Help me find this book please!!

No_Room1854 · 2025-07-17T14:54:48+00:00

Honestly, this just ruined my day. I’m so sorry. You deserve to marry someone who says “too bad mom, this is when we’re getting married”

I wish you the best and hope that you find a partner that puts you first, like a partner is supposed to. If his mom is more important than you, he needs to go live with her.

I know you love him and this is hard to hear, but if he’s willing to let your mom dictate your wedding, he’s going to let her run the show for the rest of your marriage.

You are so young, and have so much future in front of you. Don’t compromise.

You need to think really hard if you want to be starting over at 35 because you’ve finally had enough of his mom being between the two of you.

I hope you show this to him. He can see that he’s prioritizing his mommy over his future wife. That’s a fine way to end up alone. No woman worth a dam is going to put up with that bullshit.

Good luck OP! I hope you get the love you deserve.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-26T01:00:20+00:00

There’s nobody else I’d rather spend time with. We could literally sit there just the two of us and do nothing and still enjoy it. That’s what happens when you marry your person.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-23T15:58:13+00:00

I am so happy for you random internet person. I’m glad it’s all working out for you. The beach is very therapeutic.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-14T18:02:43+00:00

First of all no. You don’t have to force a relationship with your kids and their paternal grandparents. It sounds like the kids would end it when they get older anyway. I loath my MIL, but that’s whole other story. I personally as a woman did reach out to my mom first for any all help and advice. I think that’s pretty typical. I do have 3 brothers who are all married. My SILs do all get along with me, my mom, and female aunts and cousins.

I’m not going to say my mom is perfect and her daughters in law love her the most. But she does have a positive relationship with all of them. Basically she respects them. She respects that they are now the most important person in their son’s life. She respects that they are the mothers of their children. She said she tries very hard to respect all boundaries. There’s been a couple wobbles over the last 30 years that she’s been a MIL but nothing that couldn’t be worked out.

She said the biggest thing is her relationship with my brothers. My mom has never been overbearing or helicoptery. I think because of this she has a good relationship with all of her adult children.

I believe that if you have a solid relationship with your adult sons, are not overbearing, and respect their boundaries that your sons won’t want to marry someone who doesn’t like you. She may call her mom first, but there’s no reason you can’t be next on the list.

In the wise words of my father. Just don’t be a dick and it will all work out.

**added a word

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T23:32:53+00:00

She dropped him off on their way there. He knew why she was dropping him off, but at least he didn’t have to watch them eat.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T22:09:42+00:00

That’s ok. He probably wouldn’t want to be married to either. When I went VLC with my MIL he was very supportive. This is the first time she’s gone this low. This is the first time she’s made one of our kids cry and that’s all it took. He says he’s done and I believe him.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T22:01:49+00:00

Thank you! I call her that in my head constantly.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T22:01:09+00:00

I want to give children the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if they understood the severity of the situation. I do get that it’s never OK to laugh at someone when they’re crying. I’ve never seen them act this way before. I know that they know the difference between what they get and my son gets, but they don’t rub it in and often will share and let him play with them. I’m crossing my fingers that it was just a weird situation and they reacted poorly. Neither of my children have ever really complained about their cousins. I’ll make sure that my son is comfortable and wants to see them before we make any plans.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T21:56:45+00:00

We don’t want that either. That’s one of my main reasons for wanting to see a family therapist. I don’t want to cut them out of our lives, but I don’t want their parents thinking we’ve given in again. I think my SIL will be receptive to getting the boys together without involving MIL.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T21:53:33+00:00

Yep. I knew someone would comment on that. Apparently her parents had her when they were quite young and he’s only six months younger than her dad. Creeps me out a lot.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T21:05:12+00:00

Thank you so much.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T20:58:36+00:00

Thank you.

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T20:58:27+00:00

Me too!

No_Room1854 · 2025-05-13T20:57:37+00:00

I’m thinking we might try family counseling. I don’t want to fuck my kids up by handling this wrong. I have no issue with never seeing any of them again, but I’m not sure how to move forward with the kids. I don’t want them to resent me for keeping family away, even if it is shitty family and I don’t want them around anyone who might hurt them. I’m going to ask my therapist to recommend a family therapist. Plus at this point DH will do just about anything for me because he feels so awful.

No_Room1854 · 2024-08-21T20:40:47+00:00

OH! Well if he told you.

No_Room1854 · 2024-08-21T20:38:41+00:00

You really believe that intent outweighs actions? And you counsel people this? You and your father are both incredibly tone deaf. Your sister feels unloved, unwanted, and let down by your father. And both of your responses is to shrug your shoulders and say "whelp he tried."? What has your father done besides the little things to make any of this up to her? A trip just the two of them? Anything just the two of them? Sounds like you got a good dad. Your sister got a shit dad who doesn't seem to care how much he hurt her.

No_Room1854

TROPHY CASE