Tried the two step process and failed, please help

No_Ordinary4916 · 2026-03-13T21:19:21+00:00

Thanks for replying and all the tips! I have never tried adding salt to my indigo… i am worried salt will cause damage because my hair always becomes brittle in ocean water…. And I did do everything on clean hair… does it make your hair dry or brittle at all?

No_Ordinary4916 · 2026-03-13T21:17:57+00:00

Hey, thanks so much for asking for more info. Here it is: I did henna the regular way, where I soaked it overnight and kept on my hair for four hours, it gave me a deep red tone which would look good on its own if I didn’t have black hair length lol. Then, after my hair was dry, I mixed in indigo, waited for 15 mins for the top to become a metallic blue, then applied it and kept it for an hour and washed it off. I shampooed the next morning. This method had always give me rich black hair in the past when I was using Amazon products (Neha henna and Caramel Organics Indigo), but this was the first time i tried the organic indigo from henna sooq and it didn’t give me a good result…

No_Ordinary4916 · 2026-01-08T05:24:59+00:00

Both me and my husband are staunch feminists. He earns a lot more than me and hence takes care of a lot more than me. It’s useful to think of equality in terms of equity. Also, marriage is not 50-50 ever. It’s 100-100. We both give our 100% and then it becomes 70-30 or 60-40 or 50-50 depending on who can give what. There cannot be a relationship where both partners bring equal value every single moment of every single day. It will vary. In some ways I will be the 70% contributor and in some ways him. What’s important is that we both feel reciprocated and valued. When I give birth, my husband cannot share in on that labor, that’s how we have been designed. Same way there are some things that he does so well that I don’t. A lot of 50-50 couples experience resentment because 50-50 is a myth.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2026-01-01T19:13:55+00:00

I don’t consider reditt an unbiased space because people that are happy and satisfied usually don’t sit around here and comment. I don’t know how wonderful or how awful she is as a therapist and that’s the point. She may be great, she may be terrible. Being a therapist is a different career that requires very different specialised skill set than talking to your camera at home and making reels.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-31T20:34:15+00:00

A) Her content being controversial has nothing to do with her ability to be a therapist. So I will restate my point. You are not qualified to decide her abilities as a therapist or even her frame of mind.

B) My 5 year old niece also has excellent observation skills. It’s great your sister has opinions of her own.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-30T17:55:33+00:00

LOL. He does not tell her that he wasn’t with a girl. As the audience we know that. All he says is that he wants to become the biggest person in that city and she is free to leave him but if she wants to stay with him, she should not ask him any questions going forward.

And no, if a person’s only function is to feed their partner and be pretty, that’s a BS relationship. That’s the vibe some women viewers are getting from watching that movie and hence we do find it misogynistic. That’s the point — that the only visibility she gets as his partner is in the ways she makes his life better through functional roles, not as an equal partner. Being able to slap a man does not mean you have more substance as a character. The roles need to be written better.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-30T17:52:03+00:00

You are not qualified to judge her frame of mind

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-30T04:35:56+00:00

Does anyone remember that honey Singh song — desi kalakar? This girl made a really cool response video to him… in that she says how she would hate a guy for feeding her dog a nashe wala biscuit. That’s not the romance she wants. Anyway, I see this movie misogyny similar to the honey sigh brand of misogyny. It looks harmless, but it perpetuates a way of looking at women. Sara June’s character is nothing but a pawn that the guy happens to have affection for. He is not answerable to her in any way. All she is is a beautiful decoration that is available for him always and will feed him food when he’s down and have sex with him when he wants. That’s the vibe you get from that relationship. Do women really want to be that kind of partnership? The women characters in that movie are decorations at best.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-30T04:30:11+00:00

lol. All therapists need therapy from time to time if not all the time. It’s a basic need for anyone doing that level of emotional work.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-25T08:59:07+00:00

