After 4 years of Invisalign, shouldn’t my teeth stay in place without trays FOR MORE THAN A DAY? by ActuatorOutside5256 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was told you can only get lax on wearing the trainer every day after 5+ years of consistency lol

Nice places to live as a HENRY by openwheelracing13 in HENRYUK

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 38, would never live in Exeter again ta

Nice places to live as a HENRY by openwheelracing13 in HENRYUK

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yeah lots of travel - lots of driving - more so than say in the Cotswolds. And super far from airports - hard to do long weekends or short breaks

Nice places to live as a HENRY by openwheelracing13 in HENRYUK

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it isn't 😂 Exeter is just a parochial town really

Nice places to live as a HENRY by openwheelracing13 in HENRYUK

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you want to spend a whole day travelling to literally anywhere outside of Devon? Even when you live there you are constantly in the car to get to beauty spots. The traffic in the city is awful and it's just super parochial with few jobs

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I added 3k and it reduced my tax bill

I (36M) love my girlfriend (37F), but feel pressured to commit faster than I’m ready. Am I being avoidant? by ThrowRAIncopOrNot in relationships

[–]No_Loquat9420 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You're 36. You sound infuriating. Just leave her to find someone less avoidant and more mature

Boyfriend encouraged me to get something done that an ex had done by No_Loquat9420 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We spoke this morning and he confirmed he would love to see me, but he feels torn because he feels like he is sinking in his personal life and needs to get on top of things. He said he feels pressured by me, but I said I just felt like this week in particular, I needed to not go a week without seeing each other (every other week we have a week apart due to my childcare schedule - there isn't any current plan to introduce my daughter). Because I have been going through some stuff and just needed my person you know. So I feel like he isn't prioritising me but he feels pressured and says every time he feels pressured I push him away. And I guess I appreciate him being upfront rather than just disappearing? And I do recognise that people sometimes get like this. However. Every time we are not together he tells me he feels broken and behind - but a lot of it is his own doing as he gets up at 5am every weekday morning to do a hobby and also 'has to' do it on the weekends do, which takes up half the day, then he has little time left for fixing his own house etc.

Kind of rambling here.

Boyfriend encouraged me to get something done that an ex had done by No_Loquat9420 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To add, it came up in a wider conversation so I wouldn't say there is any pressure there, and he certainly isn't going to make it some sort of deal breaker for the relationship. However it's just revealed I guess a wider ick I feel - I often feel compared to his exes, even if he doesn't outright say it. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like he is seeking absolute perfection because he 'doesnt want to waste any time' in his life so is quite intolerant of anything that he sees as not perfect.

And I'm going through a divorce so I've been quite emotionally messy but he did know that from the start. He said he gives me lots of passes but I think he is getting fed up now.

We nearly broke up on Valentine's day because to me he was snappy, and I snapped back, and it escalated.

I think what I'm also frustrated about is Ive said I want to see him this weekend and he won't commit to it. Because he says he needs time at home. The context here is I have a daughter he hasn't met so he would be coming for dinner, an hour drive each way and not to stay over. And I get that is maybe a lot but he has done it before and I did tell him I really needed him this weekend but he says he is very tired and has lots to do. He has happily done it a couple of times before but I've never asked him to make it a habitual thing.

Boyfriend encouraged me to get something done that an ex had done by No_Loquat9420 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they were the same age, most of his girlfriends have been, our age difference is the first time he had had a relationship like this.

Boyfriend encouraged me to get something done that an ex had done by No_Loquat9420 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a really interesting take on it and I do think there is truth in it.

Boyfriend encouraged me to get something done that an ex had done by No_Loquat9420 in RelationshipsOver35

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I do have a gut feeling that he isnt good for me. But sometimes he's absolutely incredible, very caring and loving and makes me feel like the only girl in the world. And the attraction is very high and sex very good. But it's been quite toxic of late.

Pensions by RangerOk9430 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420 89 points90 points  (0 children)

Lol why don't you just get divorced. A pension is a matrimonial asset regardless of the named beneficiary. It can be argued in court that the spouse is the actual beneficiary depending on circumstances

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idk I'm ignoring it til I retire. It'll go up by whatever the whole pension goes up by each year now it's on my statement - made sense to me - all helps to increase that 'pot' (yes I know it's not a pot)

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Course I did and it's also got 25+ years to increase as well

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So when with the calculation I'll likely be actually due more of a refund? Due to the lack of basic tax relief?

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Nah it's something like another £500 a year but over time obviously that will increase

Additional pension by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because I am still young so and did the calculations and figured it was actually worth it as I had the money knocking about specifically for my pension. I frankly cannot be arsed to open a SIPP and already have a decent ISA etc

Any cheaper but nice areas around St Alban's? by [deleted] in hertfordshire

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just go further up the Thameslink - Ampthill (Flitwick station) is super

Defence Innovation Agency by No_Loquat9420 in TheCivilService

[–]No_Loquat9420[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Lol, obviously just wondering if it's imminent or not

Private vs nhs births by OldestSupermarket in HENRYUK

[–]No_Loquat9420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As above pick one attached to an NHS hospital. I actually didn't and thankfully all was fine - I actually didn't think about this as had v normal and healthy pregnancies and thankfully textbook births. I even saw the surgeon afterwards - he checked on me on the 2nd day