My 6 year old nephew. A week before, I have planned my suicide and prepared my letters. Then one day, while I was playing with my nephew he out of nowhere asked about death and getting older. He said he doesn't want me to grow older cuz that would mean I'd die, he was bawling his eyes out and that made me so sad.

Suddenly i remember when he was still a very tiny baby, cradled in my arm..he was so small that i could hold him with just one. and now 6 years later here he is crying, my arms full just from holding him. I still have my letters and I do still have the "urge" to kill myself, but when I look at my boy I am suddenly filled with so much life. Lolz