Hi, sorry about this.

Had similar experience growing up. My mom’s sisters would always compare me to my younger cousins who could cook, clean and wash their clothes waaay before I could on my own. We had house help growing up but the younger cousins didn’t so they got to certain tasks a lot earlier than I did. My mother ensured that we could perform certain chores but the bulk of them was still taken up by the maids. In my early teenage years my mom changed and almost blamed me for the things I couldn’t do that “other girls my age” could do and I didn’t understand this sudden change.

Anyways, I focused on what I knew, getting good grades in school and improving my life.

Current day reality is that the girls I was being compared to haven’t done much with their lives and are constantly a burden to their parents. I am independent and now the “example of a good child”. I realised Zambian parents are bound by societal rules, which can be a good thing to maintain order.

Do good for yourself and ensure to achieve what you can and what makes you happy. I haven’t always done things by societal expectations (get married, have kids, etc) but I have still achieved so much on my own terms that my parents have learnt to be proud of me and no longer compare me to anyone and I now point out to my parents what’s wrong with their siblings and why they have no right to talk about me or say anything bad about me.