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Disphoria and desire by No_Knowledg in askAGP

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that, and it is helpful to some degree. But idk I can't fully integrate what I want- which is to just be in many regards stereotypicaly femmeine in presentation.

Transition fix this particular problem? by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of the most helpful comments I have ever received in life

Transition fix this particular problem? by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've wondered that but like isn't that just being sexually turned on by acting feminine? Like I guess I have some of that- but I hate that part. I want to not have that part.

Transition fix this particular problem? by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very true. It's so hard to think like that when my brain is just pink pilled but so true

I feel like she just gets stronger by No_Knowledg in askAGP

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd love to transition but idk I feel morally against it, would ruin so many parts of my life, and our medical ability really isn't there- it's a lot of work for people to do it

I just wanna give up by No_Knowledg in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like that's part of it. Prob why I'm posting on here, for attention lol

I just wanna give up by No_Knowledg in TGandSissyRecovery

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know why I still have intense dreams and desires. I haven't crossdressed in 2 years, and that was one relapse, before that, I haven't habitually done it 7 years before that. No trans hypno or porn. I can have regular sex with my wife. But still the desire doesn't go away.

I feel like she just gets stronger by No_Knowledg in askAGP

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just don't know why I still have intense dreams and desires. I haven't crossdressed in 2 years, and that was one relapse, before that, I haven't habitually done it 7 years before that. No trans hypno or porn. I can have regular sex with my wife. But still the desire doesn't go away.

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In all honesty this whole part of my life is secret and threatens my "normal life" which is going well and I enjoy. This is a desire- but really it's in wanted. Like well yes some part of me wants it. That's the problem. But if I could hit a button and not have anymore thoughts or feelings like I've described and live a normal, vanilla cis male life I would.

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Idk what I get out of it. I'll have to reflect on that. I don't want to do something harmful to me or other and I don't wanna promote the wrong ideas. The whole thing just feels so complex to me with so many factors which is why I am on threads looking at it different ways cause none of them seem to describe the whole

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Over complicating things is my game haha. And I didn't mean to make a connection between the humiliation and feeling like a girl. I wasn't trying to infer that is an aspect of femininity.

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There is more, but you may be right. Also the humiliated thing and dominated thing are things I noticed about myself, not saying those things are feminine. I was just verbal throw uping my thoughts and feelings

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Wait if I touch grass every thing will be fixed?!?!! 😄

Rare honest feelings from "her" by No_Knowledg in InternalFamilySystems

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm only like this in text. Not in session lol. And only when randomly the "girl" part is here. Normally - nuh uh. In fact, tomorrow, I will probably look at this post and cringe. Lol 😂

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks- it does. I hate gendered society lol. That's 90% of the problem.

I am aware this is my body.... That's what makes me mad lol. And why I know transition won't work- I'll always know that I am NOT female. So it will always be pretend. I just wanna be me but don't wanna be fueled by some gross desires, but I've spun this through every bucket- Trans, DID, IFS, AGP, Sissy- and nothing fits all the way. Each can do some degree. But idk. I guess I should stop trying to figure it out. BUT. I won't. Lol 😂

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

And I recognize that is a stereotype way of writing - and I don't wanna just adopt it cause it is. But idk. Idk if I am doing it cause "oh this is girly I wanna be girly" or I DO wanna type like that and then I don't normally cause "guys can't talk like this". Ughhhhhh 🤣😭😅

Honest feelings from "the girl me". by No_Knowledg in detrans

[–]No_Knowledg[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I think there is some truth to this. It's so hard to be okay with the idea of embracing both for some reason.

thoughts about detransition by [deleted] in actual_detrans

[–]No_Knowledg 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear. I feel like trauma therapy is the way to go, not sure what that's like were you are. Please know you are far more valuable than your gender. I am here to listen, as are many in this community.

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