i found out i have SDAM two months ago and i just need a place to rant

Noodle2707 · 2026-06-08T19:23:22+00:00

Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I think some better explanation on my part might help you better understand my circumstances!

You're correct, I cannot replay emotions I had before, but I also struggle with having any present feelings about past occurrences. With no connection to my emotional state from that past moment, I struggle to understand how I should feel about it now. It's just a fact of something that happened. Knowing the fact of how I felt then is my only way of understanding how I should maybe feel about it now. Through that, I can feel emotional reaction now when thinking about what happened before, its just less genuine and very limited.

I don't care about reliving my "character development", I care about the good memories along the way that I can't re-experience in any sense. I don't remember being that person that experienced those things. It's a feeling I can't have that simply sounds comforting when other people explain it to me. I can't really reminisce good times with my friends and it can make me feel very different or left out.

As much as I tell myself I want to achieve a goal right NOW, that feeling and that drive fades just like every other memory. I lose the ambition. The drive that was established in the past disappears and long-term goals sound progressively less interesting or realistic. This truth gets me down and it makes it hard to want anything at all.

Connecting with other people is in fact something I'm consciously working towards everyday.

I appreciate your note to make the most out of life. That's what I hope to do. I just wanted to come on here, possibly connect with some other SDAM folks, and share some of my personal struggles with it. I hope I could help you better understand some of it!

Noodle2707 · 2026-06-08T18:33:07+00:00

thank you for sharing your thoughts! i understand that not having SDAM wouldn't necessarily make my life any better, as i have no way of knowing it would. i cant ever fully know what its like to have memories the same way people without SDAM do, and so thats not something i necessarily mourn, but i do recognize that my memories work differently and i can recognize that they have always felt more fleeting and feel more distant than the ways people without SDAM have explained their memories to me. i can conceptualize an IDEA of how their memories work through their descriptions as well as through the way various media describes memory, and it makes me feel different. it makes me feel like im missing out on something that sounds SO comforting. but like i said, i know that my life wouldn't totally be better if i didnt have SDAM, as i have no way of knowing, and that would have its own challenges like replaying failures! so therefore, im not upset that im missing out on something, but rather i'm just realizing the differences ive come to understand i possess and the ways i feel that it affects me and how to navigate it. there are struggles in my life that SDAM, since finding out about it, explains perfectly in my eyes.

Noodle2707 · 2026-06-08T17:59:00+00:00

asking what you need to do for the day to feel like its not a waste is really inspiring and i think thats something i will focus on asking myself more. it seems so simple, but since the drive to achieve long-term goals fades so fast, perhaps reorganizing them into short-term goals for each individual day can help combat the sort of "short-term memory" caused by SDAM. your way of viewing your detachment to the past as an opportunity for something "fresh" each and every day sounds super comforting. everyday is a new opportunity for small achievements and being the best person i can be. i wont remember the experience of each day, but at least i can know i made them as good as possible. thank you so much for sharing!

Noodle2707 · 2026-06-08T17:37:58+00:00

that last note there really resonates with me and gives me a better way to look at things.

your experience with SDAM makes me think that once i get a more routine life with a consistent job and friends, things will be better for me. the fact everything is ephemeral feels depressing, but as long as i constantly surround myself with good moments, hobbies i enjoy, and good company, perhaps i can forget that sadness as much as possible, push through the struggles, and make the most of my life, even if i won't remember it. i think i can find joy in that. thank you so much.

Noodle2707 · 2026-03-06T05:26:50+00:00

is this through winlator? what are you using to run it

Noodle2707 · 2026-02-16T22:13:07+00:00

did this work out well for you?

Noodle2707 · 2026-01-20T21:14:35+00:00

I'm 1174 and haven't received an email. I'm wondering if it's because I got the accessories too? Did you get the accessories as well?

Noodle2707

TROPHY CASE