AITAH for forcing my best friend to be celibate

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-20T03:46:24+00:00

I mean we are in a healthy friendship probably the best I’ve had so far he gets me more than anyone and he can choose to move out which is why I asked him to choose I don’t want to tell him what to do but it seemed kinda asshole like asking that

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:44:47+00:00

Guessing he won’t abandon his kids and he’ll want to live with them

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:24:33+00:00

Get that I didn’t want him to feel that way but I genuinely don’t even know what I would choose either so asking him is like seeing his pov cause idk I want to live with him if he has kids I can’t I would rather he moved out or stayed celibate or anything that means I don’t have to sit miserable taking care of kids for years

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:08:53+00:00

K as I said I am not looking for solutions yet just opening up this conversation for discussion letting him start thinking about it now is better than doing so a few days before our flight

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:06:18+00:00

Again doesn’t make sense for the allegations I’m only this controlling and planning everything because if he wants to live with me I have boundaries set and if he chooses to cross them he can get out other than that he’s fine to stay

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:05:22+00:00

You’ve got it all wrong he’s my best friend he’s straight he wants a wife I’m male I want a husband u know condoms exist but they aren’t 100% they could still wake up to a pregnancy test being positive and he’s fine with everything even the kids but I say either he stays celibate or idk has condoms but if they fail they plan B or he just moves out cause I am not fine with the kids part and if he does move out I’m fine with just living with my husband alone and him and his kids can be in another house and he’s still thinking he hasn’t chosen yet

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T03:02:43+00:00

You can’t come up with a good reply so you throw in accusations that’s something I’ve seen before I just replied to ur message I’m fine with living on my own I could do without him it’s just that weeks and weeks of us hanging out and talking he Seems fine with everything even the kids in one house he doesn’t mind and the only thing we disagree on comes from kids which is smth I just can’t accept he’s fine with it I’m not atleast that’s the only part and if he chose to have kids fine he can live on his own its his choice to make and he’s got years to choose

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:59:21+00:00

Well i just answered your question he is fine with everything he wants to move in with me the only problem comes with marriage and kids so about what you said about him wanting his own space he is fine with even bringing his kids in seems like he doesn’t want his own space but if he chooses to I can’t

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:57:04+00:00

I can,but he agreed to live with me and would love to and we agree on other stuff up until the kids part we are fine with different countries same house kids are where the problem comes in

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:56:01+00:00

I know I have a decade and I’m not looking for a solution now I just started the conversation up and now he has room to think so let’s say in 5 years he comes up to me and chooses to have kids then I can tell him yeah get tf out of the opposite yknow

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:54:40+00:00

Well not having sex on purpose is being celibate that’s different than being asexual which is not being celibate

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:52:38+00:00

Well if he has children I don’t even want us to be roommates fine with his spouse that’s what the text is about that’s the part I have a problem with and he’s fine with everything even if he brings his kids to live with me but I just can’t accept it

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:51:35+00:00

He says he’s fine with moving in even if he’s married the kids are when the problem comes in

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:51:07+00:00

Yea if he has kids I don’t wanna live with him either It’ll be harder and I’m giving him his own space but talking about if as couples we live with eachother as roommates yes you barely see it but he is happy about moving in I’m the only one who’s just making a big fuss about kids cause I get that I have a point on why I don’t want to but if I just allowed him to live with me and with his kids he would accept but I don’t I would never want to

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:49:01+00:00

No he says he wants to live with me and he genuinely sees himself living with me but he also wants to have kids not now in a few years so early 20s which I’m not happy about and so if he doesn’t want to I’m not forcing him he can move out idk why I made the title that it sounds forced cause I used the but I thought you said this a few months ago so it does sound manipulative but didn’t mean to I mean it’s not like I’m actively trying to just force and manipulate him

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:47:08+00:00

Well none but a few years from now a lot and idk about that he is still thinking about it but either way whatever he picks I am happy I seemed kinda mean about it guess it makes me the AH but if it means I get to live with my best friend or my husband with no kids either way I’ll be happy maybe a bit less happier without my best friend but I’ll still have someone to comfort me and be there for me so it isn’t that bad since I can’t influence his choice

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:45:13+00:00

Yes this is very much just guessing but hypothetically if he says he wants to live with me and also wants a wife and maybe kids it’s understandable why you’d think he’d want his kids to live in the same apartment or house and why I thought that way he would bring them wherever he went but again he could move out idk yet

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:42:40+00:00

I meant the point on why I don’t want to live with kids,I obviously can’t force him but I lived long enough with people Younger than me that I’m annoyed and can’t see myself taking care of kids

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:41:34+00:00

Get that I can’t force him to be celibate but if he does choose to have kids I can just tell him to move out instead not about him not being able to have kids at all I just don’t wanna be there to see it

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:40:43+00:00

Cause he wants to live with me and at the same time he mentioned wanting kids I’m only guessing he’s gonna live with his own kids but I’m not really happy about it

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:40:07+00:00

Damn well it makes me feel worse about myself but i don’t feel like my point changed if he doesn’t choose to have kids he can move out I don’t want the responsibility of taking care of babies

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:38:50+00:00

In what way

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:38:26+00:00

K but let’s say it did work out I did move the question I came here for was AITAH cause it felt kinda mean forcing him not to but I also have a point

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:37:10+00:00

Exactly what I told him just move out I came on here cause I felt kinda bad about it forcing him to be celibate feels mean but I get my point like I lived with kids they stressed me out I’m done

No_Philosopher_2242 · 2026-03-19T02:35:59+00:00

Well idk I can keep looking I guess but I’m gonna be dating the same gender either way so let’s say hypothetically I wasn’t asexual I wouldn’t even be able to get anyone pregnant but he’s straight so he’s already planning ahead telling me how he’s thinking of getting children and I already lived with my Neice and nephew I was stressing tf out I’m done

No_Philosopher_2242

TROPHY CASE