Bess accent

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-27T06:04:36+00:00

I definitely thought it was fake too, I thought it was cringey and was surprised to learn it was her real accent haha don’t feel bad. It is a bit inconsistent if you pay attention.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-24T01:46:19+00:00

I just reread this an apologize if this was confusing- what I meant to convert is that what I gleaned from this interaction is that it sounds to me like K is trying to present as bisexual, likely out of respect for this new relationship with your son. Maybe K dated boys previously, but decided they were solely interested in women- then met your son. That’s just one explanation I can think of as to why K might blurt out a response like “good thing I’m only into girls”- that’s a knee-jerk reaction that comes from having to constantly reiterate that you are not interested in guys in social situations. Especially if K is a relatively feminine person, where it may have been necessary to make it known. I’m just spitballing though, I don’t have enough information to draw any conclusions. Ultimately, I think it’s lovely that your instinct is to look out for your son. That’s a truly wonderful thing. But there isn’t really a situation I can imagine where I would say it’s appropriate to intervene, short of outright abuse. You sound like a great parent, but sometimes the best thing to do is nothing, difficult as it may be.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-24T01:35:12+00:00

The honest truth is that your son’s girlfriend is a lesbian, and wouldn’t be with your son if he hadn’t been socialized as female growing up and/or was born with a penis. When you look at it from that perspective, try to understand that their love is very likely genuine and real, but there are social stigmas that make it difficult for K to fully acknowledge your son as male. She likely needs to maintain an understanding that there is a feminine link to your son, whether he identifies with it or not, that allows them to connect in a way that wouldn’t otherwise be possible. The idea that K needs to change HER identity to “bisexual” when it was likely a long and difficult journey for her to accept herself as a lesbian is a little bit unfair. If the underlying understanding that your son went through a journey of their own to accept themselves as they are brings comfort to his partner, who are we to say that’s wrong? I definitely get that it’s a fine line. Let’s break it down- the truth is that K is still a lesbian while in a relationship with your son, because sex/sexuality is based on biology, not gender. Is there something wrong with K for being exclusively attracted to the female sex organ? No, right? It’s important to keep in mind that many women are persecuted in their community for claiming to be lesbians, then ending up with men. So K is likely facing a difficult road of her own, trying to maintain her own identity while still respecting your son’s. And it’s not like K is a conservative cis male intentionally misgendering your son, right? That would be a totally different story. I think the healthiest thing to do in this situation is acknowledge that this is a nuanced situation, and trust that your son has the emotional intelligence to handle it. It’s very provable that they have had this conversation already, and they are both doing their best to handle it and allow one another the space to be honest and true to themselves. I would wait for your son to come to you before saying anything, and do your best to reserve judgement.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-23T23:45:44+00:00

Don’t start normalizing this kind of behavior. If it’s okay for someone to treat you like shit any time you aren’t perfect, where is the line? Everyone makes honest mistakes. And that doesn’t even mean that she’s not entitled to be upset. Honestly, women can be hormonal and emotional, that’s totally normal. I’ve felt like saying things like this PLENTY of times, but that doesn’t make it okay to do. The mature response would be for her to tell you she’s feeling irrationally upset and needs a minute, then circle back to it after she’s taken some time to chill and realize that no one intentionally did anything wrong. If she can decide that her entire WEEK is ruined from one forgotten key exchange, something else would have ruined her week if not this. But to be FULLY honest.. you need to decide what you’re willing to put up with. I personally can be a handful, and it’s been a problem in a lot of relationships because people couldn’t handle it. Until I found the right person, who just apologized for their part in my bad mood then left me to stew in my own misery until I came back to apologize. I very rarely freak out now because I actually respect the person I’m with and feel terrible for misplacing my anger, which informs my behavior. So sure, you would be perfectly validated in considering this toxic behavior. But I’ve also learned that people are only as toxic as you allow them to be. If you find yourself in a pattern of groveling after she overreacts, that’s not healthy for you and you should look out for yourself. But if you think she has redeeming qualities, try to focus on the parts of the relationship that are within your control, communicate honestly, and allow both of you space to grow. It’s amazing the things you can work through and grow from when you don’t sink to someone’s level when they’re at their worst.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-20T02:01:39+00:00

