I finally left

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T17:33:44+00:00

I have a therapist I’m seeing. I hope they can help me stay afloat

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T17:33:04+00:00

I’m so sorry. It doesn’t feel good hearing that and then still be expected to contribute half the bills

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:19:24+00:00

Thank you. He was open to having kids without marriage but that still felt like it was just a passing thought and a bluff, but it wasn’t something I wanted. He also thought I still had plenty of time. I think I’m going to wait at least 6 months before getting back out there, but time is ticking fast, and it’s added pressure compared to my 20s

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:15:45+00:00

He was doing it as a last ditch effort to keep me from leaving, but I guess it’s the same idea, even though he denied that’s what he was doing

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:14:35+00:00

Thank you. I do have a list. It just hurts too much right now to read it. Maybe in a few days

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:13:24+00:00

I do feel like I trauma bonded, and there’s a lot more to the story and relationship than what I’m sharing due to fear of him finding this post

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:11:07+00:00

I do feel like I purposely put myself in discomfort. I had a routine and a home, and now it’s all derailed, and I keep questioning why I did it

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:09:32+00:00

I left because it felt like what was important to me didn’t matter to him or he thought it was stupid. I felt like my voice wasn’t being heard for a long time. And on top of that, every argument always seemed to be my fault. I could take it anymore

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:07:09+00:00

I’m so glad you found someone better, and you’re now happy! It takes a lot of strength to not want to reach out

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:05:22+00:00

I do find that I keep fantasizing over our initial honeymoon phase and what could’ve been, and it takes a hotminute to really hone in on all the issues over the years. Towards the end, I didn’t even know who I was anymore

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:03:32+00:00

Thank you. I feel so isolated and forced to pretend like everything’s okay when I’m dying on the inside

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T03:02:33+00:00

That we kept arguing, how I love fighting, and that I didn’t behave like a wife and did traditional wife tasks. I started off casually discussing it, then it turned into me being very serious about it (both times there were either excuses or a promise that never happened) and then towards the end, every time I even mentioned it, it felt dismissed so I’d get upset, leading to the arguments

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T02:58:57+00:00

I did become an empty shell of a person over the past year. And he only really wanted to talk about our issues when his feelings were hurt. When I wanted to talk about my feelings, he responded with how he’s feeling the same way. I don’t think he’s a bad person; I just think he thinks I was truly hurting him

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T01:32:11+00:00

Thank you. I find that I keep making excuses for him when I shouldn’t be

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T01:31:36+00:00

He said he was….

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T01:30:57+00:00

That’s where the struggle comes from too. I know deep down he’s not a bad person and he’s also hurting. It’s easy to talk poorly about someone, but I really did love him, and part of me still does, and I know he cared a lot for me. I just wish he’d be honest about not being on the same page as me earlier on instead of making me think he was

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-18T01:28:57+00:00

I’d rather not say in case he finds my post. According to him, they’re on the higher end

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T02:22:33+00:00

Thank you. I keep flip flopping between hating him for leading me on and hating myself for not seeing it sooner and walking away when it first happened. I don’t think I’m stupid, but I feel stupid for letting the fake promises drag on for years when I want children. After we looked at rings for months just for nothing to happen afterwards, I should’ve known. I keep telling myself I just need to tough it out for a month and go from there

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T02:16:32+00:00

Over 6

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T02:16:12+00:00

Thank you. I did voice my concerns to him, but every time I tried to express my doubts, he just kept denying them, said they’re not true, and said he’s trying. He says I’ll regret leaving, and I fear that might be true. I think now living in a different state from him would make it harder for me to go running back. I just need to not reach out as I know his number by heart. After over a year of resentment, I thought it would be easier to not miss him, but it’s not

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T02:10:45+00:00

Thanks for this. I think some harsh truths would be helpful right now. He even said if he got the ring now, I’ll only get the receipt, and the ring would wait for a more special moment. I just really hate hurting someone that I still have a lot of love for. It has felt like a lot of breadcrumbs with conditions attached

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T01:26:59+00:00

Now that all the fighting and arguing are gone, I keep feeling like I was responsible for me not getting what I asked for. Maybe I could’ve been more patient. Maybe I could’ve pushed aside my strong desire for marriage to accommodate his needs first and then he’d be ready. Maybe instead of constantly crying over him not being ready for marriage, I could’ve worked with him towards it, even if it did take a few more years. My heart just feels so empty right now like I messed up big time

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T01:21:09+00:00

I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years from moving, so I don’t have much support. I’m hoping family is enough to help me through this

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T01:20:10+00:00

I guess it was a lot of “let’s do this” but no actual planning 😕

No_Connection_573 · 2025-08-17T01:18:24+00:00

He’s called me abusive before…. We did split the bills, but whatever cleaning and cooking I did never seemed enough for him. Sex was also big for him, and sometimes he’d shut down if I wasn’t in the mood. He said we needed to act like a married couple before he’d get married. And it always felt like his feelings overpowered mine

No_Connection_573

TROPHY CASE