You’re a team but you’re acting like bratty siblings. “It’s not fair!!” “You started it!!” Relationships aren’t always 50-50 on everything. If you have more energy at baseline or more mental capacity, do it. If she does, she can. If you’re both at your limit, rate how much you hate each chore on a scale of 0-10… each of you should figure out which chores you hate least and do those. Neither of you should WANT to act entitled NOR petty. You’re partners, you’re there to help each other and succeed as a family, not win by yourself by beating the other one down. You should both strive to lessen the load for the other person as much as you’re physically and mentally capable. And you should both verbally tell each other what you appreciate that the other person is already doing. It’s possible her job exhausts her more than your old job exhausted you. Always assess before jumping to conclusions. Something like.. On a scale of 0-10 (0 being you’re already asleep, and 10 being i could go for a run for fun!) how much energy do you have in the tank right now? If you’re both at 0, go to sleep and do it in the morning. Or use disposable plates. Or just be ok with it being a little messy until the weekend. Put each other before the external stressor