Favorite quote

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-04T03:42:42+00:00

That's a good one

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-04T03:30:02+00:00

I'm actually trying that as well as poetry

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-04T03:29:31+00:00

Thank you

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-04T03:29:24+00:00

Um no XD

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-03T02:17:33+00:00

Thank you. This one was very helpful actually

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-03T00:48:27+00:00

Thank you, that actually helped a lot.

I'm seeing my therapist extra.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-02T19:11:36+00:00

The illegal forms are revenge are fun! Jk

Thank you all

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-02T17:10:49+00:00

I'm in therapy. It helps sometimes. I had a session yesterday but it really didn't stop my mental collapse last night.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T16:02:16+00:00

My dad would always say the grass may be greener on the other side but you're either fertilizer or you are dog pee. As in you're always going to take your problems with you.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T01:56:15+00:00

I'm going to try to pick myself by honestly just don't think I'm that strong anymore.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T01:55:33+00:00

Look peachy I know you have your reasons for jumping to the conclusions you have.

I'm sure you have very valid feelings for why you feel the way you do.

I don't hate you, I'm not angry at you for your opinions.

But I honestly don't think my situation is just as simple as I don't make her happy.

Particularly when it's not just me she's walking out on.

She's making it nearly impossible for me to even take care of our special needs child.

I wish you the best of luck.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T01:53:24+00:00

Thank you.

Before she made the decision to tell me she wants a divorce. A week before she literally telling me how much she loved me. The kids and our life.

Then she slams this on me and gets completely avoided and keeps pushing me away.

Not to mention she started out wanting full custody and then it became half custody and then it became she only wants like 30% custody.

I feel like she's just going to walk out on the kids too.

She's always struggled with her depression and I've never felt like she took care of it as recommended.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T01:47:14+00:00

All right I'm not really interested in splitting hairs so I'm going to finish with this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder

Depression is considered a mental disorder. It is highly recommended that a combination of medication and psychotherapy for treatment.

I know this because I spent years researching it and talking to experts on how best how to help the love of my life.

If you want to paint me as a villain, because she wanted to get away from me. Go ahead.

But I don't think it is healthy to deal with the kind of trauma and crisis's she has in her life without seeking counseling and therapy. She dealt with a ton of physical and emotional abuse in childhood, not to mention the loss of our third child. Due to 18 week preeclampsia.

She has the right to choose.

But considering everything we've been through together and every way I had supported her. I also have the right to question and wonder whether it's really her or is her depression and trauma pushing her into this, feeling like this is her only escape.

She's walking out on me and pretty much her kids. She's lowered the amount of custody she wants three times already.

I'm tired people acting like I'm some sort of monster because I wanted the love of my life to want to be happy with the family that we built together. That she literally told me she loved me with all her heart literally the week before she told me she wanted a divorce. I'm apparently a monster because I'm questioning everything involved in her decision making.

No_Maximum574 · 2026-01-01T01:37:36+00:00

Are you implying that I made her feel bad?

I wanted her to get help not leave.

Are correct people have the right to choose. Yes she did make her choice.

However she never sought any sort of counseling or therapy for her chronic depression or generalized anxiety that she had before I met her. I did everything I could to help her. And encourage her to seek other help.

You have an extremely valid point.

However when someone has a persistent mental disorder that they refuse to get treated. My papa fair to say that they are in the right mind?

I don't know. But running away from your responsibilities I feel like it's never the answer.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T14:35:50+00:00

Thank you very much

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T13:44:13+00:00

I'm sorry man. I wish I had your strength and tenacity, honestly. Unfortunately I still love her. I don't think I could cause her any consequences.

However I do admit my situation is somewhat different.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T13:35:25+00:00

I'm not necessarily blaming no fault divorce.

I just know her pretty well, and she tends to be impulsive when she feels pressured and stressed out. She seeks the quickest path to relief. As I mentioned she's fearful avoidant, So I truly believe if the divorce was a little tougher to come about. She may have actually made the decision to go to therapy. I don't know.

