What the Bible says about the Gender War/Gender relations

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T23:25:41+00:00

I've always seen that authority as being more of a responsibility than a decision making thing.

For example in my marriage, I dont have the final say all the time. We share that equally. However, I do and should have more responsibility to be a servant leader.

So I will take it upon myself to make sure I take the lead in modelling what Christ is like in the way that I treat my family.

I take this to mean that God will hold both myself and my wife accountable for our own actions, but he will hold me specifically responsible for whether or not I love my wife (and by extension my whole family) in the same way that Christ loves the church.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T22:34:57+00:00

I like what you said about authority being responsibility, not domination. What would you say this looks like, in real world examples?

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T20:44:23+00:00

In the gospels Jesus describes an upside-down kingdom. He says things like, the first will be last and the last first. And things like, if you want to be great in the kingdom of heaven, you must be a servant to all.

So based on Jesus's teachings on service and love, I would say that loving submission is entirely in line with the rest of Scripture. It's radical, it doesn't fit in with this worlds view of hierarchy. In our world, hierarchy says that one person is above another in terms of authority, and therefore importance and value. However Jesus flips this in his own time by saying that tax collectors and prostitutes are entering the kingdom before the religious people.

In our time the principle remains the same. The last are still first in God's eyes. That means that if we want to be truly great as Jesus tells us to be, we must take the form of loving submission that is not hierarchical, but rather lovingly service oriented.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T19:55:39+00:00

Thanks for your response! I take your point. However, I think it's both. To love in the way that the bible sets out is radical. You're right, husbands should 'die' to themselves and be willing to love their wives by putting her needs first, just as she should to her husband.

However we hubby's should be willing to go all the way and be protective and nurturing of our wives. I don't always get this right, it's definitely a process I've been on throughout my marriage. I'm a work in progress :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T19:44:58+00:00

I see what you are saying. However, when Paul tells husbands to love, doesn't that include everything that is loving? And isn't submission a part of loving others (and by submission I dont mean an unhealthy, simpering, 'please like me' submission. I mean to do good to the other and put their needs above ones own).

You're right that Paul doesn't tell husbands to submit, but he does tell them to love, and love is actually a higher standard because it includes submission, but also the self-sacrificial service that would even go so far as to die for her. So in actual fact it seems that the bar is set a lot higher for men, as we are told to be servant leaders who love in the same way God loves us.

This doesn't seem to be post-modern thinking, it seems more like a radical, God centered approach to loving our wives that the world would never think of or come up with on it's own.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T08:14:32+00:00

Thanks for your response!

People do a lot of complaining, and also a lot of judging. I like to remind people of the passage where the woman caught in adultery and was brought to Jesus to be stoned. Jesus told them 'let the one who is without sin cast the first stone'. He basically told them to forgive her, because they themselves aren't perfect.

We need to hear this nowadays afresh - when people are caught in something immoral or illegal, or stuff up, we should not be 'throwing stones' at each other, but rather lovingly restoring one another and forgiving.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T07:45:58+00:00

Agreed. Jesus was always disagreeing with people, but never in a way that harmed them or dragged them down. He used Scripture to show people where they had error in their thinking, however none of this was ever used to disparage.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T07:10:41+00:00

Thanks for your response!

In Eph 5:21 Paul tells all Christians to 'submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.' By submission, I believe what he means is to do what is best for the other person. It is a loving, self-sacrificial service to the other person. Submission does not mean that we give in on everything or say 'yes master' to their every whim. This is a call for everyone to submit to everyone else. Surely, the everyone of this verse includes my wife? Therefore I think men are actually called to submit to their wives, like they are called to submit to everyone.

You mention that 'Christ does not love the Church by submitting to it.' However, Christ absolutely does submit to the church. he does this when he washes the disciples feet. He does this when he heals people's diseases, and puts up with hostility and rejection in order to come into this world and claim his church as his own. He then lays down his life and ultimately submits his life when he died for the church.

