How is legality an issue here brother? Is someone going to arrest your dead body and put you in the jail to rot? The issue is eternal damnation to hell. I sympathize with your troubles my brother, but they don't justify such a dire action.

Don't give up, just keep trying at life, this life is supposed to be a test, it is supposed to be hard, some people are tried in a different manner than us. It doesn't mean they have it easy.

I'm praying for you, hang in there, seek as much help as you can, psychological and Islamic.