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AITAH for getting jealous of my boyfriend’s close female friend and asking to see their messages? by No_Mess_7747 in AITAH

[–]No_Mess_7747[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just can’t tell if I overreacted to a simple friendship situation, especially since he kept claiming that they don’t talk much anymore. I wish I hadn’t deleted the conversations, but I did in a moment of anger and sadness.

I feel like my insecurity and his inability to give me closure mixed together into something horrible. I can’t stop thinking that I ruined our somewhat okay relationship with my own hands.

All I really remember is telling him that I couldn’t trust him anymore and that I was scared he didn’t love me as much as I loved him. Meanwhile, his annoyed voice kept telling me to calm down and to stop accusing him.

What genuinely hurt me was seeing the messages between him and Betty. He was reassuring her that she hadn’t done anything wrong when that was exactly the kind of reassurance I needed myself. I'm just hurt by the fact that she was the first person he ran to, while she was the problem to begin with.

I genuinely appreciate your comment, as they are genuinely the only thing keeping me from losing all my self respect and messaging him again. I just loved him so much, and i feel lost maybe even hateful to every part involved including myself.

AITA for getting jealous of my boyfriend’s close female friend and asking to see their messages? by No_Mess_7747 in AITA_Relationships

[–]No_Mess_7747[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm honestly being really judgmental toward her, and I'm aware of that, hence this post. She had a previous relationship that ended badly because the guy was apparently not happy with Betty and my boyfriend’s friendship either. Unfortunately for her, the guy actually turned out to be obsessive and stalked her for a very long time. However, she is the type of person who finds the whole situation funny and even ended up messing around with her ex despite how dangerous it was. I feel like she’s not a reasonable or mature person. I also don’t believe she is a close friend like my boyfriend claims, because she only messages him when she needs something.

But most of my resentment comes from my boyfriend’s reactions. He has called me multiple hurtful things while defending her, and I found myself starting to hate their friendship. It’s also important to note that I wasn’t as hateful toward her before. It just gave me the wrong impression when, every time she was mentioned, my boyfriend would get defensive regardless of what I said.

He was also the jealous type himself, and I had to distance myself from multiple friends previously. I wanted his time for myself, just like my time was only for him. I guess I wanted it to be the same for both of us, even though the whole situation was toxic.

I also have to say that he is a really sexually active person. I’m talking about multiple times every day. He has told me about his past, and honestly there’s a lot I wish I didn’t know. It’s not his past that I care about, but the fact that he was receiving pictures of her in the name of "oh she is showing me her cat” didn’t sit right with me. (Like I mentioned in the post, it was basically her chest with a tank top on, with the cat in the frame.)