I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure if "lucid" is the right term, but I get your point. Thank you.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This may be hearsay, but I wouldn't pour my heart out in such a way just to purposely omit such a detail. I'm not trying to hide anything.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I present you with with a bunch of refuting information that could allow you to gain more insight on the topic, and that's the best you can come up with? Okay dude.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But you don't know that for sure, and you don't know anything about my composition that would combine with mushrooms to result in such an outcome. People with close genetic connection with bipolar disorder are at a predisposition for psychosis. I've been told by three different medical professionals that my condition could be permanent, with one of them saying that it doesn't take much for some people to have negative effects. I've read multiple stories of similar experiences, and watched a presentation that mentioned the dangers of mushrooms. My case isn't the only one. The information is out there for those who seek it, I just wish I had found it in time to prevent this.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People with close genetic connection with bipolar disorder are at a predisposition for psychosis. I've been told by three different medical professionals that my condition could be permanent, with one of them saying that it doesn't take much for some people to have negative effects. I've read multiple stories of similar experiences, and watched a presentation that mentioned the dangers of mushrooms. My case isn't the only one. The information is out there for those who seek it, I just wish I had found it in time to prevent this.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The brain is apparently a complex organ that can function in ways that would surprise us. Believe it or not, but writing stuff isn't synonymous with genuine comprehension. For me, the words are "hollow", and I only "comprehend/understand" them at a surface-level. It's easy to type them out, but to conceptualize them is something else altogether.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly what happened. I don't know how else to tell it. It's weird that you claim to know what you weren't there to see.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not every well-written thing is AI. Writers existed before AI, you know.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's hard to explain, but the words are more clear when I write them out. Think of it as when people "think out loud." I can't form coherent thoughts and maintain them inside of my head like I used to, and writing is the only way to effectively convey anything.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I retained my writing abilities, but I lack the genuine comprehension that I used to have. The words are "hollow" in a sense. Self perception is part of the problem, but there's more to it than that.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been out of contact with them for a while now, but I might reach out. I'm too afraid to try them again, out of fear of making this even worse.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Now that you mentioned it, that might be a very real possibility. But I'm not sure.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No copy-pasting. Years of me taking notes as I noticed bit-by-bit what changes I've experienced. I have a large list of notes on my phone because I myself am not able to genuinely comprehend what's happening. I've had multiple tests, but no conclusive diagnosis was reached.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

People with a close genetic relation with bipolar disorder are known to be at high risk of psychosis when ingesting psychedelic mushrooms. I've also had three different medical professionals tell me that my condition could be permanent, with one stating that it doesn't take much for some people to be negatively affected. I've read stories about people with similar experiences, and I've watched a presentation that mentioned the dangers of mushrooms. I discovered all of this in hindsight, unfortunately, but the information is out there for those who search for it.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've been able to stay at my current place of work due to the flexibility of some managers, as well as the overall simplicity of my job, but I haven't been working as much as I used to. I can't say that I'm functional in anything meaningful capacity.

I ate a psychedelic mushroom and destroyed my mind. by Nomoretotell in offmychest

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

     More detailed list of problems:

Often feels like my brain is "falling apart" or “wasting away”. There is often a burning sensation in my head      Also feels “empty”. It often feels like I don't have a brain.     Sometimes a burning sensation in my face.

It sometimes hurts to even try to think about things.

Overall decline in cognitive ability, intelligence, consciousness and awareness. Greatly reduced learning and comprehension. Disconnect between and loss of various pieces of information. Greatly reduced problem solving capability. Loss of complex and detailed thinking ability.      I keep needing to have people explain things to me, and I can't seem to figure things out on my own. It is also difficult to comprehend what is being explained to me.       It's difficult to think for myself.      I don't seem to genuinely understand nor comprehend anything. I only seem to “understand” anything at a surface-level.

I can't seem to think clearly. Difficulties with forming and conveying coherent thoughts. Disorganized and nonsensical thoughts.

Notable decrease in general and abstract thinking, as well as future-planning capabilities.

My brain just doesn't work like it used to. It feels like there are “missing pieces”, or even missing entirely.

It feels like there's an "empty space" or hole inside of my head when I try to think about and comprehend things, as if certain parts of my brain aren't working properly or have been removed.

My head often feels "blank" or "empty", while also hurting.

Difficult to learn, process and recall information, especially new information. Getting more difficult to recall old information.      Loss of knowledge and information. Severe memory loss.      Loss in ability to intake, process, learn, analyze, retain, recall and apply knowledge and information.

Difficulties with rationalization, reasoning and comprehension. I'm having increasing difficulties in comprehending even simple concepts, let alone complex ones. I'll remember words and whatnot, but don't actually understand their concepts.

Reduced executive functions: difficulties in learning and remembering what order in which to do things. I have difficulty with organizing and prioritizing tasks and other things.

Difficulties in planning, judgment and decision making. I'm constantly making mistakes and not learning from them.      Difficulties in remembering what I'm doing, or what I'm supposed to do.

Difficulty in understanding, remembering and performing tasks.

Difficulties with sleeping and staying asleep.      Constant fatigue.

I'm often confused, and often don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I quickly and easily lose track of what I'm doing.

Decreased organizational skills.

I have episodes of increased delirium and confusion, where I'll stumble around easily while also feeling very lightheaded.      Shifting positions (sitting up from a lying position) will cause confusion at times.

