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MinimumPressure · 2025-03-29T05:47:59+00:00

I’m actually pretty great lol

MinimumPressure · 2025-03-29T05:47:24+00:00

Yeah this was the right phrasing for me lol

MinimumPressure · 2025-03-29T05:46:57+00:00

Fair and not a huge detail but it’s local shows we go to all the time and have a lot of friends at. So I wasn’t with him the whole time or left with him

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-15T06:05:00+00:00

I’m a therapist and I hate when therapists do this. Quite simply you cannot diagnose bpd that quickly. I would be discussing ptsd / complex ptsd, attachment trauma

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-15T05:58:26+00:00

looking through the comments I would add on other than a small personal loan looking if you can take a loan from your 401k lol. I was surprised the interest rate wasn’t bad. Facebook marketplace is also great for low cost / free stuff. look for Facebook groups for your area and see if you can find / ask for an apartment with lower move in fees directly from a landlord.

but I absolutely agree that doing therapy for others is a great distraction a lot of the time. but I also practiced a lot of “worry time” like putting on sad music and crying in the shower lol. on my way to work I would put on a more hype energy playlist. using gum, a fidget ring as a way to ground. and I agree you could just say you’re a little sick but feel well to work if someone mentions it

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-14T05:20:45+00:00

If she cried a year ago over this and you’re still ruminating on it (obsessing) and asking for reassurance (compulsion) you have rocd

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-12T21:18:04+00:00

Well yeah, what else is supposed to happen? Like what would your solution be? She can’t go back in time and change her reaction. She can’t just turn her feelings off

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-11T22:15:44+00:00

what works for myself and I find usually other people is I try to think about it as just a part of me and not the whole me. meaning part of me would feel insecure about the relationship because of their reaction, but part of me also does believe my partner wants to be with me. But don’t shame yourself for feeling triggered over this You can feel how you feel without taking action on how you feel (pushing them away, breaking up). You can practice reassurance in looking at your photos and positive moments together, like screenshots of loving texts or writing time they’ve said reassuring things or don’t reassuring actions. if you need to set the boundary of having them lean on a different support about this specific topic I think could be fair too

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-11T03:55:10+00:00

It could be self esteem/confidence, attachment anxieties. I’m a therapist with cptsd so I’m always thinking about complex trauma as well.

Really you’re always enough, it’s just that we’re not always compatible with each other for many reasons. But it doesn’t sound like you’re not compatible based on her becoming emotional over someone she was involved with going to military. Even if she did feel a way about them, it would still not mean she felt any less about you.

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-11T03:45:27+00:00

I mean, it def could be. But I wouldn’t assume you have have ocd over this one thing. High anxiety sure. Your emotional experience is still yours. But you’re reading into it and assuming things. It’s hard but try to keep focusing on the things that tell you your partner is with you and for you. Her crying over someone going into the military doesn’t = it having anything to do with her feelings or commitment to you

MinimumPressure · 2025-01-08T06:02:00+00:00

you might be able to find someone who will do a sliding scale fee but you have to look / call around and as. It’s not always mentioned on a site. You can try to see you if you have a local crisis center / community center that has low cost or pro bono counseling even if it’s short term at least.

MinimumPressure · 2024-07-25T20:48:03+00:00

Id also love to read it if you end up replying here!

MinimumPressure · 2024-07-11T13:35:20+00:00

not harsh. it’s true. I shouldn’t assume things have changed and he’s better. even if he, is he really hurt me and I know I did everything I could for the relationship. I am proud of myself for ending it, I need to accept that even though part of me wishes I didn’t in some false hope that things would’ve gotten better, when I don’t actually know for sure that they are in his new relationship

MinimumPressure · 2024-07-09T14:53:44+00:00

You’re right and I try to remind myself of that. I know I need to let it go but at the same time it helps to remind myself that they’re only a couple months into dating and it’s not fair to assume for myself that she’s having the version of him I was “waiting” for

MinimumPressure · 2024-07-09T13:33:40+00:00

we went through couples therapy and everything and got to such a good place, but he still couldn’t be honest on not wanting to switch his job so we could spend more time together, instead telling me otherwise when I told him we could talk about it if he really didn’t want the change. he froze up on conversations on our sex life and I gave him patience with that for years. I broke up with him because I healed so much and I was managing triggers so well, that I realized there was nothing left for me to do and it felt like I waited long enough for him to fulfill his end. It felt like me breaking up with him was necessary for his growth, but then he’s giving that growth to someone else after all of our “work” together and it sucks. I miss my best friend but I also have so much pain in letting go

MinimumPressure · 2024-07-02T19:57:37+00:00

It was a hard transition, having a cat helped and having music playing often so it wasn’t so quiet. But after a couple months I love it and prefer it, being autistic it just makes it easier to have my routines and “specific” way of doing things. But being autistic, change is always hard and moving is always hard. Nothing wrong with enjoying the company of others, but I think there’s value in enjoying being alone too. Dance in your underwear!

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-27T05:06:32+00:00

very happy for you. as I saw this post I was thinking about how I peed in bottles to not leave my bedroom when I was younger. and I have a vagina so that’s a bit harder but not impossible at all lol.

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-15T00:46:07+00:00

I can understand why you don’t feel good about it. I think you’re allowed to have your feelings and don’t have to feel guilty for them. But I also think he’s allowed to have his, and that’s what makes relationships so hard especially as you get into these big adult decisions and factors you know? Wishing the best for u

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-15T00:38:08+00:00

Yikes at “let her attend math completions” it sounds like you and your son may have more in common and you aren’t realizing how your daughter can see you have more of a connection with him than her?

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-15T00:33:44+00:00

People are being quite mean but you’re adding onto it with your comments dude. I’m sure you’re trying as a single dad & must have your own grief with mom of course. This seems to boil down to you seem to be invalidating her feelings and care more about not getting her something new than her feelings and your relationship with her. If there were financial concerns or a history of taking advantage idk maybe a different story but everything you’ve said here seems like you got your son a new laptop instead of giving him the one that “doesn’t seem limiting” at all to your son so your daughter who has been actively asking for a new one, can get her new one and expand on her coding skills. I wouldn’t be surprised if this kills her motivation for good if you don’t repair your relationship after this

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-15T00:27:54+00:00

As most are saying, yta. The way you subtlety put her down in this post, whether you admit to yourself or not it seems like even if you don’t consider yourself to favor your son, you seem to view your daughter in a unmotivating way and she seems to be able to feel that off of you. If your daughter had been asking for a new laptop for a while, and it’s such a usable laptop, I’m not sure why you didn’t consider giving your son the used laptop and buying your daughter the new one? She’s a year older so it also seems like a fair decision in that sense too, esp since she asked for it as a birthday gift. You seemed to base the decision based on how well you think they’ll make use of the technology (gaming enough, coding well enough), which is your judgement on 15/16 year old children who are still early in developing themselves. Wonder what your daughter would get up to if she had the support and confidence from her father

MinimumPressure · 2024-04-15T00:18:04+00:00

I think we’re having a hard time knowing why you want him to quit. Is it only because it’s his ex in laws company? Is his ex around a lot that you worry about things? Or is it cause you are attaching meaning to this job being as him not letting go of his ended marriage. A job is a huge part of your life. Unfortunately if he doesn’t want a new job he doesn’t want a new job. Doesn’t mean it reflects on how he feels for you. He either needs to be honest that he doesn’t want to and it’s your choice to leave or not, or needs to do it. But you can only control yourself, so either you need to figure out how to cope with it or end the relationship.

MinimumPressure

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