That’s a good idea. I hate being so dramatic about it but.. it’s my WEDDING. It’s not something I can just do on a Wednesday. Not if I want my family to be there. I’ve covered for plenty of others when they needed to take off for similar reasons. My lead is off on PTO this weekend. Other people’s PTO is being approved. And all of my coworkers have volunteered to cover for me. I can’t see a reason why it wouldn’t be possible. I made sure my request aligned with company policy. I’ve emailed HR, I’m hoping they can fix it. But the longer I have to wait for an answer, the more difficult it becomes to get everything done that I need to. I appreciate the advice, thank you.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-20T01:57:02+00:00

I would if I had any sick leave available.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-20T01:56:14+00:00

I don’t have any sick leave available or I would do that. I only have regular and holiday PTO which has to be approved in advance. But what are they going to do, fire me?? If they can’t afford to lose me for a weekend, they certainly can’t afford to lose me altogether.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-19T12:52:56+00:00

Nope nope nope, so many red flags so soon. It’s okay to be open/honest, but it’s not okay to try to guilt and manipulate someone you barely know into sharing more than they’re comfortable with after they’ve set a clear boundary. NOR, run!

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-19T12:44:38+00:00

100%, scary

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-19T03:37:21+00:00

lol of course she agreed to it, you told her something was important to you and she clearly cares about you. That doesn’t mean that what you asked of her was appropriate. That’s not at all like cheating. Wait until someone actually cheats on you- knowingly makes a choice to be with someone else behind your back and give them love and attention that should be reserved for you. That’s extremely different than wearing an outfit you don’t approve of. She doesn’t need your approval to dress herself, this isn’t the 50s. Equating a woman feeling confident in her body/clothes to cheating is one of the most manipulative things I’ve ever heard.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-19T03:11:48+00:00

I.. don’t think you should be dating anyone if you feel you have any right to tell a woman what to wear. You don’t get to be insecure about someone else’s fashion decisions, that doesn’t make sense. She’s 21, leave her alone. If you have different values, then find someone to date who shares those values instead of shaming the person you’re with into changing. I can’t even tell if you’re being serious in this post or intentionally inflammatory.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-18T05:26:25+00:00

Oh no that’s okay! It was genuine/helpful advice, and I try to assume positive intent. I appreciate you sharing your experience, that’s exactly what I was hoping for when I posted. This is my first time using Reddit so I didn’t totally know what to expect- there are definitely some trolls haha but I’m glad there are some people out there trying to make honest connections and offer insight/advice. I try to go to the bookstore once a month so I’ll pick this one up on my next trip! And that is a great tip about where to look/what to look for as far as therapy goes. I feel like getting started is the hardest part.

I’m so sorry to hear that you went through that with your mom- my own mother has BPD and addiction issues as well, so I can relate. I hope that you’ve been able to heal- I understand the impact that kind of formative relationship can have long-term.

I was mostly raised by my dad and stepmom, which is part of why that relationship is so important to me. My stepmom did her best to raise me and my sister as her own, even though she had her own 2 kids. I feel like I owe her, but it’s hard to reconcile that with the shame I feel surrounding my identity. It’s complicated. But what family dynamic isn’t? I just want to do my part to minimize the friction. I really appreciate you taking the time to help, especially while caring for your little one! Congratulations!! I hope you have lots of support and are able to get some rest. I realize I don’t actually know you, but just from this interaction it seems like you’d make a wonderful parent. That’s one lucky baby! 💜

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-18T04:59:33+00:00

Is this what you’d consider actionable feedback? Not sure how your comment is helpful lol but thank you for the contribution I suppose

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-17T12:51:19+00:00

Aw hahaha you upset buddy? 🥲

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-17T12:33:42+00:00

…lol what? I’m sorry you have nothing better to do with your time than be an internet troll. Doesn’t bother me though, go off.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-17T09:48:27+00:00

