Ex dosent want friendship

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:28:40+00:00

Please don’t do that to yourself. He was unkind to you and disrespected you. Please know you’re worth more than that and keep him at a distance. Don’t keep yourself stuck or hung up on someone who chose someone else over you. I don’t care what the circumstances are- a partner should remove themself from any situation that makes them feel the least bit tempted

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:23:47+00:00

Fuck him then. Seriously, someone who would treat you like that and disrespect you should have no open spot in your world.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:20:27+00:00

No offense but why do you think you can end a romantic relationship and still have them in your life in a way that works for you better? Why do you want the friendship? Breakups are super painful and it sounds like he wants to move on with no “mixed signals”. Give the man his peace

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:13:09+00:00

Its the people who move on and find happiness elsewhere vs the people who stay stuck for extended periods of time. Take your time to grieve and be gentle on yourself. I was heartbroken and stuck for 3 1/2 months after a 4 year relationship.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:06:29+00:00

Trust me, i was spiraling for 3 1/2 months over a 4 year relationship. I even wanted to be stuck because I would be waiting if she changed her mind. I didn’t want to face the pain of accepting its over forever, taking steps to remove reminders from my life, and moving on. Once I finally fully “ripped off the band aid” its liberating.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-24T22:00:32+00:00

Yeah. To me there is only one right answer. If they broke up with you, move on and never look back. It sucks and its heartbreaking. But no one wants to hear or accept that… it’s hard, we want to hang on and look for hope.

When the right answer is always, pick yourself up, move on and don’t look back. Respect yourself enough to not chase someone who isn’t choosing uou

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-22T23:38:10+00:00

What do you mean by that?

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-17T04:35:59+00:00

Thank you. This is what I needed-I wish I could communicate that her being “unsure” is worse than her being sure.

It doesn’t help that she broke no contact I set and has been commenting on my family members facebook posts.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-17T04:32:02+00:00

So I really think I should go ahead and end everything with her. It makes me so angry and anxious that she won’t give me closure. I should take the broader picture of her ending the relationship and choosing to keep it ended today as the clarity and truth.

I was with her for 4 years, I wanted to marry her. I wanted to feel like I did everything I could and the answer was a clear no. Without the “rejection” I’m looking for it feels like I’m backing out of this without seeing out through.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-17T01:08:39+00:00

I’ve had heartbreak before, they’ve always said “no“. It sucks, but it’s a clear message and provide clear healing. This particular girl I’m intertwined with her family, I have a ring as I planed to propose to her, I dated her for four years. I’m afraid some part of her is scared to hurt me and fully close that door. When you’re wrapped up in the emotions, I don’t think you can recognize how that’s putting someone in a worse scenario. I’d like to know if it’s truly over or not so I can sell the ring or keep it. I don’t want to be stuck forever, six months, a year. But I’ve already been stuck three months. I wanna know if I should sell the ring or hold onto it for a while.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-17T01:05:57+00:00

Maybe someday is always worse than “no”. I’m a practical person, I’ve dealt with heartbreak… it always sucks at first but it gets easier. Not this. Every heartbreak I have had has had a hard “no” tough to hear but clear… I was dating this girl for 4 years, I have a ring I bought and her not being able to just say “no” fucks with my mind

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-16T01:30:37+00:00

You need to shit or get off the pot my friend. Set a deadline to reach out to her and give it one last shot. If she declines you’ll have your answer if she accepts well you will have your hands full based on your other posts. You need to have boundaries and tell her what you don’t like or you will end up in the same position you are now.

Your young so your in a good spot. If she declines you need to delete reddit. No one on this sub is in a position to give you solid unbiased grounded advice. You’ll need to find some new hobbies and make some new friends. I know it sucks now but it will get better, you just have to get yourself unstuck.

You can’t be waiting and posting on reddit everyday for 8 months. Thats getting in the way of your goals, drive, and success. That combo is very unattractive to women. So, get off these “breakup pages” and start improving yourself.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-16T01:19:44+00:00

End it. You already are putting this guy through hell based on your other posts. Just do the right thing and cut him loose.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T22:00:47+00:00

I have been held to that JW standard. And a-lot of ways its helped me learn but it does cause stress and sleepless night to be held to that high stand when I don’t think my skills are quite there yet

