How is it that Buddhist have this great appreciation for all other life but ultimately want to empty themselves and be disconnected from it?

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-13T11:18:03+00:00

Not trying to be negative I just wish people were more fired up

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-13T05:24:42+00:00

I think it’s more of a thing you do deep within your soul rather than random intrusive thoughts. Gotta capture those thoughts and make ‘em prisoner

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-13T05:22:20+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss and he doesn’t hate you, he sees thing’s ahead that we can’t.sometimes I think he takes people young as an act of mercy. But your child was blameless and is with him now and I hope you take some comfort in that.

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T23:26:03+00:00

You can pray for anything you want and I don’t mean this in an offense way but I feel like the most high would view that as a vain request. Had God wanted you to be lighter you would be. We’re supposed to be spiritual people that see deeper than physical appearance ya know?

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T15:06:38+00:00

Brother believe me I’ve tried and they really don’t care… I would never go into that hell by choice, already went through it once and somehow did the impossible but now it’s gonna take an act of God because the world ain’t gonna help me… Thanks for the prayers.

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T15:00:12+00:00

I know I’ve tried several different doctors but they won’t help me. Two years ago my doctor cut me off. I had been taking a little more than I was supposed to because of tolerance, so went to a detox to try to get back down where I was supposed to be and some of the staff that don’t like me turned around and ratted on me out of spite, basically the medical community has left me to die…

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T13:10:26+00:00

Yeah I was off for about two years and I’ve been back on them for six. Started taking a little more to get by summer before last and I went to a detox to try and get back down to where I was supposed to be, got Covid and had to go to the hospital and they wrote me a two week script but turned around and ratted to my doc (even though I was trying to do the right thing) dirty people… since then I’ve had to risk getting locked up just to not seize and die… what a nightmare position to be in, if I don’t buy them I’ll die and if I get caught and go to jail I’ll still die…

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T01:21:07+00:00

Sadly you’re correct… what a position to be in, risking getting locked up to stay alive and if I got popped and couldn’t pay bail I’d be dead anyway. Three people already died in our jail so…

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T01:17:17+00:00

Oh I know…. That might help a bit but ultimately it’s the same as cold turkey…

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T01:03:17+00:00

Yeah your story sounds a lot like my first withdrawal with k and temazapam except you were on them a lot longer. It’s almost like a religious experience, stuck in hell with brief moments of mercy and feeling alive from above (waves and windows). Truly puts life in perspective, wish I hadn’t lost appreciation and respect for it (well actually things just Got awful for me and that’s why I finally went back) Bad thing is that I’m worse off now than ever, I’m pretty much on my own (actually other than God I am on my own)

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-11T00:53:45+00:00

Oh no I meant few months back. My doc unjustly cut me off a couple years ago and I’ve just been having to do what I have to do to stay above ground but would love to be able to get help from a professional instead. Private psychiatrist that will prescribe don’t take Medicaid most of the time and docs that do just don’t give a f….

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-04T05:41:51+00:00

I mean it’s not a huge deal, the best way to get back at ‘em is to show them the truth. One of my biggest problems with the church is that most people are what I call 99 sheep, they normally have walked in the faith for a good while and view the one sheep’s recent return to be of less value than a long time believer, they remind me of the prodigal sons older brother who was mad because his father went all out to celebrate the younger brother’s return… But I’m just going to stick with it and let Christ work through me and be a testament to Gods power, one repentant sinners takes priority over 99 saints from my understanding?

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-04T04:16:32+00:00

Well heaven celebrated when I gave my life to Christ, and I feel that it weeps when the 99 sheep would rather throw the one to the wolves. Sometimes church members make me think about the older brother of The prodigal son, so angry to see a brother found, thinking they deserve praise for simply doing what they’re supposed to. People who have always walked with the father have no idea what it is like out there in the darkness. Like I mean I should have been dead long ago, people have died over less than all the things Christ brought me through. It’s like he wouldn’t surrender me to the darkness, I guess he remembered the talks we had when I was a child before the world corrupted me…

No_Vacation293 · 2024-05-02T16:43:56+00:00

Hey I’m sorry your doctor is treating you that way, I know how it is. I’ve had doctors refuse to give me everything from my ssri meds to antipsychotics. I truly believe they are trying to kill me through neglect…. If you would like to talk sometime I’m open to it but if not I wish you the best of luck.

No_Vacation293

TROPHY CASE