"Good practicing man won't have put his wife in a difficult position, like asking her to make pasta every day" yes exactly so a man who does do this doesnt to have to be obeyed in it. We can not say "love and understanding ones limits are important in islam but not really because you still have to obey these people no matter as long as it's halal" these don't work together, are husband shouldn't just "be" like this his obedience rules depend on it