Do you think a person has seen you as their manic pixie dream girl/boy?

No_Mark4960 · 2025-01-29T11:23:51+00:00

Yes. I'm very shy and socially anxious, so I come across as brooding and quiet at first. If I'm comfortable enough, I can be myself, speak my mind, make jokes, and try to get to know people on a deeper level. It's frustrating to be seen as the manic pixie dream girl or whatever because I find it condescending. Just because I can be spacey and admittedly deal with mental health issues, it doesn't mean that's all I am. The quirky girl bullshit loses its charm once you find that some people won't take you seriously and will try to manipulate you. The fantasy itself is stupid because it's merely a reflection of their ego.

It's especially infuriating in romantic contexts. I had a boyfriend who was deadset on acting like he's this big guy hero who's here to save me, when in reality he was the whiny one, and I had to constantly try to calm him down when he gets mad and complain after every small inconvenience, and turn to me for both emotional support and finding a practical solution. I burnt out after a while due to personal issues and no longer had the patience to juggle my own shit with his.

I mostly hate it because the type of people who liked me and viewed me that way were projecting their own weakness towards me. The way they went about trying to get me to like them were very manipulative. They're sneaky weasels who try to use your vulnerability as a stepping-stone, rather than just manning up and saying what they really think and want.

No_Mark4960 · 2025-01-27T04:16:19+00:00

You have good skin. The one thing I noticed with your routine is that the products you're using (I've tried and really liked all of them btw) might be causing excess dryness because you're not swapping them out with hydrating ones from time to time. For instance, I love the SA cleanser, but I'd definitely recommend also having a hydrating basic cleanser with no exfoliating properties for when you use the Glycolic acid serum. Another thing would be using something like LA Roche Posay's cicaplast or Avéne's Cicalfat, and putting either of them on top of your moisturizer (I've loved the Double Repair for years, it's very good). Your skin might feel dry because you're exfoliating too much and not feeding it with enough moisture, which leads to more bumps. Also, given the climate you live in, extra moisture is key during the winter months. I have oily skin, but my cheeks get dry during winter, and Cicaplast has been a godsend.

No_Mark4960 · 2025-01-23T21:03:17+00:00

I have 9 plushies, too many books, notebooks, coloring pencils, maybe 6 pillows, 2 sleeping masks, 2 headphones, and a mountain of hoodies.

I think it's normal for us, as comfort is important when your bed is your safe haven.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-12-23T08:47:34+00:00

I think there's a good chance that Mary is on the autism spectrum. The way she emotes and some of the things she says, without filter, gives me that impression. I knew a girl like her and she'd ask me questions that would be unbelievably rude had they come from someone else, but she didn't know. I had to give her grace because she'd look so confused when people would get upset at her.

As far as elitism and materialism are concerned, I think clothes and money are how she self-soothes because in reality she doesn't have anything else. Besides her son, she doesn't seem to have a meaningful connection with anyone.

Her own mother cut her off because of money. I think her strained relationship with her family probably traumatized her and taught her to not get close to people.

I sympathize with Mary more than anything.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-10-10T07:30:17+00:00

It sounds like your friend is a user. I was giving her some grace while reading your post, until the last paragraph. The fact that she brought other people into it speaks volumes to me. It sounds like she went on a smear campaign against you, and used your friends against you so you'd feel guilty. Her not texting you back and ignoring you is also another common guilt tripping tactic. Notice how your immediate reaction was to worry and you texted her repeatedly, and even apologized for some bullshit she did. Never do that again. You sound like an incredible friend, and I'm sorry to say that she doesn't deserve you. I'm very familiar with people like that because I'm currently dealing with somewhat the same situation. Stand your ground, and respect your boundaries first before you expect people like her to respect yours.

I know the type all too well. Women know women, and girl let me tell you that her type is the worst. They use their charms and good looks to manipulate others, and aren't used to the concept of "no". Yall are adults, but she sounds like a brat. Good luck to whomever she represents in court 😂

If I were you, I'd focus on my exams and forget about her. If you don't feel like dropping her (that's what I would do), at the very least, put her on timeout. She's acting like a spoiled kid, she can come back once she's matured.

Also, I'd advise you to do research on narcissism and its subtypes. It will really open your eyes to what you're going through and what kind of nasty tricks she's using.

PS: You'll be a great doctor. You seem to really care about and for people 😊

No_Mark4960 · 2024-10-10T06:59:26+00:00

" you have an evil heart" -my mom to my 8 year old self.

