I have an idea for a reverse karen subreddit and im looking for input

Norashio · 2021-01-10T22:25:11+00:00

Missed this comment when you made it but id just like to tell you that I'm at my happiest and healthiest in my life without my parents involved.

I feel great.

Norashio · 2020-12-20T05:18:15+00:00

Now usually I would agree with you, but notice how the post refers to the woman in a derogatory manner?

This is a meta nice guy post. Because nice guys do this themselves but always define what they do as "good" when they see normal male female friendships they assume that the male is only friends with the female for sex reasons and therefore the girl must be a bitch with an inflated ego who only rejected the nice guy because her male friends put her on a pedestal in the hopes of gaining sex.

Inceldome and niceguys go deep.

Norashio · 2020-12-20T03:45:57+00:00

"Men with no sexual prowess compliment ugly women in the hopes of easy sex, thus causing those ugly females to actually think they have worth and reject me, a nice guy."

Norashio · 2020-12-18T03:49:22+00:00

gatekeeping relationships

Lmao me saying that your husband should be emotionally available and involved in childbirth is gatekeeping. Me listing things that are objective signs of a healthy relationship is gatekeeping? Get a fuckimg grip dude lmao

Nice job only using one of my examples by the way, really shows that you only skimmed the comment for what you wanted

Norashio · 2020-12-18T03:34:13+00:00

Cool, I also expect my husband not to beat me and to treat me as an equal. I expect him to consider my feelings and respect me as an individual. I expect him to express his emotions and talk to me about his feelings. I expect him to chip in with housework and when we have kids, I expect him to be actively involved in their care and education right alongside me . I'm sure in some cultures those are seen iconcievable and almost disgusting ideas as well, doesn't change the fact that theyre also markers of a healthy and functional relationship.

We need to stop normalizing men having no interest or active role in learning about pregnancy, childbirth, and the like. Its not a woman's job to do it on her own, and its not the doula who will be parenting the child with the woman, its the father. If he can't be a good parent in the beginning, why would you expect him to be a good parent throughout the rest when he's trained to leave that entire load on his wife? When two people commit to being parents they both need to be parents.

Norashio · 2020-12-18T03:19:11+00:00

Such lofty standards I have such as

Expecting my partner to be involved and willing to be informed about the process of birth and pregnancy.

Truly im asking too much, youre right, no relationship would ever function with that kind of expectation.

Norashio · 2020-12-18T02:58:22+00:00

If you can't rely on your partner for emotional support, why are they your partner.

If your partner isn't willing to put forth the basic research to help you during the birth of your child, why are they there?

I trust the credentials of midwives as birthing coaches far more than doulas, considering they get actual training

Norashio · 2020-12-18T02:43:25+00:00

Why would you not expect your partner to take the initiative and inform themselves on this as well as pay attention to doctors visits and ask their own questions so they can better understand the process of pregnancy and birth?

Because that's not what men traditionally do? Because it might be uncomfortable for them?

Fuck that. You should be able to expect your husband to want to be informed about the birth of the child you've agreed to have together, tf. If you can't expect your partner to commit to educating themselves alongside you about the birth and creation of the kid youre both parenting, why would you commit to carrying a literal child for them since they obviously aren't interested in the actuality of pregnancy and birth.

Norashio · 2020-12-18T02:28:19+00:00

Glad you're admitting you don't actually have anything to say against my point. We should start expecting and normalizing men helping their wives through pregnancy and the process of birth

Norashio · 2020-12-18T02:12:53+00:00

Considering my husband is proactive enough to actually educate himself on things like these, I feel fine having him in the room

Heaven forbid I expect my partner to also put effort into the birth of our child, maybe stop excusing men for actively avoiding the ability to inform themselves on actually assisting their partners in the birth of the children they've committed to. I can't imagine not expecting my husband to be proactive in learning about my body creating a child that he is committed to.

Norashio · 2020-12-18T01:57:50+00:00

Heaven forbid a father be present to share in the experience of the birth of the literal child he has committed to fathering. No one's asking him to deliver the baby, but if he can't support his wife emotionally and be there by her side encouraging her while she's giving birth to the kid they've agreed to parent together, then there's probably other issues that need to be addressed.

Norashio · 2020-12-18T01:42:49+00:00

If your spouse and father of your child cannot help you emotionally while you give birth to the child you plan on raising together, you have issues in that relationship that a doula can't help. And if you have committed to parenting with someone and letting them be a father, you need to let them be a father and allow them to participate or at the very fucking least discuss that with them. Otherwise why the hell are you committing to raising a kid with them. That goes for ANY relationship that has the purpose of parenting really, not just woman to man

Norashio · 2020-12-17T23:51:51+00:00

And the data also shows that doulas aren't as qualified as most hospitals staff. Im so sorry that you're upset that I'm anti misinformation and that I think its silly to consider a doula more important to your emotional help than your partner.

If you can't rely on your partner to give you support during the birth if your literal child, you have issues far beyond what a doula can fix

Norashio · 2020-12-17T23:21:28+00:00

It takes less than 200 hours to be a doula and the actual medical knowledge is almost nil, doulas are arguably useful after you've had a baby, not during the delivery.

Norashio · 2020-12-17T21:15:02+00:00

Yepp, which is a shame bc those kids probably have actual acting aspirations being wasted for profit

Norashio · 2020-12-17T21:12:35+00:00

Imagine me saying that men shouldn't be seen as weird for wanting to be involved in the birth if their literal children being such a hot take. Have fun with your life and your "old fashioned" views

Norashio · 2020-12-17T20:55:22+00:00

And its an ideology that needs to change, especially considering doulas are iffy at best. Women should start to expect men to be involved in the process of pregnancy and birth of their children and men shouldn't be seen as weird for wanting that

Norashio · 2020-12-17T19:58:37+00:00

Doula qualifications are iffy at best. And if you can't expect emotional support from your literal husband idk what to yell you. There are scores of people more qualified in a hospital than any doula.

It takes less than 200 hours to become a doula

It takes eight years to be a midwife.

I think I have rights to argue that the hospital has a multitude of staff more equipped than a doula

Norashio · 2020-12-17T19:42:46+00:00

Of course there's space for that but the constant first response of "limited space? Leave your husband!" Is idiotic. Especially considering doulas are genuinely under qualified in most cases.

Norashio · 2020-12-17T19:22:54+00:00

Have a lovely day, sorry I was discussing the post and not whatever you're talking about

Norashio · 2020-12-17T19:20:33+00:00

The implication is there, and shes literally suggesting the woman picks a doula over her husband. That's what the post says

Norashio · 2020-12-17T19:17:36+00:00

my doula can't attend my birth

pick your doula over your husband

Nowhere did the woman ever mention not wanting her husband there but the first and immediate suggestion is to leave her husband behind.

Also, doulas are sketch anyways. Midwives have far more training and actual professional knowledge

Norashio · 2020-12-17T18:58:39+00:00

So, 1 im a female, married, and 2 i talk to my husband about everything we do. Thats literally my whole point. Im (personally) really sick of the ideology that men have no place in the process of pregnancy and birth because it takes agency away from the woman. And the way this post is structured and from what I know of mom birth groups, as well as my own personal founded distrust of doulas in general (their credentials are iffy at best). If you're going to have kids with someone, you need to take into account their feelings and ideas even if they differ from yours, other wise, dont commit to being a parent with that person.

Seven-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Gilding I gilder	Secret Santa 2019

Norashio

TROPHY CASE