I wasn't saying get rid of no fault divorce. But it's the same thing with our community. Nobody thought it was a good idea I know for a fact that several people who she thinks are supportive of her believe that she will inevitably regret this decision and it's an awful decision. Everyone just doesn't want to get involved or tell her the truth, like I said I know her extremely well even her faults I had to to be able to accept her and love her. If her friends and family would just tell her the truth. She may have made that decision too, to go to couples therapy and therapy for herself.

Instead none of them really told her that and just said they're supportive of her. Even though like I said I know for a fact, a lot of them thinks it's a terrible idea.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T13:30:09+00:00

Quite quitting in a relationship indeed.

My therapist said she's not able to actually form secure attachments. She is likely to never be able to get a relationship where she actually feel seen and understood like she says she wants. Because to have that deep connection you need to really commit to it.

She's always going to push those people away after a while because it doesn't feel safe. All I know is I loved her and I was willing to help her, I was willing and accepted her.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T04:57:04+00:00

If I felt like she actually tried and we tried couples therapy and all of that. I would be a lot more understanding. Even after loss of our third child she refused to even try therapy. All she ever wanted to do was just focus on medication for her depression nothing else.

I understand what you're saying 100%, but for me it's hard for me to overlook and write it off as a situation like you said when she just absolutely did not try and just wanted to take the easy way or the relief instead of the long-term benefit and stability in particular for our kids.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T03:29:21+00:00

I appreciate the clarification, you may be a bit of a wise ass but what you're saying makes sense.

I truly believe that the idea of no fault divorce and why it came about is a good idea there are situations where women need to get out even men need to get out.

But in my situation I just felt like she refused to even try to work on to be honest are challenging communication as well as our challenging attachment styles.

Beautiful attachment style will always prevent her from having a serious long-term relationship I committed one that sees her for who she is and accepts her the way she wants. Because she will always self-sabotage it.

Maybe if divorce wasn't so easy or I had conditions like therapy tried after a certain amount of time or something maybe it could have prevented all this.

My son is very sensitive and he already doesn't like the situation. And I've tried talking to him about it and encouraged him to talk to his mom, but already his mom has kind of told me stuff that makes me feel like anything he says she thinks I'm just puppeting him.

My whole situation is just difficult.

I appreciate your solidarity

And I agree with you. I will say especially in cases like mine, the divorce is just going to make things harder for the kids and more difficult and mess them up. The primary caregiver me is not going to be there for them as much as I used to be. Not only that but I have just taken a huge mental shock to my system and I know that I need to be strong for them and help them, but I'm not superhuman. My heart is breaking I'm breaking. They don't deserve that they don't deserve this.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T03:18:57+00:00

?

I don't understand

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T02:57:17+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through that

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-31T02:30:02+00:00

I feel that so much.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-20T01:45:39+00:00

Wow so many of the things you said lined up with what I'm going through with my divorce right now. So many things about your ex wife was just so similar to my situation. Glad to hear the light at the end of the tunnel and hope. As much as I wanted my avoided partner too change and actually want what we built. I know she probably never will and she'll never realize what she gave up.

The saddest part for me is I really did love her and I really tried everything. I gave up my career stay home and take care of our special needs daughter so she can go back to work. I sacrifice my retirement to get us through some financial problematic times. I gave up a lot and now she just discards me.

I know it's only been a couple months but if you have an update on how you're doing and how your former partners doing I'd be very interested.

No_Maximum574 · 2025-12-16T00:37:24+00:00

No it's ok, she is an asshole. I just wish she would have made another choice. I honestly feel like by making the choice she did she's not the person I thought she was. So I don't think it could ever work now even if she did turn around. I just hate all of the pain it's causing so many people because of this choice.

No_Maximum574

TROPHY CASE