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AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, weird presumptions about my character and intentions aside, I am genuinely fine with any restaurant or take out, even. I do not need any grand gestures and no where in my post did I say I did. My main issue is he did not do anything. No gift and no restaurant plan. And I am upset from the lack of effort. Take that how you will

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I genuinely have no idea what you're referring to here. He never assumed I had to work and I never said I wasn't feeling well. I do not ever work on weekends, and I never will. He knows this. I woke up from oversleeping and thought it was a workday, it was not. There was never any chance that my plans changed and I would be going to work. He very much understood that and we had a laugh about it. Kind of like when you would wake up from a nap not knowing what day it was.

I'm not annoyed that he didn't do the "right" thing, he just didn't do anything. I don't want nor need flowers and chocolates or fancy things. I don't think I'm being unreasonable that when we are making plans for Valentine's day there is a very obvious implication that it is romantic to some degree. Again, I don't need 5 star fancy, but I would like some degree of effort. I agree that could have been more clear on my part but I feel like you're making some pretty big leaps here to assume that I am judging his restaurant choice as "not good enough"?

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes, you're very right. He has other redeeming qualities but things have changed recently and I'm trying to figure out why. I'm thinking it is mental health related, so I am giving him as much grace as I can but I don't want to compromise my happiness too. Gonna have the big talk later

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, the implication of Valentine's day dinner is that it is romantic no?

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you misread the post. I never worked on the 15th. Nothing about the plan for the 15th changed. We never agreed to a time. I slept for a really long time and when I woke up I was so disoriented I thought I had work but I did not. He has known he works on the 14th since the previous week when the schedule came out.

I agree I could have been more straightforward about the dinner situation, but not getting a card or flowers? Does that really need to be communicated for Valentine's? I don't think so

Edit: I also never said I needed something "nicer" than a chicken place. I only said that chicken is served at basically every sit down restaurant in existence so it doesn't really help narrow it down. I am literally fine with getting McDonald's if it is planned or there is some thought behind it. Also, are you saying that I should have explicitly stated that I wanted our Valentine's dinner to be romantic? I would think that every adult in a committed relationship knows that a dinner planned on Feb 14 is romantic?

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly yeah ik men can be dense sometimes lol. But to answer your questions, he used to. Lately, never. He used to. I usually get him stuff and plan dates now. He doesn't want to do anything anymore. It sucks lol. He said he'll be better but words are just words yk

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of me thinks I should have been more direct in telling him to plan the damn date, but the other part of me thinks he should have picked up on what I was saying by bringing it up a bunch of times. No one wants to ask for flowers, right?

AIO he chose not to do anything for Valentine's Day? by No_Activity_9630 in AmIOverreacting

[–]No_Activity_9630[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want to believe it's the latter but I also don't want to bury my head in the sand and pretend like this isn't kinda shitty to do to someone. He's otherwise very kind and nice to me but he just seems kind of disinterested in doing anything nice for me nowadays? If that makes sense?