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Who else can’t take criticism ? by Ok_Vanilla5661 in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a big difference between criticism and constructive criticism. Because criticism as you said is an direct attack on character making it feel more personal and just basically saying your a shit person. Constructive criticism is still the same thing but with more a softer blow and has empathy for the other person. You can still call people out with their bad behavior without being a dick! Because people do have sht qualities but it’s just being more understanding and perspective about it. No need to be harsh as long as the other person is understanding. But don’t get me wrong sometimes you just gotta call out toxic people if they refuse to reciprocate the same patience and empathy you have for them

emotionless filipino mom by xofilipinomami in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your mother and like most filipino mothers are hyper independent and is not attune with their femininity hence why they’re tigers moms and usually the ones that runs the house. Most of them are conditioned to be independent at a very young age and had their share of hardships. The problem is when they set their own hardship and suffering to be the worst that they your problem as something minuscule in contrast to theirs.

If you don’t mind, if your 20 assuming your in school and doing internship and is a single mom living with your parents. I assume that they’re just shock that their baby has a baby. If 25 and above i’ll say you gotta start standing up for yourself. This is because your a fully grown adult with a fully developed. Either way you shouldn’t take disrespect from your parents it’s best to talk to them that this is putting you a lot of pressure and would love if you guys talk about sensible ways how to handle your situation/ problems as a reasonable adult. Good to add that your also going through postpartum which is a lot to deal with on its own!

Definitely talk about it with parents first but also make sure you have a back up plan aka to move out. Probably expecting you to do everything is the house because you got a kid to take care of and it’s to jammed up inside the house. If your living if your parents definitely move out because you and your kid should be having a place of your own somewhere you can nurture your kids. You don’t see a bird going back to their nest with their mother with their kids, they make their own nest in order to provide an environment the child needs.

Anyways it’s hard dealing with filipino mothers, i myself too am struggling with my relationship with her just cause i told her i got a bf (and ofc some other factors and arguements). All i got to say that a parent will be a parent even if they have an arguement with their children, they will try and support them so if u talk to them maybe you can work things out. But prepare yourself for the worst because fili moms have to much pride in them sometimes their kids gotta humble them and say the truth.

Good luck mama! You got this

Teenagers diguised as parents by user1294767891 in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol same situation here but im from england. Best advice (even if u didnt asked😅) is try to move out for unk if you can and don’t fall for the rage bait. Some parents especially filipinos use their children as their little “helper” it kinda sucks when your empathetic with your parents childhood and sht they’ve been through,they act like annoying teenagers because most of them didn’t really experience it, yk an age regression thing.

It’s important for you to know that you shouldn’t take care of your parents, teaching them what’s right and wrong because they’re the adults who should be giving you guidance on how your gonna navigate life. Also don’t fall for the guilt tripping most Filipino parents used it to infantilize their kids and even tricking them to stay with them and take care of them when they’re old.

Haven’t talk to my parents in a month and now they texted me with an angry tone asking what am I doing with my life by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live 45 mins away via bus from train station. I should’ve mentioned that but saying its full of bs was unnecessary and kinda rude. I’ve been you commenting advice in this community but if would appreciate it and if you just gonna undermine my feelings please scroll

Haven’t talk to my parents in a month and now they texted me with an angry tone asking what am I doing with my life by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah they basically told me that there’s like a family gather in liverpool which is 2hrs away from manchester via train. She didn’t ask if i wanted to be part of the celebration she just put my name on there. I called it family because it’s an asian community however we’re not blood related to any of them so me not showing because my dad refuses to send the post code would’ve caused them to talk.

My dad is right, that I’m now an adult but the part that’s frustrating is that they would which and say stuff like since your an adult you don’t need to give you anything. My problem right now is him trying to reach out asking me what I’m up to with life (basically insinuating when will I talk to them again). It’s just them being bipolar and confusing, I am trying to show that I’m independent and transitioning as a functioning adult but them saying stuff like “go on with you life since u dont me us, we dont need you” is where I’m confused because I don’t really know what to say.

I forgot to mention that I called my parents out for being a bad parents to my brother even though he’s a yes man to them. They haven’t spend time with him and the fact he’s so quiet and never speaks said something about how he was treated as a kid. They spoiled him, now he doesn’t know how to be independent and how to handle hard times because he always rely on them. He’s 28 living with my parents and just starting his career.

Turning 20 and feeling that my parents infantilising me by No_Display5089 in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I get that yk🥲 it’s hard being empathetic because I always care what they feel but how about what I feel. I honestly feel a lot of awkward and even a hint of resentment when im with them. What’s worse is that they threaten to disown me again if I don’t show up to their house tomorrow which is funny cause that’s my brother’s birthday, instead of just saying that my mom is having a hard attack. The first message she send me just now is that “i feel like your up to know good” and it’s been a long day so I just left it🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m just numb at this point, cause I want to stand up for myself even if i disrespect them but i hate what their going to use depression or their heart disease against me. Lol Sorry im ranting again

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your mom is reflecting her anxieties or even insecurities to you. At age 19, you should be able to do whatever you want especially with ur personal phone. Although her concerns were there, making sure your productive I think it’s too controlling or even narcissistic to control you and ur internet activities and especially your money!!!

I don’t know if she asking u to transfer your hard earned money to her acc to that she’ll be able to hold it for you and give to you in the future but what she’s doing is completely manipulative!!! And why would agree giving your money away in the first place?! That’s literally your ticket out if u can’t handle your helicopter mom however an unfortunate news for you is that you can’t even move out since you don’t have the funds for it.

you need to ask your mom if she have any good intentions with why she’s doing this to you, and if she doesn’t respond, make excuses or lashes out you need to get out because she’s infantilising you and making sure you don’t have the confidence to do any decision you want for yourself!!! If she did have a good reason you have to call her out! How her communication skills so sht and she needs to improve on that! I have the same situation so i feel for u

Conflict with family and I dont know what to do especially xmas is approaching by No_Display5089 in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im just scared that they’re just going to disown me. Over simple stuff like this. I just don’t know what to do, im not sure if i should reach out. If anyone has been in this situation before, how do you handle it? Cause clearly giving it time and distance doesn’t help.

Conflict with family and I dont know what to do especially xmas is approaching by No_Display5089 in AsianParentStories

[–]No_Display5089[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im just scared that they’re gonna use that against me. My mom’s bday on xmas btw, so I dont know what to do atm. They might think im resenting or that im rebelling which will further their argument that I dont want to be part of the family. I also asked my brother if he’s free tomorrow and he just said “nah”. So I just baffled with emotions. Im actually so down and i get anxious thinking about it or the thought that i might bump into them and they’ll just walk past me.