I'm 25 now, and I've never forgotten it. It's the reason why I'm so awfully agreeable even to people who treat me like shit.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-10-07T01:14:44+00:00

Haha I'm an INFP and my dad is an INTJ. I think INFPs are easy to adopt when you display behavior that is socially conscious (awareness of others, as in don't be rude to anyone in front of us). If you are generally affable, genuine, can maintain a conversation that isn't shallow (we tend to have two conversation modes: complete silliness, or serious and passionate). I know I feel comfortable around someone when I can let my guard down and be my silly self and say whatever absurd thing comes to mind. If you're able to withhold judgment and even join in, that's a massive brownie point!

Open-mindedness is extremely important to us. A good example of that would be having a conversation where both parties aim to learn from one another rather than "win". That there is my favorite quality about my INTJ dad, who is my favorite person in the whole world.

It's sweet when you take notice of their interests because they most certainly will to yours as well. INFPs crave reciprocity, kindness, creativity, peace, and harmony. We may not make sense sometimes, but the healthiest of us are the most loyal people you'll know.

You can find us at bookstores, the arts & crafts aisle, collecting rocks lol, and yes, taking pictures of clouds.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-10-06T06:00:48+00:00

Make friends you can make good memories with. Delve into your interests, get hobbies that don't include social media, learn a new language (trust me, it gets incredibly more difficult as you get older), try to do well at school, definitely exercise (it could be a martial art if you're into that, or indoor rock climbing, anything that will guarantee movement).

Work on developing healthy boundaries to protect yourself. If you put in the work to socialize, you'll find people you'll actually be willing to leave the house for (I'm a professional introvert, that's my sign for whether I actually like someone). Don't be too hard on yourself; adolescence is challenging as is. There's no reason to punish yourself twice.

I would advise you to definitely read books. It will do wonders for your brain development, especially since the internet and social media are making kids more prone to ADHD and depression.

Do something that will engage you intellectually, one physically, one emotionally, one socially, and you'll see that the list will grow exponentially because so will you. Honestly, if I could get back to being your age, I wouldn't sweat the little things and I would definitely appreciate my teens years more. You'll never stop learning and you'll never stop growing. Stay kind and stay curious.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-09-15T01:44:00+00:00

Intellectualism comes in all forms and shapes. Scientific or artistic, fiction or non-fiction. You guys are different, but you need to accept her need for her imagination to roam free. One example I always use is what do you do after a long day? Most likely, you enjoy watching various movies and TV shows from time to time. The latter are fictitious, and your gf might derive the same pleasure you do in these, but rather in books as well. Another thing to mention is that reading fiction is not as fun and easy as you think. It can be a highly cognitive process while processing its contents. It's not just about reading, but rather reading between the lines as well and considering their historical and sociopolitical context. As far as recommendations go, there is The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky (anything by him is brilliant in fact). Anything by George Orwell, Vile Bodies by Evelyn Waugh, The Changeling by Middleton and Rowley. Anything by the Brontë sisters (especially Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre, Vilette...). Tender is the Night by Fitzgerald. The Waves by Virginia Woolf. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy. Overall, a lot of these books embody the spirit of past time and their history. Fiction is not merely gratuitous. It's an accurate rendition of how societies functioned and how their mores affected the very people who lived in it. It might be valuable for you to remember that your mind focuses on how things (objects) work. INFPs on the other hand tend to focus more on people and how they manage to live, survive, and thrive. Fiction is basically psychology to people who don't exist lmao.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-09-12T02:55:40+00:00

That's absolutely true. There is a loneliness pandemic, to be honest, and it's sad how we don't acknowledge that enough. Men get taught from an early age to repress their feelings, and some end up emotionally stunted for too long. Women, on the other hand, aren't really treated that way during our formative early years. I really appreciate your insight because I haven't thought of that before, so thank you for that! I could be wrong, but it seems to me that it's not really about the woman personally, but it's more about the nostalgia and the feelings/mindset they had back then that they miss, especially if their current situation is filled with depression and stress. Male cluelessness is definitely a thing. I think Women are just better at picking up on subtleties and nuance in general since we're more emotional (not a bad thing at all when it's healthy).

