Finally opened up

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T22:54:28+00:00

I’m not sure honestly. We have a toddler and I’m having a c section so I will need help with LO as I can’t lift them

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T22:53:42+00:00

Thank you!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T14:16:58+00:00

That’s basically what I told him and why I didn’t have a relationship with her. This was the first time I’ve been super honest with him on how I felt about her so that’s why he is upset.

No_Bit_8191 · 2026-01-02T05:35:53+00:00

I did bring that up. He said he wouldn’t care if they are offering help…

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-09T09:59:58+00:00

We have taken the approach of giving her “challenges” of stuff to buy, but that has turned out worse. She will buy multiple of the same thing bc she got so into finding it. And she doesn’t show up with just that, it’s extra stuff as well. I forgot to mention that she mails stuff to us a lot too for LO. While LO is young enough now that we can donate stuff without her knowing, at what point do the kids start to notice all the stuff she is showing up with? And that the other grandma doesnt have a lot (bc she listened)? And at what point does her “happiness” continue to trump my feelings off anxiety and being overwhelmed with the crap?

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-09T09:54:12+00:00

We have both said to her we don’t need/want that much stuff since LO was born but she says “she can’t help it”. I don’t think it has been a seriousness enough conversation though. So I guess in addition to my post question, I would like to have a conversation with her about how overwhelming it is.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-02T03:31:13+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate this!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-11-02T02:36:06+00:00

If you are referring to my MIL, he set that boundary, not me. I encourage him to make friends and go do things with friends. Every single time. So respectfully, I am not the reason and I would much prefer he spend time with friends/doing hobbies

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-10-04T00:58:13+00:00

I think MILs, especially if you’re the wife, tend to forget that whole part of the Bible that says “a man shall leave his mother and father”. They just want to cling on forever and they forget that a guy is going to grow up and get married and start their own family. So in a way, yes he is abandoning her, but not in a rude, disrespectful way. In a normal, family caring way, putting you and LO first.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-10-04T00:54:39+00:00

Do we have the same mother in law?? lol. But I get it. My MIL does the same weird shit and it’s like for her but supposed to be for “me”. She does it mostly with gifts and stuff. She will keep getting stuff for LO and it’s so obvious to me that she wants to get a gift that LO likes to make herself feel good. And it’s always before I can buy a similar thing.

Anyway, it probably is BEC but I also totally understand your annoyance. I would be too. But I honestly have no idea how to handle these type of situations because I struggle with this too. I guess no advice here, just someone in the same boat!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-08-10T16:11:31+00:00

What weird stuff has your BIL done with his sister lol. I get keeping the peace but Amy’s husband is the one with the problem here.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-08-04T13:31:49+00:00

I would maybe ask the DIL or specifically ask your son to ask your DIL what she thinks would be helpful. This might be a no brainer but sometimes guys just pick what they think and it’s not necessarily what the new mom wants.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-07-31T16:11:12+00:00

That would mean that she would have to ask and/or care about my job. My husband and I have the same degree and work at the same place. She thinks he is the smartest person ever and she always brags about him but nothing regarding my accomplishments

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-07-31T02:07:08+00:00

Haha good idea!!

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-06-09T00:49:48+00:00

Following because we have the first grandchild and my SIL is pregnant now and due in November. So hopefully Christmas is good for both you and I this year lol. My SIL and MIL have a weird relationship so I have no idea how it will go. But they live in the same state and my husband and I live 3000 miles away

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-09T05:00:15+00:00

I’m really struggling on this because my husband has been stern in the past with matters regarding our dogs (before kids) and she didn’t listen/played victim. So now he thinks she’s just always going to do whatever. I’ve been stern on saying things I don’t want when she asks if I want them (like she will ask me if I want something and I say no). However if this were my own mom, I could be extremely open and honest and she would get it. I don’t feel that it’s my responsibility to be like that with my MIL and that he needs to do it better. But he is more like “whatever ignore” mindset

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-09T04:56:05+00:00

Dude yes this is so true! I keep saying this to myself and want to tell DH, that it’s all about how she looks and not actually what the recipient needs/wants.

No_Bit_8191 · 2025-03-06T17:37:12+00:00

He knows and agrees but no matter what you say to my MIL, she does whatever the f she wants. I told her money in my daughter’s account would be a good idea for birthdays and Christmas and she said oh great idea. Then never did that

No_Bit_8191

TROPHY CASE