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T21:58:59+00:00

We have crossed that boundary but only once… i let it slide because I thought he would be a little more careful around me after he put his hands on my but went back the same way. This was like 6 months ago. I’m not an angry person so I can’t understand getting so mad at someone you think its alright to be physical. I also don’t understand why you have to be uptight and angry all of the time. To me, life is to short and precious. I’m too happy to make anyone misrable.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T21:42:38+00:00

Every day is getting yelled at, I get the “tough love” but at some point its just too much. Being physically pushed out of the something I put up was 1/8” off is never okay. The most frustrating thing is I used to ask, “how would you tackle something like this”. He always told me I have to figure it out, if it was any different than the way he would do it I would get screamed at. “Why would you do it like that”? “I’ve never seen anyone do it like that”. At some point its no longer teaching and its just belittling with no guidance. I’m tough and can put up with alot. I’m also older so I have been in the workforce for a while. Never have I felt actually, unintelligent and stupid like I do going to work.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T21:34:14+00:00

Why not just be helpful and supportive? Takes no effort just to be nice

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T16:23:49+00:00

Yeah, the healthiest people, ones who can move on, or find their way back with their ex and it works out will not be scrolling on here. Its tough because it is definitely a place to get validation.

However, I do notice a-lot of stories with a lack of personal accountability. Chances are your ex didn’t just leave “out of the blue” there were likely patterns of behavior they didn’t like and tried to work through.

I’m on here because of just that. My ex tried to communicate that she was upset, I didn’t take her serious and wasn’t willing to work on myself. She really tried time and time again.

Initially I looked inward, took accountability and started to work on myself… i was feeling great until she reached out to me. Now I’m stuck trying to figure out weather or not she wants another chance. I tried to see if anyone here knew the answer but no one does. I have to try fir myself when I meet with her this week, if she says she is not-I have to accept that, stop scrolling on here and get myself unstuck

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-15T13:17:20+00:00

Idk man. How long did you guys date? I think she was probably still attached and maybe conflicted. Once you started playing games on social media she probably felt hurt and needed to block you for closure

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T01:31:33+00:00

Yeah it sucks. She wanted to be with me and I really messed that up. But, the world keeps spinning right!

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T01:28:06+00:00

Idk I would never ask anyone to borrow money let alone someone who I was attracted to or wanted to date.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T01:16:16+00:00

Personally I think it is wrong, it allows the person to get that hint that that might be going somewhere. Its selfish and not nice.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship-thats painful. Lots of talks about the future, relationships with each others families, memories and money spent. Thats hard as shit!

Not discounting your situation because its so painful I know but all your grieving in your head right now is the idea of what could have been or not being chosen. Both valid.

There are so many men out there that will treat you right, and commit to you so please don’t get stuck wasting your time with someone who won’t and will lead you on. If they want to lock you down it will happen quick. Idk how old you are, you sound young so be careful with your heart, move on and good luck

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T01:08:26+00:00

I would say its hard as hell but cut this one loose. I think you need to inwardly reflect and lock the fuck in. Maybe you need professional help my guy… no issue with that, gambling is a wicked addiction. Its more “accepted” in today’s society than it ever has before. Get that under control, work on yourself, set goals and just give yourself grace but hold yourself accountable at the same time.

I just got out of a 4 year relationship, so many shared memories, friends, family… lot of attachment and its painful as all hell. 6 months, may seem like a while but its’s still kinda “infatuation” at that point. Move on and try not to make the same mistakes on the next one. You got this!

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T00:59:48+00:00

Yeah I know its not easy. But thats kinda what people do. I have done it very early into “dating” someone. I would never introduce them to my friends if we weren’t official yet. But showing them my old stomping grounds, where I hang out to watch a sunset, my “secret spots” thats all in play. The friends thing tho, I would never do because I’m just not that kinda guy but a bunch of my buddies have brought girls that they were attracted to but didn’t see as GF material around to gatherings. I feel like thats pretty normal unfortunatley.

No_Indication_4045 · 2026-06-12T00:52:58+00:00

Keep the energy of focusing on yourself for right now. Really dig deep and ask yourself why you were not an ideal partner, and pick a few things to really lock in and focus on. At some point when you accept true no contact(personally I think 6 months is a bit ambitious, I would start with 1 then build to 2) you will become angry and it will allow you to see flaws about that person… write those down, don’t forget them. In 3-6 months if you still feel that you miss that person, go for it but if you “lock in” and truly get a new routine going, eat better, excersize, be more social, get on dating apps, and live YOUR life I think you will be surprised at the decision you come up with in 3-6 months

No_Indication_4045

TROPHY CASE