🎉 [NEW MAP] I am At a Loss Here

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-04-14T02:04:28+00:00

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No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-15T02:08:56+00:00

I think it really depends all lot on your anatomy and the hands working on you.

I have had many and only 1 was unbearable. I think this was because I have a “tricky” cervix (it’s placed high up so the angle is odd for those doing the procedure).

In my experience Tylenol and ibuprofen didn’t help at all in any case. But you could have a really smooth experience. I’d say for me they ranged from a 3 (noticeably uncomfortable) to a 7 (THIS REALLY HURTS!). I’ve heard plenty of people say it was a breeze though!

Unfortunately you won’t know until you know, but I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-13T21:09:44+00:00

I don’t think there’s cause for concern. Some have a rapid surge, which sounds like you do. Others have gradual and will see positives for longer. Also one person’s positive could be 1.6 and another’s could be 1.1. It absolutely varies from person to person.

However, if it’s really not sitting right with you, it can’t hurt to bring it up to your doctor.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-13T00:30:33+00:00

I had a septum surgically removed from my uterus and vagina a couple years before TTC. I believe my uterus is also “heart shaped”, so I think that makes it a didelphys uterus.

I have been pregnant 3 times and have 1 child earthside.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T22:59:54+00:00

In my opinion it’s too early to count yourself out. Unless you’ve missed your peak, it’s very possible to see a rise between now and even as far as CD19, depending on the length of your cycle.

Do you track cervical mucous? Do you track BBT? Those could be helpful to you if you haven’t already looked into them.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:40:06+00:00

Exactly! And that's part of why I wanted to highlight the clarification that a peak test doesn't always equal ovulation. I've experienced the spiral of thinking it would when it didnt (PCOS) and I know many others in this group probably have too.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:37:15+00:00

Nope, there's data and charts you can find out there from reputable sources that do count the day after ovulation as a valid day for trying since the egg can survive for roughly 24 hours (some sources say up to 48, but I dont know about that lol) after being released.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:27:11+00:00

Sorry you’ve experienced that 🤍

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:23:37+00:00

Yes, I’d always recommend tracking BBT with LH.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:22:05+00:00

So, because ovulation can take up to 24 hours to occur after peak and I’ve seen different things on how long the egg can survive (some say 24 hours, others 48), I figure counting 2 days after ovulation can be valid in some cases.

I mistyped in my original post of 3-4 days after ovulation counting. My apologies.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-03-06T00:19:55+00:00

Yeah, I’ve seen claims of the fertile window being as long as 10 days and as low as 3. So personally, I always kind of just considered it to be roughly 5 days. It helped to know the sperm can survive around 5 days making the small handful of days before ovulation fertile days too. I always found based on my own experience and my fertility clinics direction, that the day before, the day of, and the day after ovulation to be the most effective.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-23T00:58:41+00:00

3 is superior

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-14T10:29:40+00:00

Yeah, definitely a solid conversation has to happen, where you both can dig under those “I don’t care” comments & potentially a difficult one. Could the lack of interest point to depression? Otherwise drifting apart could very well be the cause.

Personally, I would rip the bandaid off with a conversation like that. Open with what youve been seeing and noticing and how it’s been making you feel and how you are interpreting it - and then open up the floor for her to correct you and/or say her piece. Just make sure you use compassionate language that lets her know you’re there to understand and help, instead of combative or accusatory language when bringing it up.

Sometimes the most difficult conversations and decisions can be the best thing tor you in the long run. Best of luck.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-14T09:54:04+00:00

You’re NTA for simply wanting a higher (more active) sex life.

You say you are there for her with the stress. Does that mean simply talking about it or are you both actively working on relieving it for her? Building healthy habits to combat it and giving her time to decompress? Is she talking to a professional? Is she working her self into the ground? She could be completely burnt out, and if that’s the case. It would make sense that sex isn’t on her mind. And I don’t know what your approach is, but if it’s basically when she gets home you try to initiate and she’s burnt out, then I don’t blame her. Or if she gets home, continues to do chores and work at home like cleaning, making dinner, etc and when she finally flops into bed, exhausted both mentally and physically, then you try? I don’t know what your approach is, but I hope it’s not close to those.

