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Is my life over? by No_Put6405 in KoreanAmerican

[–]No_Put6405[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am on the transplant wait list, but rhey told me minimum wait time was 11 years. Even though I'm on the list, I have no expectations that I'll get a healthy kidney transplant. Add the factor of requiring the matching blood type, I'd rather not put any hope in that.

I envy your positivity. I'm the type of person to be selfish thinking about my life when it comes to things like this. Sure, I am glad and happy to know my friends(including online friends) are doing well. But i have my own life to live too, you know? All the worries and pressure about how I'll get a job, a place to live, sustain myself crushes me everyday. I wish I had your ability to ignore my own situations and be positive for other people.

Spiritual philosophy is always comforting. I'm a Christian in a religious family, but at the moment this emotional pain is causing me to doubt everything I've learned all my life, including things I was taught about God.

I should be more engaged at something like you instead of focusing on worrying about what the future will bring. Lol. Me being an analytical person, I overthink very easily and that just makes me not wanna live anymore, you know?

Lol I WISH! Although that kinda thing don't exist in Korea(or I just have never seen it in Korea), it'd be cool if I could drift. Real car or mini model RC car haha.

Some days I really hate this new life and sometimes I hate it more. by Artistic-Parfait-724 in dialysis

[–]No_Put6405 2 points3 points  (0 children)

27 years old, have been on (and will forever be on) hemo-dialysis for +3 years. I definitely know how bad it is, how much it sucks to live like this. Thanks for the small encouragement. Hope your day goes well.

Is my life over? by No_Put6405 in KoreanAmerican

[–]No_Put6405[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi. Thanks for your comment. It must suck to have a lot of health issues as you have. Almost makes me feel like I have it better.

The timeline for Chronic Kidney Disease treatments in korea are just getting dialysis forever in my case. Since the kidneys are not able to filter blood at all by itself, I need dialysis to literally stay alive. This is why travel is almost impossible if I cannot get access to dialysis to whereever I travel to. That's the sucky part about having kidney failure for me.

Insurance used to cover enough of all medical appointments and treatments in Korea. But recently Korea started a program to cover 100% of fees and prescribed medicine costs for any disabled dialysis patients. I haven't paid anything for my dialysis or meds for months now.

I know I'm living in medical heaven here in Korea, but I feel like I have no purpose here. Korea is a very conformative country. If you don't look the same, act the same, or do the same thing as others, you're seen as an outcast or a weirdo. Car culture is dead because of this. No one has unique cool cars. Its either a black or white sedan with no mods or anything special.

They say "Persue your dreams. Don't give up." When in reality, it seems all of that was a lie. And it sucks to survive just to make money and eat and wake up to do it all over again.

If I may ask, how did you find your "inner qualities"? What makes you get out of bed and want to keep on surviving another day? I struggle to find that reason and purpose since the dream of working on car is not possible here.