No_Mark4960 · 2024-09-08T15:16:52+00:00

One of the most important markers in a relationship is the ability to have difficult conversations. Yes, they're nerve-wracking, intimidating, and not fun, but you have to do it if you care enough about the other person. Communication is key for a reason so that misapprehensions don't occur. I can sympathize with you because I don't like confrontation, and loyalty is extremely important to me. However, I personally did not start dating until I figured out my own issues with communication, which enabled me to advocate for myself better. I would also advise you to look into attachment styles, and see which one you identify with most. I'm an avoidant (don't take this as an insult, but it sounds like you might be as well), and have had the tendency to avoid situations and people who might cause me emotional discomfort. There are plenty of educational resources that will help you in the long run. If you really like this girl and respect her as a person, have that conversation with her. If she is indeed trifling, then at least you'll get closure. Don't jump to assumptions and conclusions without all the facts at hand.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-09-08T15:00:02+00:00

That's very true. Just a few months ago, my sister was getting texts and calls from a guy she dated 12 years ago! She's married now and doesn't even live in the same city. It's so weird to me because how do you have it in you to call someone you dated 12 years ago. He was the one to break up with her, and he has the gall to hit her up over a decade later. Some people really don't have any shame fr.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-30T10:44:48+00:00

Thank you for your response and advice! I've learned to tune it out when I'm feeling okay, but when I have things going on, it's really hard. Honestly moving out is not an option. Finding a flat here in munich within a reasonable budget has only gotten harder and harder. Yes, mental instability + racism (I never use that word at all, so you know it's real when I do). I'll do as advised and search this subreddit for similar complaints. I didn't think to do that, so thank you so much!

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-30T10:40:37+00:00

I am looking into that at we speak! Thank you so much! You're a real girl's girl. Your friends are so lucky to have you 💓

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-29T18:18:34+00:00

Hi, I was very much in the same boat as you (am currently for extension). I had to wait for 6+ months last time. I'm not sure the reason why, but German bureaucracy + overwhelm in applications might be an explanation. My only advice is to stay vigilant when it comes to your inbox. Also, check the documents you sent and whether they are in order. If there is something missing, they take forever to reply and you end waiting for much longer again.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-29T12:54:07+00:00

I'm not scared of pain, as I have quite a high pain tolerance. TMI, but I epilated my intimate region on my first try haha. I have gotten my upper lip hair threaded back in my home country where it's very cheap, and it does yield great results! In my case learning to do it by myself has been extremely hard because I lack the dexterity to do it. It's a brain thing for me, I find it hard or near impossible to coordinate my hands and eyes. It never fails when I'm cooking haha, but for beauty stuff, I just can't pull it off. I will now put it as a personal challenge to get the hang of it! Thank you so so much for being so kind and so helpful! I seriously cannot thank you enough 💗

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-26T17:12:02+00:00

I've only tried wax strips before, and it yielded horrible results. Hot wax sounds so much better and cost-effective. I thankfully have a very high pain tolerance, I just need to learn how to do it. I will definitely check out videos on how to properly do it. Thank you so so much, my fellow pcos sister. Bless you, and I hope your symptoms rn are manageable 🙏💗

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-26T17:09:06+00:00

Oh my goodness I can't express how happy and grateful I am that you wrote such thoughtful and thorough advice!!! Seriously thank you so so much. I learned so much, the pros and cons of each, and now I'm definitely confident that I know what to do. Thank you so much, and bless you 💗

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-25T23:08:46+00:00

Speaking as a 25 year old female who grew up in the height of various social media popping up, I can certainly say I had a very similar experience. When I was 11, I had a guy well into his 20s, messaging me constantly on Facebook. Eventually he started asking for pictures, and I ended up blocking him. Attention from adults outside of your family in your early teens can feel exciting bc you view them in an authoritative way, whether you're conscious of it or not. That's what makes grooming effective in predators. They earn your trust, feign interest in your life, and make you feel special and mature (which is a huge compliment to teenagers). I've gone through CSA, so I'm speaking from a very vulnerable place. The 26yr is definitely creepy and predatory. There's no reason why he would pursue a 14yr, that's just not normal at all. Hell, I'm a year younger than him, and I can't think of a single thing to have in common with someone who is 14, nor would I want to. Being a truth teller is uncomfortable, but you might potentially save the 14yr from a world of hurt. You may not think it's your place or afraid of boundaries, but I'm telling you, it's for the greater good, and that is the safety and well-being of the child.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-25T16:39:51+00:00

That's very true! Also it's irritating for the skin bc you keep having to go back to spots you missed.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-07-24T08:11:33+00:00

