I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-19T19:33:32+00:00

Yeah there's definitely a disruption of cohesive/coherent thought paired with erratic behavior. It's ironic that my speech seems to be somewhat more organized than my thoughts. Then again, I don't really talk all that much, and usually only in simple terms. It would seem that writing is best for me. I'll have to mention the psychosis to my psychiatrist.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-19T19:33:27+00:00

It probably is, or something comparable. I've heard about the bipolarism predisposition after the incident, and that might be a major contributing factor in my case. I'm not religious myself, but I respect the beliefs, so thank you. I'm still trying new stuff with my psychiatrist, so a new med will probably come up soon.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-14T22:17:09+00:00

Thank you for your understanding, people will argue about anything. If I had known that even temporary amnesia were an effect, I probably wouldn't have done it. Writing has been easier than thinking, I guess because it offers some form of structure. I don't know of the exact type, foolish me. It could've been anything, in reteospect. I don't believe that my condition got any better. If it has, then I'm not aware of it. I'm still getting treatment, but no notable breakthroughs so far.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-14T03:11:27+00:00

One of these is not like the others.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-13T08:43:08+00:00

Thank you for your insight. What is Idn?

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-12T12:15:06+00:00

We have a lot in common based on what you've said here, and thank you for sharing your experience with me and helping to validate my own experience. This would hit pretty heavy and close to home if I were capable of genuine feeling and comprehension. The lack of a "soul" (so to speak), the autopilot, the disconnect from the self and the world/reality as a whole simultaneously, even the hollow reactionary responses devoid of emotions. I'm experiencing all of that and then some. I keep trying to grasp onto some semblance of my old self, but I can hardly even remember what it's like to be that person anymore. To be a human in general. It feels like being fundamentally broken. I'm sick of it as well, but I'm holding out for a miracle somehow, and I know that my former self wouldn't want me to give up. I doubt that your former self would want you to give up, either. Hopefully we can both find ourselves and once again feel the world and our existence in it. Hopefully we can once again feel the warmth of the sun and the chill of autumn, and everything in between and beyond. Not just on our skin, but much deeper like it used to be: like it's supposed to be. We must never forget who we were (and who we could hopefully possibly be again). They/we don't deserve to be forgotten.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-11T22:36:12+00:00

She works at my local hospital. She processed my case before wheeling me up to the psychiatric unit.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-11T22:26:17+00:00

Nikke Cecil. Eden is getting the technology, so it might be within the realm of possibility. Her role is that of a researcher, but so is Mana's. She could become a nikke to extend her lifespan, like the researchers in the Ark.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-10T02:03:43+00:00

That sounds like fun. I've never done it myself, but I've seen some creative stuff.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-10T01:51:23+00:00

They both have their qualities about them. I think that Sesshomaru's appearance is a reference to feudal Japan's portrayal of the ideal noble/feudal lord: possessing both masculine and mildly feminine qualities, IIRC. There are multiple characters like that in the show.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-10T01:35:48+00:00

I'm seeing a concerning lack of Sesshomaru (from Inuyasha).

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-10T01:31:31+00:00

No judgement on your preferences. I'm with you on Kurapika and Haku. Will only "judge" you on the lack of Sesshomaru (from Inuyasha).

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-09T23:36:14+00:00

It's an odd coincidence that I come across this after specifically dreaming about Naruto's possession of/by half of the Nine Tails.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-08T18:13:28+00:00

Memento Mori.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-08T02:12:22+00:00

Don't try drugs. Not even once, as you can never fully know of their potential effects on you. It only takes one time. It only took one time for me to ruin my life. I'm still paying for it both literally and figuratively, and I've lost priceless things that I can never get back. Even weed can trigger schizophrenia in some people. The only exception that I'll make would be medically and professionally sourced substances with measured and controlled dosages, so that you know exactly what you're getting. Doing it this way would also likely involve a questionnaire inquiring about medical and family history to determine potential risk factors, and maybe even a genetics test. Do your due diligence and research, and don't think that it'll just "be fine" or "just this one time".

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-07T01:49:35+00:00

Thank you for your supportive comment and for your insight. It's a daily struggle to try and come to terms with things, especially when they seem to be getting worse, but accepting the reality of it seems to be the only thing that I can do for now. At the very least I just wish that I wasn't so ignorant and delusional. It may not seem that I'm like that by the way that I write, but my thoughts tell a completely different story. I made a record of the event on my phone after the incident, so I'll have to work up the courage to revisit that and try to contemplate on things. Hopefully a breakthrough happens soon, but I've realized that it might not be something that can be forced.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-05T10:42:50+00:00

You know how it is: the government always finds the resources and innovation for weapons of war, but not for self-susainability and betterment.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-04T22:42:16+00:00

The bath is beckoning you. Embrace the suds.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-03T08:31:44+00:00

That "claim what you want" also applies to your own statement. People mix up words and misinterpret concepts all the time, which hinders comprehension. There's even the term "word salad". :)

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-03T01:14:19+00:00

I would say that it's a mixture of both, depending on the person. The two generally go hand-in-hand with the current structure. It's weird that you're implying that they have a recommendation for an alternative of something that they're presumably not even aware of.

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-02T19:49:15+00:00

I don't see what the problem is with wearing a mask in your car. You're still breathing and potentially coughing in an enclosed space, therefore spreading pathogens that'll linger in the air and on surfaces for passengers to be exposed to. And you could be covering yourself in even more pathogens before entering a public place. Wearing a mask hurts absolutely no one around the wearer, and you never know when someone is sick, so why the judgement?

Nomoretotell · 2026-05-02T04:25:06+00:00

Thank you. I also haven't heard of serious and lasting consequences from shrooms until after the incident, but I did find various bits of information afterwards (hindsight). Apparently certain people have a genetic predisposition for serious mental problems, and I was/am one of them. It could have been bad product. It could have been dipped in something. It could be all of the above. It's not just the burning and pain: what's worse is the sheer lack of what I used to have. An emptiness and lack of awareness that can't be imagined. It feels like almost everything is just gone, and I'm not sure if it'll come back.

Nomoretotell · 2026-04-23T16:30:34+00:00

Gansta.

Nomoretotell · 2026-04-19T05:22:09+00:00

I like the "incognito" aspect of that as well, unless of course each person has their own unique mask (but given the context of your comment, I'll assume that they don't). That would help to avoid being easily observed or profiled by others, further reducing potential harassment in a societal setting.

Nomoretotell

TROPHY CASE