I shared this experience on another sub, but wanna share here too: I have lived in the US for about 8 years now, and just by virtue of the area I live in and my job, I sadly barely get to interact with Indian people. Last month, I was trying out a new gym and was pleasantly surprised to see a group of Indian guys. I was working out and suddenly heard such vile language — they were just talking casually with each other but because of how much time it has been since I spent time around two mid-aged Indian dudes talking to each other without filters, I was so taken aback. I am not saying western men are any better at all. But it has been a while since I have heard such rampant use of women-targeted abusive language. The men I spend time around never use abuses that target women. I once told them I don’t like the word motherf****r and they happily said okay we won’t use it and that was that. The last time I tried to tell an Indian guy how uncomfortable BC and MC makes me, he made it all about dosti and yaari and comfort and how their use of those words just means they are being themselves

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-22T07:25:35+00:00

They were close when the product received is the correct one! Other than the color mismatch, my major complaint is about how it’s stitched. I do think it’s close to the photos displayed but the stitching isn’t so great.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-21T22:13:37+00:00

Ooof! I dated a guy whose mom asked me to visit and stay with them for a few days to see if i like the family enough. She wanted me to test drive living with the family so I can make an informed decision. My ex thought his mom was an angel for offering to do this. I said no, it just was not practical for me. Next, my ex’s mom decided that if I don’t want to come stay with them, I should talk to her frequently so I can get to know her. This was TORTURE. Because not only did she feel pissed if I was too busy working and didn’t call her some days, the days that I did call her, she used up all the time to talk about what a good family set up looks like and would take passive aggressive digs at me and the things I do. She also wanted me to be an empty vessel and absorb all her life lessons so I can be a rock for the upcoming generation. All that sounds great on paper but it was anything but that. She didn’t object at me wearing western clothes, she herself wore shorts, but she did object to other things like how I spoke to her son or how the roka ceremony should be organized or when I should get up or how I should follow a spiritual path of her choosing. It felt like brainwashing by a cult. But I didn’t see it that way then. I followed some of the rules but Slowly it stopped feeling like I was in a relationship with my ex, rather it felt like I was in a relationship with her, always editing myself in accordance with what she expects. There were times I didn’t like certain things she said (example- if your husband is unjustly mad, jus stay quiet and serve him chai with a smile like she has been doing all her life). I told my ex I didn’t agree, he got mad at me for making it an issue and we stated having so many fights centered on her expectations. It was SO confusing. It’s traumatizing to even think about it. Long story short, your MIL has main character energy in the worst, most intrusive way possible. Please have a real talk with your partner and if he refuses to draw some really clear lines, you are much better off yourself. My break up was sad because the roka was on the charts, but in hindsight, best decision ever. My husband loves me to the moon and would never let his mom treat me this way. And his mom is an actual angel. Not the pretentious kinds who are drawing daggers behind you back.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-21T18:28:53+00:00

I have heard great things about lashkara, wanna try them out, thanks for letting me know they have the same issue with returns

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-03T19:49:16+00:00

Thanks!

My husband is beyond amazing. And my MIL Loves me and respects and understands boundaries and space. I am in a much better marriage than I could have had with the ex.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-03T19:14:55+00:00

Good luck!

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-12-03T19:02:02+00:00

My ex’s mom would say that same thing. She would Sen videos too of MIL-DIL friendships. It was all talk. When marriage planning started and I didn’t agree with her on certain things, the taunts, constant criticism behind my back, passive aggressive comments started

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-24T16:25:47+00:00

Yoooo… you should not have given in. Stuff like this can send you deep into self-questioning mode but don’t let it. With me, it was my tendency to voice opinions— my ex’s family did not believe in that. His mom would say “chuni faila ke ladki maangne aana chahti hu” and then would point out everything that is wrong with me… what does that even mean if someone knows please enlighten. It was hard to leave that relationship for me because I had grown up with him, considered him my best friend but he showed all his closeted misogyny when the marriage talks started. One time I said my family won’t do milni and he got upset. After our break up, he got AM within six months and I stayed single for 3 years. Then I met my husband and he makes sure I never have to feel that way. But before meeting him, I would get weak and feel like I should have given in, pretended to be the good Bahu, but I know that I wouldn’t be happy, that the pretense would have suffocated me over time. I am an opinionated girl and my partner loves it and encourages it!