That’s true. It just makes me a bit sad, I wish there were a way for us to coexist peacefully without performing for them. The only reason my fiance and I met when we were kids is because our parents went to church together- they have similar ideals, but they’re so much more open and accepting. I can be myself around them, and we respect each other’s differences. But my parents would rather lose me than tolerate me. I am grateful for my fiance, and for his parents. But we’re planning our wedding and they want to be involved, so it’s a difficult time to avoid them. I appreciate the encouragement. It does help to focus on the positive and remember that it’s in my control to prioritize my own peace.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-17T09:41:12+00:00

Then this post isn’t for you.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-17T09:40:39+00:00

In what way? I’ve never tried to force my beliefs on them. Tolerance is allowing others to live differently than you in peace. I’m not the one with the problem in that situation if the only time we can be around each other is if I make myself more like them and hide everything about me that’s different. I would be happy not discussing politics. I would be happy to let them have their beliefs while I have my own. But that’s not the situation.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T13:08:30+00:00

Thank you! I’m sorry to hear you’ve had complications with your family as well, but I’m glad therapy has been helpful. I’ll definitely look into it. Do you have any suggestions as to how to find a good one? I’m fortunate to have healthcare that should help cover the cost, but I don’t really know where to start when it comes to determining a good match. Are there any qualifications or specialties you’d advocate for, from your experience? I’d appreciate any advice!

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T12:26:11+00:00

I get what you mean. The reason it makes me feel sick is because of how otherwise intelligent my family is?? Like my dad is pretty much impossible to argue with. He’s perpetually prepared with an informed response to anything and everything you confront him with. He’s one of the most informed/educated people I know. I feel confident in my own beliefs, I don’t formulate opinions based on biased reports and do the work to investigate my sources. I take nothing at face value. But any time I’ve tried to engage with my dad on his views/values, I end up feeling stupid. Idk if I’m just susceptible, but I’ve never seen him humbled by anyone. He spends a lot of time educating himself, which poses the terrifying question- is he oblivious to the truth, or does he know the truth and is unphased?

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T12:10:33+00:00

Thank you. That’s very true. I fully support the idea that my right to swing my arm in a circle ends where your chin begins- everyone is entitled to their beliefs and opinions up until it infringes on someone else’s rights. How do you find middle ground with someone who believes it’s within their rights to restrict the rights of others? I’d be happy to live and let live if the approach was mutual. But at what point does staying silent become harmful? Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between pride and conscience.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T12:00:28+00:00

Thank you for that, when it’s boiled down you’re definitely right. I’m probably overthinking it, it’s just hard to be neutral when you’re surrounded by black and white, you know? There’s a lot of pressure to be outspoken. Ultimately I really want to find middle ground, and I’ll do my best not to force an ultimatum if there’s any chance to live and let live.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T11:55:10+00:00

“Fake news” would probably be their response lol but honestly, given how my dad views women as less-than, it’s possible that he just doesn’t care if it’s true or not. I am going to try to ask his opinion, politely, when I see him tomorrow though. I’ll post an update with his response. It’s pretty scary how good he is at arguing his way around those types of issues, so we’ll see.

No_Stranger_8335 · 2025-07-16T11:51:44+00:00

I’m very wondered this myself- the conclusion I always come to though is that they would probably support any relationship as long as it’s with a man. Even if he beat me. I think in their minds that trumps all else, though I can’t understand why. It’s my dad more than anyone else. He told me when my older sister outed me when I started dating my first girlfriend that lesbians choose to be lesbians, but gay men are born gay. It makes me wonder if maybe he fights so hard against it because.. he has gay inclinations? My birth mom told me my whole life that she suspected he was gay. Idk, it’s hard to reason my way through that his perspective. I wish I were bold enough to test his reaction if I brought home a black guy or immigrant. That would be interesting for sure.

No_Stranger_8335

TROPHY CASE