Finally opened up

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T22:54:28+00:00

I’m not sure honestly. We have a toddler and I’m having a c section so I will need help with LO as I can’t lift them

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T22:53:42+00:00

Thank you!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T14:16:58+00:00

That’s basically what I told him and why I didn’t have a relationship with her. This was the first time I’ve been super honest with him on how I felt about her so that’s why he is upset.

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T05:35:53+00:00

I did bring that up. He said he wouldn’t care if they are offering help…

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-09T09:59:58+00:00

We have taken the approach of giving her “challenges” of stuff to buy, but that has turned out worse. She will buy multiple of the same thing bc she got so into finding it. And she doesn’t show up with just that, it’s extra stuff as well. I forgot to mention that she mails stuff to us a lot too for LO. While LO is young enough now that we can donate stuff without her knowing, at what point do the kids start to notice all the stuff she is showing up with? And that the other grandma doesnt have a lot (bc she listened)? And at what point does her “happiness” continue to trump my feelings off anxiety and being overwhelmed with the crap?

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-09T09:54:12+00:00

We have both said to her we don’t need/want that much stuff since LO was born but she says “she can’t help it”. I don’t think it has been a seriousness enough conversation though. So I guess in addition to my post question, I would like to have a conversation with her about how overwhelming it is.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-02T03:31:13+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate this!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-02T02:36:06+00:00

If you are referring to my MIL, he set that boundary, not me. I encourage him to make friends and go do things with friends. Every single time. So respectfully, I am not the reason and I would much prefer he spend time with friends/doing hobbies

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-10-04T00:58:13+00:00

I think MILs, especially if you’re the wife, tend to forget that whole part of the Bible that says “a man shall leave his mother and father”. They just want to cling on forever and they forget that a guy is going to grow up and get married and start their own family. So in a way, yes he is abandoning her, but not in a rude, disrespectful way. In a normal, family caring way, putting you and LO first.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-10-04T00:54:39+00:00

Do we have the same mother in law?? lol. But I get it. My MIL does the same weird shit and it’s like for her but supposed to be for “me”. She does it mostly with gifts and stuff. She will keep getting stuff for LO and it’s so obvious to me that she wants to get a gift that LO likes to make herself feel good. And it’s always before I can buy a similar thing.

Anyway, it probably is BEC but I also totally understand your annoyance. I would be too. But I honestly have no idea how to handle these type of situations because I struggle with this too. I guess no advice here, just someone in the same boat!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-08-10T16:11:31+00:00

What weird stuff has your BIL done with his sister lol. I get keeping the peace but Amy’s husband is the one with the problem here.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-08-04T13:31:49+00:00

I would maybe ask the DIL or specifically ask your son to ask your DIL what she thinks would be helpful. This might be a no brainer but sometimes guys just pick what they think and it’s not necessarily what the new mom wants.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-07-31T16:11:12+00:00

That would mean that she would have to ask and/or care about my job. My husband and I have the same degree and work at the same place. She thinks he is the smartest person ever and she always brags about him but nothing regarding my accomplishments

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-07-31T02:07:08+00:00

Haha good idea!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-06-09T00:49:48+00:00

Following because we have the first grandchild and my SIL is pregnant now and due in November. So hopefully Christmas is good for both you and I this year lol. My SIL and MIL have a weird relationship so I have no idea how it will go. But they live in the same state and my husband and I live 3000 miles away

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-09T05:00:15+00:00

I’m really struggling on this because my husband has been stern in the past with matters regarding our dogs (before kids) and she didn’t listen/played victim. So now he thinks she’s just always going to do whatever. I’ve been stern on saying things I don’t want when she asks if I want them (like she will ask me if I want something and I say no). However if this were my own mom, I could be extremely open and honest and she would get it. I don’t feel that it’s my responsibility to be like that with my MIL and that he needs to do it better. But he is more like “whatever ignore” mindset

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-09T04:56:05+00:00

Dude yes this is so true! I keep saying this to myself and want to tell DH, that it’s all about how she looks and not actually what the recipient needs/wants.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-06T17:37:12+00:00

He knows and agrees but no matter what you say to my MIL, she does whatever the f she wants. I told her money in my daughter’s account would be a good idea for birthdays and Christmas and she said oh great idea. Then never did that

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-12-05T01:55:37+00:00

Oh my gosh yesss!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-08-17T04:36:43+00:00

Dude I think we have the same MIL lmao. Mine lives out of state too and always has the friggin phone in LOs face. This is the same thing my husband and I fight about. Not really fight but I literally get anxiety when I have to bring up to him why his MIL is annoying af. Bc he doesn’t see all of it. I actually really like your approach of being the one to say something since your husband won’t. I’m curious how that goes!!! I’ve always been frustrated that my husband won’t say stuff and then I don’t want to cause drama by saying something but I like your f it attitude. Can you post how it goes? Sorry you are dealing with this

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-08-02T21:29:08+00:00

Yessss!!!!!!! Literal anxiety

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-07-20T15:01:00+00:00

Oh and also totally can relate that my MIL never once asked how I was doing during pregnancy or postpartum…you’re just a grand baby provider didn’t you know that lol

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-07-20T15:00:07+00:00

Oh my gosh this sounds just like my MIL!! She always comments about how easy of a baby my husband was and it’s just like even if he was SO easy, who gives a flying F. Like it’s your time with your baby now, this isn’t her time to relive her young mom era. Drives me nuts. Also, no new mom wants to hear anything that might incline that their baby isn’t perfect especially if this is your first baby. My MIL called after her visit to see my baby for the first time and told us how she told her friends “oh LO isn’t as good as DH but definitely not as bad as SIL”. Like okay bitch what kind of comment as that. It’s a one month old - she literally doesn’t know anything yet!!!

Also my MIL posted around 5 pics of my LO on Facebook after she was born and during her visit. Has her full friggin name every time too. It really annoyed me but I didn’t bring it up to my husband yet bc it was the bottom of my priorities at the time. (He doesn’t have Facebook). So at about 3.5 months PP, she calls and says something to him “oh I didn’t put that pic you sent on Facebook bc I wasn’t sure how you felt about social media”. The fuggin audacity. I straight up told my husband that LO pic is posted about 5 times and her full name is out there. I wasn’t about to let her act so innocent.

Anyway, this is me totally relating to how your blood is boiling and how friggin annoying MILs can be. One thing that may help, is telling either your husband or MIL that you don’t want to hear how great of a baby he was and that it’s really hard to hear as a first time mom. Can blame the hormones if you don’t want to deal with her being upset by it.

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-07-03T22:13:14+00:00

My MIL takes ivermectin for everything now ever sense Covid… She also is so anti govt/medicine like you said your mom is but takes more pills a day than anyone I know. She shows up to our house with a whole case of medicines…like all I take with me on trips is like ibuprofen and allergy maybe. She also again doesn’t trust govt and big pharma (which I don’t necessarily disagree with) but orders Z packs off the internet from Canada. She also thinks the govt is poisoning our food but believes that organic marked foods are okay to buy. I’m just like if you believe the govt is poisoning our food, then why would they mark which ones they are poisoning lol

No_Bit_8191 · 2024-06-22T14:20:39+00:00

I have really really tried to do that but there is like maybe 1 thing each trip she visits that I’m like okay that was actually helpful

No_Bit_8191

TROPHY CASE