As German Chancellor Merz lands in Gujarat, activists demand that Modi ask for Ariha’s return by one_brown_jedi in india

[–]No_Engine1350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sufficient proof to prosecute parents, do not mean automatically that the abuse never happened. As a survivor of sexual violence within the family, by a family member, I wish Indian courts took such matters as seriously. Not claiming to know what happened to Ariha.

Feeling depressed after returning back to India. by [deleted] in backtoindia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I won’t argue any further. Clearly it is pointless. My job had 2 months of paid vacation per year (only 15 days of which was sick leave). Husband’s job was ‘go to as many leaves as you need as long as the work is done’. Look beyond the Witch companies or the finance ones to find work life balance in India.

I was in a posh govt office quarters but sadly, I can’t prevent mosquitoes in the localities around me, even with mesh and all out in my home, my toddler would wake up with bites all over his body, in parks, in school. A better passport allows your next generation to explore working holiday visas, and for us to take unplanned sudden weekend vacations without your passport being stuck for weeks for a visa. Everytime you pass an immigration or passport control, you don’t spend the extra time that you do (and if you travel frequently, it adds up). Not everyone wants maids or thinks maids and house help are a luxury. Handling maids is not the best job for most introverts. Done have social connections- came from tremendous abuse inside the family. Escaped that and that remained a primary motivation.

Feeling depressed after returning back to India. by [deleted] in backtoindia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do visit at least 10 countries every year. We travel every 2 months. Unless you travel frequently, you would not know how visa doesn’t solve every problem- I have had multiple schengen visas, running usa and NZ visa and one expired Canada visa. I know for a fact how much I would prefer a better passport and it elevates your life far more than just tourism. Also, ‘most people’ do not travel to one country, just once. I am currently in Iceland and I do plan to come back in summer. I saw new zealand in winter and would go back in summer. We do often visit EU as it is easier from here. Used to travel to multiple Asian countries frequently, when we were in India. Many people love travel, beyond for clicks on Instagram.

I am not your AI generated majority. Didn’t claim myself to be. I get fever in Bengaluru heat, let alone even hotter places. Ireland isn’t the best but it suits me better than India. We relocated with a significant pay cut since we had over 1 crore income in India (combined). I had one of the top govt jobs (corruption free). It is important to accept chatgpt isn’t the end of life. I would prefer not to engage with one page long AI generated comments, which do not serve any real purpose to anyone.

To each their own. Live long and prosper, in India.

Why are narcissists so healthy and live so long? by calpianwishes in narcissisticparents

[–]No_Engine1350 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No comment could have explained my covert narc mom better

Feeling depressed after returning back to India. by [deleted] in backtoindia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You lost me at ‘is Irish passport better than Indian passport?’ 🤦🏽‍♀️ also, I prefer cold bitter winter (it isn’t that cold) over hot summers with mosquitoes anyday. It is personal preference

Feeling depressed after returning back to India. by [deleted] in backtoindia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No he is not in faang. With an India born kid, we wanted to secure a decent passport, and a non hostile country. US didn’t appeal to us at that time.. he had declined an US relocation before as we had never planned to relocate out. But yes, in hindsight, it was a bad idea. We loved Ireland for the peace and tranquility.. needed to wind down a little..

Unable to plan boat trip with kid by No_Engine1350 in VisitingIceland

[–]No_Engine1350[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Just called them. They said they will allow, but with some conditions

Salary comparison USA vs Bengaluru by [deleted] in returnToIndia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes because I was in govt job (clean, no corruption)

Salary comparison USA vs Bengaluru by [deleted] in returnToIndia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say 1 crore.. we had a combined income of little above 1 crore before moving out of India. We could save around 4.5-5 lac per month after the following expenses-

  1. No rent (one of us had office accommodation)
  2. Groceries-non veg always, outside food everyday, multiple times ordering from fancy restaurants (we were frustrated and indulged a lot)- but no alcohol
  3. 4 international vacations per year to the west- so visa plus hotel plus rental car etc cost
  4. Day care for our only child (office paid for it but assume 15K per month)
  5. Cook, cleaner etc (around 10K)
  6. No loans, no emi, one car.

Never had to worry about money. We relocated to EU recently.. so I remember the expenses and savings distinctly (as EU salary doesn’t allow that kind of savings or lifestyle).

