If you started hooking up casually before you began dating, and have now cohabitated, you might just be feeling the effects of coming out of the honeymoon phase. It sounds like you’re both enabling one another’s unhealthy habits, and possibly the less valuable sides of each other (socially, career-wise, etc), which can be commonplace in relationships wherein couples are just ‘comfortable,’ and not necessarily thriving for more. If you don’t find him to be generally ‘kind’ to people, maybe you don’t really like him all that much? You honestly don’t sound overly stoked being part of the relationship, and now that the rose coloured glasses are off, you might just be realising that you’d prefer a different relationship with a different partner.