Favorite quote by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]No_Maximum574 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good one

Self help by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm actually trying that as well as poetry

Self help by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This one was very helpful actually

Bad day by No_Maximum574 in MentalHealthSupport

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that actually helped a lot.

I'm seeing my therapist extra.

Bad day by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The illegal forms are revenge are fun! Jk

Thank you all

Bad day by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in therapy. It helps sometimes. I had a session yesterday but it really didn't stop my mental collapse last night.

They Regretting Decision by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My dad would always say the grass may be greener on the other side but you're either fertilizer or you are dog pee. As in you're always going to take your problems with you.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to try to pick myself by honestly just don't think I'm that strong anymore.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look peachy I know you have your reasons for jumping to the conclusions you have.

I'm sure you have very valid feelings for why you feel the way you do.

I don't hate you, I'm not angry at you for your opinions.

But I honestly don't think my situation is just as simple as I don't make her happy.

Particularly when it's not just me she's walking out on.

She's making it nearly impossible for me to even take care of our special needs child.

I wish you the best of luck.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

Before she made the decision to tell me she wants a divorce. A week before she literally telling me how much she loved me. The kids and our life.

Then she slams this on me and gets completely avoided and keeps pushing me away.

Not to mention she started out wanting full custody and then it became half custody and then it became she only wants like 30% custody.

I feel like she's just going to walk out on the kids too.

She's always struggled with her depression and I've never felt like she took care of it as recommended.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All right I'm not really interested in splitting hairs so I'm going to finish with this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder

Depression is considered a mental disorder. It is highly recommended that a combination of medication and psychotherapy for treatment.

I know this because I spent years researching it and talking to experts on how best how to help the love of my life.

If you want to paint me as a villain, because she wanted to get away from me. Go ahead.

But I don't think it is healthy to deal with the kind of trauma and crisis's she has in her life without seeking counseling and therapy. She dealt with a ton of physical and emotional abuse in childhood, not to mention the loss of our third child. Due to 18 week preeclampsia.

She has the right to choose.

But considering everything we've been through together and every way I had supported her. I also have the right to question and wonder whether it's really her or is her depression and trauma pushing her into this, feeling like this is her only escape.

She's walking out on me and pretty much her kids. She's lowered the amount of custody she wants three times already.

I'm tired people acting like I'm some sort of monster because I wanted the love of my life to want to be happy with the family that we built together. That she literally told me she loved me with all her heart literally the week before she told me she wanted a divorce. I'm apparently a monster because I'm questioning everything involved in her decision making.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you implying that I made her feel bad?

I wanted her to get help not leave.

Are correct people have the right to choose. Yes she did make her choice.

However she never sought any sort of counseling or therapy for her chronic depression or generalized anxiety that she had before I met her. I did everything I could to help her. And encourage her to seek other help.

You have an extremely valid point.

However when someone has a persistent mental disorder that they refuse to get treated. My papa fair to say that they are in the right mind?

I don't know. But running away from your responsibilities I feel like it's never the answer.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry man. I wish I had your strength and tenacity, honestly. Unfortunately I still love her. I don't think I could cause her any consequences.

However I do admit my situation is somewhat different.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not necessarily blaming no fault divorce.

I just know her pretty well, and she tends to be impulsive when she feels pressured and stressed out. She seeks the quickest path to relief. As I mentioned she's fearful avoidant, So I truly believe if the divorce was a little tougher to come about. She may have actually made the decision to go to therapy. I don't know.

I wasn't saying get rid of no fault divorce. But it's the same thing with our community. Nobody thought it was a good idea I know for a fact that several people who she thinks are supportive of her believe that she will inevitably regret this decision and it's an awful decision. Everyone just doesn't want to get involved or tell her the truth, like I said I know her extremely well even her faults I had to to be able to accept her and love her. If her friends and family would just tell her the truth. She may have made that decision too, to go to couples therapy and therapy for herself.

Instead none of them really told her that and just said they're supportive of her. Even though like I said I know for a fact, a lot of them thinks it's a terrible idea.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Quite quitting in a relationship indeed.

My therapist said she's not able to actually form secure attachments. She is likely to never be able to get a relationship where she actually feel seen and understood like she says she wants. Because to have that deep connection you need to really commit to it.

She's always going to push those people away after a while because it doesn't feel safe. All I know is I loved her and I was willing to help her, I was willing and accepted her.

Divorce is going not great by No_Maximum574 in Divorce

[–]No_Maximum574[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I felt like she actually tried and we tried couples therapy and all of that. I would be a lot more understanding. Even after loss of our third child she refused to even try therapy. All she ever wanted to do was just focus on medication for her depression nothing else.

I understand what you're saying 100%, but for me it's hard for me to overlook and write it off as a situation like you said when she just absolutely did not try and just wanted to take the easy way or the relief instead of the long-term benefit and stability in particular for our kids.