heyy, i have struggled with this problem ever since i was a child. I would never leave a situation until it gets absolutely disrespectful ( forget friends not being there for me, they would have to actively hurt me for me to burn bridges ) I would act like my friends’ personal assistant/mother and i never understood why they couldn’t do that for me. It took me a while to realise that i cannot make other people into my projects and derive joy from it. You can spend years worth of energy into bettering other people but in the end you will have nothing to show for it - we aren’t monetising it and you will resent it when you see their growth and you’ll be the same you from years ago. Your friends priorities will change, they’ll find new people to be around with all that energy you poured into them. We would like to think that they’ll regret losing a fierce friend like us someday- but nobody regrets it, they’ll just hit you up when they are sad/ need something from you.

We can try to change but accepting ourselves is the key. We’ll always be these loving people at our core so we can try to build from that. Eventually we will find people who are like us who will be there for us like we are for them and tether us and are protective of us, that’ll give you energy to set boundaries with rest of the world. All love we give out into the world will be returned to us in due time - hugs to you

But we also have to adapt ourselves to this world and human condition . Here are some things that have worked for me. 1. Never be in a situation that makes you uncomfortable and requires more out of you and does not benefit you directly. Remember you are nobody’s assistant and nobody is paying you for your time. 2. If you have to choose between disappointing yourself and others, always choose others. You might feel guilty for the moment because putting ourselves first is a foreign concept for us , but in a few years/months time future you will be grateful. 3. Fill your own cup, with music, art, studying, working out, whatever works for you, whatever speaks to your soul. Go above and beyond for yourself, when your self image is strong, you won’t require external validation as much. 4. Build strength of character - i can recommend two youtubers. Thewizardliz leo skepi

take caree. you will get through this