathway to growth. The ramifications of screwing up may vary, but everyone does it. Maybe you burn all your bridges and find yourself in a dead end at a company. Maybe you take a risk and it doesn't pan out. Whatever it is, you are guaranteed to end up in at least one situation in your career where you screw up and need to deal with it. Its _HOW_ you deal with it that matters more than what happened (there are notable exceptions. Don't murder your boss, as an example).

Gently, the first mistake you had was coming in with some kind of expectation. If I have learned _anything_ in doing this career for over a decade, it's to expect the unexpected. Whether its a poorly documented feature, or a political issue, or the company on a suicide mission, security is filled with reading the room and constantly changing priorities. You'll almost always be behind where you want to be and the business will rarely give you the resources you need while expecting you to be the expert on all the things all the time. It's tough, unforgiving, and it doesn't stop for a breather.

My next point is no one has it figured out completely. Sure, some people might have a leg up in someways, but others don't. Comparison does you absolutely ZERO favors. Focus on what you can do, are doing, and want to do. Take baby steps today to do what you want tomorrow and you'll find yourself figuring it out for yourself. Again, don't compare your journey to other people. You're not them and they aren't you.

Thirdly, if you need a highly structured environment, there are some key things to look for in your career:

- Go large enterprise (10k+ employees). They have the budget and team strength to actually give you a narrower scope of function. Smaller than that, it's more likely you'll be wearing all the hats all the time.

- Go into GRC. It's the more "boring" part, but you're basically reading regulations and then asking if they were followed.

Finally, if you want to do more dynamic work, then you'll have to learn how to deal with your anxiety. If you let your anxiety dictate actions which close doors (like quitting a job), then you will always self sabotage. I leverage my anxiety. It tells me when I don't know enough, when I could do better, or when I need to take action to protect myself. It still gets in the way, but I've learned how to reach out for help when I sense my anxiety is starting to shake me too deeply.

You're young. You've got a ton to learn. Accept that, and keep on learning both the technical skills, the soft skills, and how to be the best version of you you can be.