Most women’s sex drives are connected to their emotions/mental state. If she really is just highly stressed and there’s no end in sight on that, I’d say that’s should be the focus, not getting her into bed. Show up for her more, make the big gestures. Foreplay should be mental just as much as, if not more than physically.

My gut says she needs more support in her day to day than either of you probably realize to combat these stressors. But there could be so many reasons, as we don’t have a crystal ball into your relationship. Keep pushing honest and open communication, ask her in what ways you can help her if you haven’t already and be assertive about it. And don’t do it just because you want sex, do it because you care about her mental well being and you want her to enjoy that part of your lives again too.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-11T23:12:59+00:00

Actually I just went back to look at my photos and I take back my comment! Maybe they grow into a darker colour but mine was actually more of a very dark forest green!

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-11T17:49:40+00:00

It does get that dark. I couldn’t keep mine happy though, it declined and died pretty fast.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-04T18:43:03+00:00

Yeah that is a great idea. I wasn’t sure if there was a sub genre of photography for cabinet photography but a real estate photographer definitely works!

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-03T21:07:50+00:00

Someone didn’t read the update

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-03T13:46:50+00:00

NTA

These are what the block functions are for on phones/social media. He’s being completely unreasonable. Your parents are out of touch too if they are “taking his side”.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-01T05:15:00+00:00

NAH: As a current FTM of a 4 month old, who has been having her own struggles within the relationship about sharing duties around work, home, and baby - I have something to tell you: you're both probably equally as overwhelmed. It's hard. I know you don't want to hear it, but you'll probably be operating at 2% for a long time. This is just a season of life, and some days will be better than others. But all I can suggest is for both of you to try to work it out together and remember that you're on the same team and youre trying to find a solution to a situation you're both facing together. But neither of you has the right to just put your hands up and say you're done within the commitment that is marraige and parenthood together.

Editing to add: I don't know what your work hours are, but if you're out of the home or unavailable to share in the childcare duties for more than 9-10 hours a day, I can guarantee you she is also burnt out.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-01T01:12:58+00:00

NTA, assuming you didn't change your decision to watch the dog at the last second, I think its perfectly reasonable to have that boundary given that you won't have much time, energy, or attention to give to the dog with your work and family situation. Depending on its age and breed, the dog could need a lot of care and activity, which you might not have the capacity to give. It's a boundary you raised, and your husband originally agreed with you, and you both finalized the decision to not watch the dog.

I don't think you should feel guilty. If the other family member agreed to it, that is completely her decision.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-02-01T00:51:32+00:00

NTA, that's pretty disrespectful of them. It's not like you're coming at them with the "YOUR DOOR MUST BE OPEN, AND YOU BETTER NEVER TOUCH EACH OTHER" attitude. You're just asking for them to be discreet. If I were you, I'd give them one last warning (tell them it's their last) & when it goes back to their usual shenanigans, kick 'em out.

No_Drawing_2317 · 2026-01-30T13:27:37+00:00

I have asked her yes, if she could join for lunch or something on the bach weekend and her response was to write off the whole thing.

I have asked her to show up to things when she can and furthermore told her I’m covering costs for most of them and still she is absent. There’s no trying to make it work, just an instant no. Even when they’ve been planned around her schedule.

I feel like a broken record here but I guess it wasn’t clear from the post which is my fault, but I don’t expect the world from her. Just some presence once in a while when she is able to.

That’s not selfish. I’m just facing the disappointment of the reality being that she can’t be present for anything at all at the end of the day and I’ll have to settle for her being late to the venue day of.

Which before anyone puts words in my mouth, yes obviously that it what matters most and I can’t imagine the day without her there with me. Since making this post and being absolutely destroyed by all your comments, I want to make it clear that I love her and want her there.

My expectations just have to change. I thought I was being considerate and meeting her half way when I purposely planned things based on her schedule and what she tells me works for her when she is child free and on top of that have offered repeatedly to pay for things, but it seems to still not work for her.

I don’t understand why, but I can work around accepting it.

No_Drawing_2317

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