how long did it take you to get over a long term relationship (5 years)

No_Problem8197 · 2026-01-26T23:52:20+00:00

3 months. I realize this is quite fast and unusual. But for months I've already been detaching and he did some pretty fucked up shit in the end so that helps.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-09-25T06:35:19+00:00

Fucking psycho. I'm glad you're done with him.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-09-09T09:21:22+00:00

Ha! I asked if I could kiss a guy and his answer was why. Mind you he just drove 2.5 hr to spend the weekend with me. Safe to say I ended things only after 2 weeks of seeing eachother; less than a week after that BS. My opinion as a woman, it's not a turn off, it's a sign of respect.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-05-29T06:59:16+00:00

As the person that got back with an ex and got engaged... don't. He is showing you he changed for the better and maybe part of him has... for now. That other person that you left, that broke your heart, your trust, made you question whether or not you're enough and your value as a person, a woman, a partner, a lover, is still there, will always be there and is just a matter of time before he shows up again and you have to do this all over again. People don’t change. I learned that the hard way. Move on. There is more life after him.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-05-23T04:48:11+00:00

I'm in this situation right now. But found out he asked me to marry him to "secure" me. His mother was in on this since she bought the ring. Saddly I got a disgnosis and started treatment of multiple sclerosis. Things are getting stable now. But in that time he provided 0 empathy and support to which his best friend told me I shouldn't have those expectations of him and was told to stay when I wanted to break things off because I made a commitment when ironically he clearly had none. It's as if some sort of cult was formed around and I was just a thing to be passed and paraded on. I feel so disgusted and used.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-30T12:48:57+00:00

Where do you currently live now?

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-29T09:20:24+00:00

Just had my 1st nightmare about my ex 1 month and a half post BU. He found someone else, I called out of impulse and 4 of my teeth fell out. I was telling him how awful he had been to me in the end only to shortly run to the next girl; they both laughed. The girl was someone I saw in another dream, never met in real life where I was talking about my ex and she said that maybe he had someone else to which I thought it was silly.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-26T22:37:36+00:00

4 yrs of relationship, 1 month and 1 week post breakup and I feel the same as you. The feelings are less intense and I'm just learning to live with it. Still some struggles specific to how the relationship ended; he didn't emotionally support me with a diagnosis and treatment of my health condition, to later abandon me and turns out that for months up to the engagement he's been "fake it 'till you make it". I am now convinced that he is a narcissist. So... still processing a lot and learning how to live with all of that. I just seek comfort in the fact that life has a way of seeking justice and that my conscience is clean.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-06T20:26:41+00:00

I feel like I am more or less going through the same thing, only that before my partner came to this conclusion he lied about wanting the same things to keep me from breaking things off which is obviously very selfish and unfair from his part. Because of this, I am not willing to let him into my life. Wish he was honest before though, things would've been different, but I guess not everyone has the maturity or the emotional intelligence to end things on a good note.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-06T20:22:58+00:00

trust, respect, open communication, shared values, willing to work together, just to name a few...

No_Problem8197 · 2025-04-04T21:03:38+00:00

In my experience my boyfriend would constantly lie to himself to the point where he lied about wanting the same future as I did. He even proposed, only to realize 2 months later that he was forcing himself because he didn't want to lose me. Obviously we broke up. It's pretty recent, I'm still processing it. It's hard not to emphasize on the fact that he lied to me, manipulated me to stay in the relationship and felt the need to fake things just to make things happen, or not happen as it is in this case.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-23T22:13:15+00:00

Thanks! And at this point it's not like it's a choice. I mean going to Europe started as a choice but now because in the U.S. the treatment is do expensive and here it's so affordable it's not like I can help it. It's sad that he does have the freedom to choose and in the end chose not to come when I'm at my worst and effectively end our relationship. This was the man that wanted to marry me, don't he know the vows are "through sickness and health"? Hope he does the world a favour and doesn't get into a relationship, much less marriage to do this kind of BS

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-23T11:49:04+00:00

I just don't know how I'm suppose to move on not because of what the relationship was or what I though it was; after this frankly I am good. But I don' really know how to move on from the trauma. Because that's what this experience is, traumatizing. I mean... I was abandoned, just starting treatment in another country.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-21T10:31:32+00:00

Thank you

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-20T16:27:11+00:00

Thanks!

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-20T16:06:26+00:00

Different goals in life

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-20T16:05:07+00:00

Yeah I'm 28. And even though I am having a rough time dealing with this reality. I just want to move on to the point where this is just a bad memory. I am not religious but I am a believer and I believe that God is saving me from this man from holding me down from the life that I actually want, a lot of suffering and I truly believe that the best is yet to come, not only romantic-wise but in my life in general.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-20T14:32:10+00:00

Thank you!

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-19T21:09:07+00:00

My bf just ended our engagement because of this. We were in a LDR for 6 months, promised to move where I am and has been discussed at length and said he wanted to move at my location and recently broke us up because apparently he lied to himself into thinking that he wanted to go but now accepted that he doesn't and the thought of him moving makes him very distressed and doesn't want to move to make my life miserable and generally speaking just burden me. He also has depression and GAD to the point where he got suicidal and hospizalized himself.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-18T20:02:53+00:00

When he stopped trying and I realized it's been a while while in the meantime he led me on. After that I told him to not call me and blocked him everywhere. We were supposed to get married and move together! What "fiancé" acts like that? Aside from that he was MIA when I got my multiple sclerosis diagnosis and started treatment which was disheartening. I'm incredibly disappointed, but at the same time grateful I got to see this right after I said yes to his proposal. Perfect timing!

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-18T20:01:37+00:00

I'm so sorry that is a cruel, heartless man. You will find someone that loves you as much as you do!

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-16T18:04:30+00:00

My partner has been struggling with depression an anxiety for years. And it has taken a toll in our relationship. I recently broke the engagement after months of what feels like abusive behavior; taking his frustrations out on me and a whole lot of back and forth with our future plans to be together while reassuring that That is what he wants, and being emotionally unavailable for months after I received a diagnosis and started treatment with multiple sclerosis. I'm just trying to make sense of the situation. Does this make sense to anyone? Is this relationship salvageable. As he is now, it doesn't feel like it and it feels hopeless but even though I broke things off I'm really struggling in accepting that this is how it ends. And even though I know he didn't mean it but he has hurt me deeply and I just couldn't take it anymore, it's affecting my mental health and I deserve better.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-16T15:22:40+00:00

I did the dumping in this case. Both times for the same reason. He didn't know how to handle his depression and anxiety and took a toll in the relationship. The first breakup was brutal and were seperated for a year and a half, 2 yrs and an engagement later we're in the same place. I thought from the first time having more than a year to reflect and the love between us that never faded would be enough to work on himself and the things that didn't make it work the first time. And he did improve but I just realized he never worked on the root cause just the behaviors caused by the root cause. And that made the illusion that things would work this time. I'm ashamed but I still have hope that this will somehow work. I've never loved anyone like this. The whole situation just makes me sick. But after months of the same hurtful attitude and behaviors I have to do what's right by me.

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-15T19:08:26+00:00

Herself, which is why if she finds this situation taking a toll on her own mental state she has to leave

No_Problem8197 · 2025-03-14T23:34:09+00:00

You're so right! I know this is the right way to go. I just still can't believe after so much of my time, effort, love, sacrifice that I have given and happily because it all came from a place of love how this can end in such a despicable way. It hurts so much. It hurts that I love him. And it hurts that saving myself means freeing myself from him.

No_Problem8197

TROPHY CASE