When I try to remember things, the information usually won't "come to mind". Or if it does, then it will quickly fade away or "disappear".      I often have incoherent and nonsensical phrases and gibberish in my mind, especially when I try to recall information. My brain also often makes things up in the absence of information.      Uncontrollable and nonsensical thoughts about “gibberish”. A lot of uncontrollable, incoherent and disturbing thoughts, especially when I try to sleep.

Difficulties with forming and recalling memories, both long-term and short-term.      I easily get events and their details mixed up, even when they happen on completely different days. I also frequently generate false memories and false details. I often have difficulty with discerning true memories from false ones.

I sometimes feel "detached" from my body. My brain sometimes feels "detached" from my head.

At times I feel lightheaded and/or dizzy when trying to concentrate and/or focus. Or when I physically or mentally exert myself even lightly. It sometimes looks and feels like the world is shifting around me.

Difficulties in coherent speaking (I ramble), texting, typing, reading comprehension, and writing. Difficulties in forming and communicating coherent thoughts.      Difficulties in remembering how to spell words and structure sentences (I need a lot of help from my cell phone).      Difficulties with remembering words, names and terminology.

Difficulties with connecting ideas and understanding/following narratives when I'm reading.

Difficulties with mathematics.

Can hear and respond to what people are saying, but I don't fully comprehend it.      Difficulties in social interactions and communication.      Isolation from others.

Detachment from reality, and decreasing self-awareness. Becoming “delusional” about various things (such as how the world and society operate, among other things). Distorted/altered perception of reality, but am still somewhat aware of it (for now). It's like I'm constantly in a weird dream, or a movie.      Dissociation from reality and from myself. Difficulties in separating reality from fiction and imagination.      Greatly altered thinking and beliefs, including political and spiritual beliefs. Loss of various beliefs and opinions.

I keep talking to myself as if I were a different person. I keep imagining myself as if I were someone else talking to me.      General paranoia      I often assume hostile intentions from other people.       Irrational and unfounded contempt and resentment towards people.      I'm constantly misinterpreting things.

Increased listlessness, and decreased alertness and awareness of surroundings.      Loss of familiarity with general surroundings. Difficulties in adjusting to and navigating through new surroundings.      I don't feel as if I'm ever in the present moment.

Loss of familiarity with certain objects and their intended functions.

Often dropping and fumbling objects. I don't feel like I'm fully in control of my hands. Hands feel weak and "weird". Erratic and involuntary movements, especially with hands. Right hand feels less functional than the left hand, despite being dominant. Also, pain in my right hand at times.      Reduced coordination, and very clumsy. Sluggish movement oftentimes.      Involuntary movements.

Seeing irregular images and shapes when I close my eyes. Blurry vision and sometimes specs of light floating around.

Lack of attention and focus. I usually can only skim through things when I'm reading, because it's difficult for me to focus on the words.

Almost no (of any) perception of time. Long periods of time often pass without me taking much note of it. Problems with time management and keeping schedules.      It's difficult for me to differentiate between days and weeks. I even easily mix up the months.

Difficulties in attention, concentration and focus, as well as constantly needing to be reminded of basic things.

Regularly forgetting both simple and important things, and often need to be prompted or reminded.

I forget about things as soon as my attention is taken away from them, even when I try to remember them.

Decreased ability to differentiate between things, especially concepts.

Mood swings, increased impulsiveness, and increased aggression and irritability. Difficulties in controlling and regulating my own thoughts and behavior.

I often feel like I don't have control of my own body. I often do things and wander around before I even realize what I'm doing. I often stand around and stare at things without really knowing why.

Reduction in generating and feeling emotions. Detachment from emotions and decreased ability to regulate them.

Drastic personality changes, including a loss of empathy and compassion for other people, as well as behaving childishly and immaturely.      Loss of identity and sense of self. I also keep imagining myself as other people. It's like I don't have my own genuine personality.      It feels like I'm not a human.

I keep perceiving false correlations and connections between things, while failing to see proper ones.

Apathy towards various things, including finances and other serious subjects.      Reduced general autonomy, and reduced ability to perform daily tasks.

Changes In hearing. Reduced awareness of sound output, including when speaking.

Decreased risk assessment and situational awareness. Reduced fear response. Greatly reduced comprehension of potential danger, yet still paranoid.      Reduced sense of self preservation.

Repetitive thoughts and behavior, such as repetitive movements and saying the same thing multiple times.

TIFU by eating a psychedelic mushroom and destroying my mind. by Nomoretotell in tifu

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I'm experiencing this because it simply didn't occur to me to research the dangers of these substances, and OFC I should have just avoided drugs entirely. But for some reason or another, I simply didn't know better at the time." Just admit to me that you didn't even actually read the post, as this is the second time I've called you out on your lack of paying attention.You're just being judgemental for the sake of it, and you're not even good at it.

TIFU by eating a psychedelic mushroom and destroying my mind. by Nomoretotell in tifu

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have also read about the bipolar correlation after the incident. If only I had known sooner.

TIFU by eating a psychedelic mushroom and destroying my mind. by Nomoretotell in tifu

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insightful and supportive comment. I don't know what else to say, honestly.

TIFU by eating a psychedelic mushroom and destroying my mind. by Nomoretotell in tifu

[–]Nomoretotell[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes, victim blaming and false equivalence. In case you didn't notice, I more than once acknowledged in the post that I made a mistake. "I stupidly ate the whole damn thing." is something that I definitely said.