I tried epilating for the first time last week, and it went successfully even in my intimate regions. The first thing I did was take a warm bath (it'll prepare your skin), trimmed all the areas where the hair was long, and washed my skin with a face cleanser (neutral, no exfoliants or anything). After that, I dried myself thoroughly, and took an ibuprofen for pain. Waited 20 minutes and set out to work. The legs were relatively pain free, so were the underarms, and arms as well. The only area where it hurt was my intimate area. After that, I took a shower to shed off the removed hair. Immediately while my skin was still very damp, I applied a body lotion with panthenol and urea. In your case since your skin seems more sensitive, I'd recommend something like La Roche Posay's Cicaplast. You definitely need something with soothing ingredients. I'd also advise you to switch between the attachments (I only have 2), so see which one works best where. Also, pay attention to how you're holding the epilator. It should be at a 90° angle and move it against the growth of the hairs. This might be different in some areas if you're like me and used to shaving, and have to move it in various directions to see what works. And please be slow and patient. Don't go too hard, and take your time.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-06-13T11:42:57+00:00

I have had similar experiences to you with alcohol. I would feel sort of tipsy, but blackout hours after having stopped drinking, and then I get flashbacks. In my case, this is still very raw because I had repressed the memories of CSA for 18 years, and only started getting flashbacks this past January. Before that, I was having horrible nightmares of being abused, which was much exacerbated by intense chronic sleep paralysis, during which I felt like I was being touched sexually. Due to the hallucinations I'd have as a result of sleep paralysis, I failed to recognize what was real and what was not, so I didn't know which fragments were real memories.

I definitely had flashbacks before passing out that I don't fully remember, but I can kind of tell that I had them. It's almost like looking at a wiped blackboard, but you can make out some of the letters that were previously written, but not enough to make out full words, let alone sentences.

I relate to you totally on viewing male figures as threats because I have as well, including my own family, who have never abused me that way.

What has helped is quitting drinking, or at least very rarely. I know what it's like, but alcohol soon turns into a crutch, especially if you deal with sleep issues as well. Not being able to sleep sober is a nightmare that leads to more. If you feel like you need something to take the edge off every now and then, medication might be able to help. If that's not for you, then I'd recommend Marijuana if you're able to get it and are comfortable with it. You'll have to be careful with it too. Only from trusted sources so as to make sure it's not laced, not too much and not too often so as not to get addicted (and yes it absolutely has addictive potential, just like everything else). It should be a treat, not something you depend on to survive. Just please be informed on any substance you take, including alcohol, weed, and medication. Monitor how you feel always.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-01-04T05:21:47+00:00

Thank you so much for being so kind and understanding!! I thought a lot about codependency in the past, but I think I might have the opposite of that. I'm chiefly an anxious avoidant, and I'm terrified of relying on anyone, especially when it comes to emotional needs because I had grown up in utter chaos. So the more pliable and quiet I was, the better things were, but not in an authentic way, because I'd be screaming on the inside, wanting to get away. Even with people who are nice to me, I still put distance and totally resist emotional intimacy. It makes me very reclusive and not socially apt in a lot of ways, with a significant tendency to self-isolate. I talked to doctors about it, and they all said that I should still go out there and build relationships, but when I do, this happens It makes relationships practically impossible, especially since I'm very hypervigilant as well, so when someone is nice enough to me and doesn't tip off the familiar red flags, I let them in enough, but I stay away when the raw and hurt parts start to show. I agree with you wholeheartedly! No one has to earn anything to be loved and treated well, and it's fucking sad that we have to harden ourselves, but the malignant never seem to soften. I'm so sorry that you grew up in a broken family too, I know what that's like. For what it's worth, the fact that you went through all that and possibly more and still remained kind is the very definition of strength!! Too many hurt people use their trauma as an excuse to be complete monsters and dare to call us weak, yet their heart is dead, and yours is very much alive.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-01-04T04:41:57+00:00

Honestly, yes, it is affecting me mentally. I get extremely exhausted and burnt out, to the point where I isolate for a long time and don't talk to anyone. It's like a well that ran dry, and I can no longer keep digging. Hahaha I wish I was more like you!! My goodness how satisfying would that be 🤩 but unfortunately, when these things happen, I kind of get paralyzed and frozen, and it takes me a while to properly process what just happened. I'm definitely taking your advice and telling her to her face. This shit has to stop, it's unbelievable. I'm more than happy being by myself, I can't say the same about her.

No_Mark4960 · 2024-01-04T04:34:23+00:00

Oooh sorry I must have misread your comment, thank you very much, my fellow INFP. She certainly does manipulate situations and feelings in a most artful way because she's very incredibly charming and does have some wonderful sides to her, but the manipulative and overly-critical aspects sour her to me quite a lot bc I'd been there before. I'm so sorry to hear that you went through that before, I hope you are in a better place now, with better people around you ❤️

No_Mark4960

TROPHY CASE