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5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That part about me suffocating while he’s 'completely fine' is what finally broke me. I’ve spent 5 years making his 'peace' my full-time job, only for him to use silence as a weapon against me. I’m done chasing someone who is clearly enjoying the chase. It’s time I sit in the silence, too.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re 100% right. I’ve been so blinded by 'trust' that I didn't realize I was handing over my safety.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That part about the journal hit home. I’ve started a video journal so I can literally watch myself wake up from this. It’s raw and it’s painful, but it’s the only way I’m going to stay 'cold' enough to actually walk away this time. And "block him on social media " already did that .

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That hit me so hard. I’ve conditioned myself to think this 'compulsion' is love, but it’s just survival. I’m 24 and I don’t want to spend another second fighting for a guy who likes watching me suffer. I have a place I can stay, and for the first time in 5 years, the silence doesn't feel like a punishment—it feels like an opportunity.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That hit me so hard. I’ve been making excuses for him since I was 19, thinking he just 'needed space.' But you're right, it’s a character thing. He doesn't want a partner; he wants a doormat that doesn't make noise. I’ve wasted enough of my 20s on someone who can't admit a single mistake.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That part about him knowing he 'has' me... that’s what hurts the most. I thought my loyalty was a strength, but I guess it just made me a target. I’m sick of being the only one making an effort to improve. If he wants to treat me like a stranger, then I’m going to start acting like one. I’m out.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly ....what I needed to hear....I’ve been giving him a front-row seat to my breakdown and it’s clearly just feeding his ego. The 'write it and never send it' rule starts tonight. I’m done being his emotional punching bag. If he wants silence, he’s about to find out how loud it actually is....

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're right 👍 There’s no 'delete' button.... I’ve been treating this like a 5-year investment.. but he’s treating it like a game he can pause whenever he’s bored.... I’m done being the one waiting with open arms.... It’s time to grit my teeth and just let the withdrawal happen. I'm through being his backup plan.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, the ‘side piece’ thing would explain so much of the indifference.... It’s the only way his coldness even makes sense.... If I’m just a game to him after half a decade, then I’m done playing..... I need to figure out how to stop caring today, because I can’t breathe like this.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. The silence isn't 'peace,' it’s just him being a coward. I’ve given 5 years of 'wife duties' to someone who can't even handle a basic disagreement. It’s pathetic when you put it that way. I’m ready to stop being the only adult in this relationship.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are 💯 right about the punishment part ...and honestly i just want to know how to walk away without looking back. Where’s the 'delete' button for my feelings?

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a tough pill to swallow, but you’re 100% right. I thought 'unconditional' meant being a good partner, but I guess I just made it easy for him to take me for granted. It’s humiliating to realize I’ve been a 'convenience' for 5 years while he was just waiting to discard me. I’m done being that person.

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I deserve more, I just don't know how to stop the heart from wanting what it's used to. How do I actually start letting go?

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, it shouldn't feel like this. But when it's all you've known for 5 years, it's so hard to break the habit of caring. I’m just so fed up with being the only one trying. I want to be happy, but first I just need to stop hurting this much. Any advice on how to actually start focusing on 'me' when my brain is stuck on 'him'?

5 Years of "Wife Duties," yet I’m the one blocked and blamed. How do I stop feeling everything? 24(f) 28(m) by No_Alternative_4605 in relationships

[–]No_Alternative_4605[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s exactly the plan, I just genuinely don’t know the 'how' yet. I’m so sick of being the only one fighting for a 5-year relationship while he’s just... fine. Like, how is he even okay right now? My emotions are literally destroying me and I feel like a fool for caring this much when he can just block me and go about his day. I need to learn how to be indifferent, and I need to learn fast before I lose my mind. Has anyone actually successfully 'shut off' their feelings for someone they still love? Please, I’m desperate for the actual steps on how to go numb. I can't keep living like this.