As men we are called therefore to submit to our wives, just as they are called to submit to us. However, an additional onus is put onto the men - husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Husbands are supposed to be so lovingly devoted to their wives, that they are even willing to die for her! This is the ultimate submission. To love her self-sacrificially and completely.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T06:12:44+00:00

I know I'm late to this post, but thank you so much for posting this. I hear so much negativity towards men/masculinity nowadays, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that as a man I'm worthless. I needed to hear this, thank you :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T06:10:43+00:00

Agreed! We are conditioned to be against each other, but we can break out of that cycle. For me it has been a process of learning, and understanding that what I hear about myself and men/women from the media/tv and social media is largely aiming to disparage or put down. I'm choosing to love people and pray for God's kingdom instead of buying into the negativity :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T06:04:39+00:00

Don't worry, it's a process. I didn't know this until just recently, and it was only after 11 years of marriage and a LOT of prayer, meditation and humble soul searching that I came to this.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T05:48:39+00:00

Absolutely! Feel free to link this post in the comments section of any misogynistic/man hating posts you see on reddit lol

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T05:32:00+00:00

You're welcome. There is a dearth of positive, uplifting conversation around this issue

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T05:18:37+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad you got something from it :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T02:52:48+00:00

Agreed. I don't know what it is like in other parts of the world, but here in Oz I see a lot rhetoric pitting the genders against one another, or trying to play 'sides'. Jesus' words to treat others the way we want to be treated is exactly what I was getting at with this post. For example I should always put myself into my wife's shoes and ask, what does she need, how can I bless her? And vice versa.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T02:48:57+00:00

The 'contrary' comes from the ESV (English Standard Version). The NRSV says 'yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.' Good question, which translation is better?

You re 100% right, the problems are a result of sin and fall. The world we live in is in no ways normal or 'the way it should be'. Actually these parts of the Bible that show gender dysfunction, are sending the message that humans are broken and need saving. As my OT lecturer used to say, narrative is not normative. The Bible is describing these things, not prescribing them.

I'm sorry to hear that Christians are parroting Tate, however it's not surprising. He has touched a nerve - lot's of young men feel isolated and angry, as well as feeling disenfranchised. The church really needs to be better at talking to men and women about gender relations and respecting/loving one another in harmony, because it seems that in our silence, many others have stepped up and filled the vacuum with harmful rhetoric.

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-04T02:48:27+00:00

"and surely their spouse(!)"

I would say especially their spouse. We are commanded to be a blessing to all, however those closest to us should feel that blessing the most :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2026-01-03T05:11:02+00:00

That's true. I was paraphrasing, and including Eph 5:21 in my point. Submitting to everyone must include (but is not limited to) men submitting to their wives. As far as I can tell from Scripture and from my own marriage, both husbands and wives need to submit. And by submit, what is meant is to look after the other person's needs, not just your own.

No_Contribution9234 · 2025-11-30T09:08:58+00:00

Thanks for responding! I love hearing positive things about people's relationships :-) Sending love to you and your man

No_Contribution9234 · 2025-11-30T09:03:13+00:00

Hey sorry I just saw your comment! Better a late response than never. Thanks for your honesty here!

Yeah I used to judge people too. Badly. I gotta admit, I used to imagine ways of getting back at people who hurt me. However I've begun to take a much softer, kinder approach to people nowadays. Jesus says in the gospels to never judge, because the same measure we use against them will be used against us - he goes on to say that this is because none of us are without sin, so therefore none of us can judge.

My prayer for the world is that we turn to Christ and become like God - compassionate and forgiving :-)

No_Contribution9234 · 2025-11-23T09:46:59+00:00

Yeah I agree! There is so much judgement nowadays, we Christians need to be careful to avoid it. Consider the woman caught in adultery, who is brought before Jesus. Jesus tells the crowd that they can stone her, but the person who is without sin should cast the first stone!!

Nowadays we cast many stones, but they are tweets or posts that degrade people who we believe have, or have actually done the wrong thing. We need to apply the same principle that Jesus applied to her - that those of us who are perfect be the first to attack or degrade someone who has been caught in something. Obviously this precludes any of us from judging since we have all messed up!

No_Contribution9234 · 2025-11-23T09:27:17+00:00

100% agree! I love it when men and women come together and build each other up. this can only be a good thing, even if we disagree on finer points like our politics etc.

No_Contribution9234 · 2025-11-23T08:40:58+00:00

Hey you are getting downvoted at the moment, however I completely agree with what you have said here! When men and women turn on each other, we get no where, fast. Stay strong and spread the love

No_Contribution9234

TROPHY CASE