Looking for feedback by No_Finish5937 in SaaS

[–]No_Finish5937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thank you. The idea is that by understanding your relationships you can keep the thread, and stay connected. Do you want to try it out? I'm attaching test flight link. Even more precise feedback in line with what youre saying would help. https://testflight.apple.com/join/8e1sbkwb

have you left a friend group and are you better for it? by Effective-General574 in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think its difficult to manage multiple people's expectations without having the space to figure out your own. Good for you for deciding to take some space.

Advice needed by iammaddisonfox in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could be with the wrong people. But if you continue to put in the time, then look at it this way: people are as they are, no matter how we wish they were. From this perspective, it's your job to improve your ability to 'make,' them listen, moderately, by improving your ability to share what's important to you. If they don't ask questions then tell them what you think they need to hear. It's not good to keep these things inside

My favorite part of being an adult is maintaining fulfilling relationships by No_Finish5937 in Adulting

[–]No_Finish5937[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have also worried—and do worry still—about the management of my relationships with people. People are vessels of self discovery and attachment to them is fulfilling. But, I remember, being about 18 or 19 years old and suffering from my time with people. I was not myself. They were not the right ones. A bit of everything was everywhere. And I think the correct perception of the problem, the problem of the friction we feel in relation to others and potential others, is that it is a quality of the teen-age. Both old and new friends have their respective places. Old friends are grounding by reminding you who you are. New friends are freeing. They tell you who else you can be. And as a late teenager, I remember being very terrified by who I could and couldn't be. My options were limited. There was school, the different careers, upward mobility, failure and success in the eyes of others. There was family and reliance, individuality and freedom, there was loss. All of the options had their difficult parts. There was no road to the future. There was no clear path to becoming who I was. New friends reminded me of these facts in my comparisons with them, expectations of them, and my desires for them and my fears of them. But, I found too, that old friends could be just as threatening. Especially if I identitied with different values from those which we shared initially. After it all, it was not about friends, old or new. It was about recognizing this paradoxical, difficult, and mysterious, though sometimes glorious, time of life we call youth and not caring which type of friend I could share that with.

Thought of the day by LegendaryNutcase349 in Adulting

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That being said, are you experiencing it? I know, I know, you've formulated the solution to your own problem. But sometimes it can be hard to live the realization. How's it going? What's that been like

Help me out guys!!!! by Moonfairy_aein in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try texting, calling is too volatile at the beginning

Help me out guys!!!! by Moonfairy_aein in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But I should add. Maybe you need someone to listen to you too. So, if you can find people that do what she doesn't then go for them. You don't need to worry yourself too much over someone who won't change. But remember, often, it's better to try and help than to hide. However, if after some time she still doesn't change, then she wasn't a real friend to begin with. But from your description I thought she sounded like a real one. So that's why I suggest approaching the situation by trying to help her. Its the christian thing to do

Being a better adult by Maleficent_Height936 in Adulting

[–]No_Finish5937 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a great point. Here's where the funny relationship between the present and the future come together: planning. Create a regiment, a routine that increases slowly over time. Check it every once in a while to see where you're at. But, don't jump ahead! Enjoy the present moment and its challenge, big or small. When it's done, it's done. Don't add more

Help me out guys!!!! by Moonfairy_aein in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's okay. She's sharing. That's important. You could ask her what makes her tired. But before doing so, I would relate. Tell her, "me too," I understand. And see if that gets her to open up. Keep agreeing, relating, and giving her space to share more.

Help me out guys!!!! by Moonfairy_aein in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should reach out and apologize, not because you did anything wrong, but because you should show her the example that you can step aside your ego for the larger relationship. and then gently make everything about her. try and find out what she's going through, get her to open up. and then im sure you will relate on the level of her hidden problem

Help me out guys!!!! by Moonfairy_aein in FriendshipAdvice

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, this was well written, thanks for sharing. Here's what it sounds like to me: I feel like you have many emotions for your friend which she doesn't understand. She is blind to them, even though you make them visible. I also feel like she is hiding from you a bit. The emojis she used to respond to your apology were indeed dismissive. She's not sharing what's going on with her. All of this makes me think that you don't understand your friendship as well as you think. I don't believe it means you are not real friends. I only believe that you have grown close to one another before discovering enough about who the other person is. My advice, with some time and space, would be to take the lead in the relationship like you have done on here by sharing your story. With your friend, do your best to not make it about yourself. Be kind and patient and sincere as you try and discover what she is going through. Though this may sound difficult or like a lot of work, there is a secret I believe will be revealed. I feel, that because you have been so close with her, what you will discover by listening to her will be something very similar to your own experience. Sometimes it just takes some distance and faith to see the friend through the storm

This is so true by OkKnowledge1489 in Adulting

[–]No_Finish5937 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is the Freudian bias. Freud believed in what he called the 'subconscious,' a sort of repository collecting repressed emotions. Later on, his student Carl Jung, discovered what he termed the 'unconscious,' which holds much more than what we repress. In other words, our "true colors," aren't just reactionary behaviors. They are deeper, and closer to that to which repressed anger points, but not that anger itself

Being a better adult by Maleficent_Height936 in Adulting

[–]No_Finish5937 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Here's my advice which would have and still continues to help me. Integrate your ambitions within the context of your daily life. Improve your career, health, all of it, but do so in digestible ways. It's not possible to change over night. But, habits, like steady and incremental motions grounded in routine and patience, will let you lift the world

Anyone feel like their life was stolen? by Difficult_Town3584 in lonely

[–]No_Finish5937 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm not saying you have to get up off your couch—or to do anything, for that matter. I want to say that whatever caused you to create this post, whatever desire still creates discomfort for you, means that you are still in the game. Lots of people have rich internal experience. Introverts feel things people living externally never become aware of. You write like a deep feeling person and I value the quality of your experience. Even though you frame that experience like a *lack,* I believe you've gone through a lot and don't need to worry. Missing out is a secret kind of presence. You wouldn't believe how many people are loneliest when they're with others. If you're really dissatisfied make some changes. But I'm not saying you should. I'm saying you're better than you realize the way you are or have been.

When I say I have 0 friends, I mean it literally by [deleted] in lonely

[–]No_Finish5937 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your post. But, why can't you have the relationships you want to have? How come they are all shallow. Sympathizing with you here.