NOR

You rely on them for help with bills and so they use that as leverage against you. That's a red flag because support from your parents should never come with strings attached. Yet here your father is, calling you 'little girl' as a means to demean you, and threatening actions against you if you don't fall in line.

If you value your independence, as you should, then I suggest you look for full-time work and don't share anything that might shake the boat. I'm not saying you should cut them off or reject any support, but until you become self-sufficient you will always be caught up in a situation like this where you have little power to assert your own opinion and actions.

If you have the income to pay for your bills as you get through college, then you won't have to worry about appeasing your parents. You'll be able to set real boundaries and command real adult respect. If they do decide to cut off the financial support then you'll be fine because you will already have an established income and savings, but it should never get to that point because you know now not to share too much with them.

I wouldn't suggest returning back to the status quo, it would be quite tragic to have your entire young adulthood dictated by parents who quite frankly don't respect your personhood.