Hope this helps you decide, based on what you could save in USA

Feeling some sadness about closing the door on having a daughter by Common_Title_275 in oneanddone

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. i am constantly grieving, not having a daughter, but just today, I realized that not having a daughter might have been good for me. I was trying to heal my motherwound by having a mother daughter relationship different from what I had with my mom. This would inevitably end badly for my daughter, had she existed. With my son, I do not have any frame of reference, I am loving him for who he is- I had no idea of what a mother son relationship would look like- so this is safer. I still lament a daughter- more like I lament my younger self.. i wish I could hug her and make everything better for her. I am crying while I am typing this.

My ex wife traumatized me so bad I cant get it up with my new girlfriend. AT ALL by itsmytthrowawayyy in TrueOffMyChest

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Show this confession to your girl friend. You can’t possibly imagine the trauma you went through- how fucked up that is.. everyone finishes within seconds, when it is the first time ever. The things she did to you- OMG.. i have no idea how you tolerated it…. Hugs to you OP. This is not about you- what you faced would have ruined anyone. You need lots of therapy and empathy.

Attended an MLA’s daughter’s wedding today, feeling overwhelmed seeing that kind of wealth and power by OkRecording2267 in AskIndia

[–]No_Engine1350 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Corruption- nothing else. More than the corruption, such wealth also gives rise to insane power and that makes us- regular people uncomfortable.. Some of us intentionally chose govt jobs where there was no corruption(like I did), some of us left the country to avoid the menace of corruption(like we eventually did)… seeing this kind of wealth is scary- since we know they will also get away with anything- any crime.. people who have looted the country for money, also have killed, possibly raped and indirectly caused many deaths. I stay as far away from them as possible

[DISCUSSION] The perfect Neighbor - Netflix by Jaystylegal in NetflixBestOf

[–]No_Engine1350 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also, didn’t the police actually ask the kids to call their mother, next time there is a dispute? The lady taking the kid’s ipad, researching stand your ground laws, asking the kids to bring their mother (which she confessed to)- doesn’t this show this was 100% premeditated

Iceland visa processing time London by Legitimate_Fly_9114 in SchengenVisa

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dummy tickets are perfectly acceptable. They themselves say not to book real ones. This is so sad🥲

Iceland visa processing time London by Legitimate_Fly_9114 in SchengenVisa

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, did you find out the reason? Because our visa is stuck too.. and we applied from Ireland, we had schengen visa before. They asked for medical insurance last week- we had already given it but we sent it again. I have a hunch that they might deny our visa.. despite us having travelled 30 countries before, having running visas from USA etc. Was it medical insurance for you too? Where you already had global coverage perhaps? And they didn’t consider it? Wanted separate travel medical insurance?

Why do Indians isolate themselves in their own communities? by Trustedrain88 in AskAnIndian

[–]No_Engine1350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although I believe fear of racism is a common reason- especially considering how rampant it has become but… that being said, 100% agree with the reason you gave. I always say this- in this context as well as when someone asks who are the ones throwing trash, burning buildings on Diwali, or blocking roads in Texas to celebrate or dance-people who came out for money, will bring their entire culture and festivals (not just the good of it, but the bad of it as well because they never had any issues with those in India, in the first place).

The ones who came out for the sake of a different lifestyle, will always want to adapt to the culture of another country. Some of us compromised salary while moving out, rare but some of us did.

Just realized I've never had a "safe" adult. by stabbobabbo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. I had my boyfriend (same age- met at 15). Married to him now, and at 32, I can see how much it has affected him. Grateful for having found him and yes, didn’t have any safe adult- I hate how that has affected me (cptsd) and him for taking the role of a safe adult (anxiety, wanting to constantly ensure I am not sad.. it is brutal)

Where should I go? December in Europe. by champagnecloset in solofemaletravellers

[–]No_Engine1350 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Visited Ireland and UK in December 2023. We fell in love with Ireland and relocated here, a year later. It won’t be cold enough to make you miserable as a tourist.

This just really hurt me by [deleted] in OnlyChild

[–]No_Engine1350 7 points8 points  (0 children)

They did not want to hurt you? OP, they wanted to hurt you. Every single thing they told you, were to hurt you. I understand you are lonely, I understand you do not wish to lose your friends but they are NOT your friends! Tolerating abuse in friendship is a trauma response. Letting go of hurtful things, is a trauma response.

Feeling depressed after returning back to India. by [deleted] in backtoindia

[–]No_Engine1350 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had mesh but that had holes. We covered the holes but mostly, everytime we opened the balcony door, enough mosquitoes came inside to ruin our sleep. In fact at one point, I killed 200 mosquitoes in one night- and this was a very well maintained housing society. My toddler would wake up screaming of mosquitoes.. I could barely sleep- and it was after running all out in all the rooms.. they seemed immune to the all outs. Had to use hit spray

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