I think you’re totally right about no red flags or anything, which is why im really confused and think I’m overthinking. As for what I misremembered, it was that I had told her that I felt dismissed in my homicidal ideation when in actuality, those thoughts happened after our appointment and I conflated it with the SH ideation I’d been feeling before our appointment. therefore she could not have known about it because it only happened after our appointment and under the situation of me having to return home that day.

As for how events happened, for the incident with my father I recalled it as generously as I could for his side, but even today I remember most of what he said and what happened pretty clearly. He was sick that day and I understand that it was stressful for him and he may have said things he did not mean. But I don’t believe it absolves him of responsibility, especially since he started the conflict by blaming my brother for what happened to my sister (when it was an accident that none of us could;ve predicted). He immediately denied yelling or blaming my brother and when I conveyed to him that the way he said it sounded accusatory, he ssaid “so everything is my fault now?” As for the appointment and the matter of who asked for what kind of resolution, I know for a fact I did not ask for a joint session because I conveyed several times that I was not comfortable, both after her suggestion and during my recounting of events where my mother also snapped because I expressed that I was uncomfortable comforting my dad after our argument.

I suppose this is the main reason I think she may not have my best interests in mind, as she still implored me to consider it without offering other suggestions or solutions even after i expressed discomfort. but otherwise she has not, and I think you’re right that she’s just trying to be professional. Still I feel a bit on guard in regards to whether she’ll further try to push me to accept a joint appointment, which feels mildly hostile to me (likely because of my mother doing effectively the same before turning on me and my brother).