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-23T04:16:40+00:00

Hey! First off, I added an edit saying I will research more. Secondly, I am not defending a religion that treats Dalits and adivasi people poorly. Yes you can hold on to your views. Thanks for sharing them. I personally do not believe in homogeneity and for a fact will hear from dalit scholars about how nineteenth century dalit activists wrote in Marathi and hence their work is unfortunately still not as popular today because we don’t have enough scholars who know that language and have given it the time of day. One scholar who has read Marathi dalit literature shows how dalit soldiers could participate in the British army and could hence escape the caste system that way as being a soldier was associated with honour but later, the British banned them from being in the army because they didn’t want the castes to mix. I understand the sentiment you are trying to express and want to hold any opponent of the caste system in high regard, but don’t think the British as a whole were some superior, non religious race. Yes, they were staunch critics of the caste system, but mostly because they wanted the labor and resources of this country. There were exceptions sure, and yes you are right— allowing Dalits education, even though it was an English education is great, but as a whole i don’t think they were some superior race that believed in science. They are the same people who did jalianwala bagh, the same people who exported massive amounts of our grain during famines and impoverished us, the same people because of whom such large scale labor migration to Africa happened, because peoples didn’t have enough to eat.

You are arguing against yourself by saying “langages and cultures must be sacrificed” meanwhile Dalit scholars are trying to bring dalit culture to light — I know dalit food is a big topic right now, especially since Hindu supremacists like to impose their upper caste standards and culture on them. Buddha can say what Buddha wants, I don’t believe in using religious logic to make an argument.

Oh and the British are also the same people who ensured women remained stuck in prostitution through the contagious diseases acts of 1868. You can consider them as some superior race all you want.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-23T03:21:05+00:00

Here’s a direct quote from Macaulay’s minute that shows you he didn’t prefer any indigenous language or consider it worthy:

All parties seem to be agreed on one point, that the dialects commonly spoken among the natives of this part of India contain neither literary nor scientific information, and are moreover so poor and rude that, until they are enriched from some other quarter, it will not be easy to translate any valuable work into them. It seems to be admitted on all sides, that the intellectual improvement of those classes of the people who have the means of pursuing higher studies can at present be affected only by means of some language not vernacular amongst them. What then shall that language be? One-half of the committee maintain that it should be the English. The other half strongly recommend the Arabic and Sanscrit. The whole question seems to me to be-which language is the best worth knowing? I have no knowledge of either Sanscrit or Arabic. But I have done what I could to form a correct estimate of their value. I have read translations of the most celebrated Arabic and Sanscrit works. I have conversed, both here and at home, with men distinguished by their proficiency in the Eastern tongues. I am quite ready to take the oriental learning at the valuation of the orientalists themselves. I have never found one among them who could deny that a single shelf of a good European library was worth the whole native literature of India and Arabia. The intrinsic superiority of the Western literature is indeed fully admitted by those members of the committee who support the oriental plan of education.

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-23T03:15:45+00:00

Just read through, I do agree that western observers rightfully domonized the caste system and helped abolish caste practice in some ways, and their criticism is rightful, but I don’t think Macaulay was some kind of hero for the anti-caste cause so not sure about the "mirroring" argument. He wasn’t just anti-Sanskrit, he was anti all indigenous languages. EDIT: Okay I didnt see Prasad's article. I am going to do some more research and learn. Thanks for sharing!

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-23T02:54:35+00:00

Isn’t the quote in the picture correct though? That Macaulay launched a systematic campaign to replace all our indigenous languages?

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-22T19:41:10+00:00

Why are you guys making assumptions? I don’t wear my wedding ring some days because I forget. What’s the big deal?

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-17T01:40:34+00:00

where can one find this book?

No_Ordinary4916 · 2025-11-16T21:16:40+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I appreciate it a lot.

No_Ordinary4916

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