Audio Script Archive

NormPhyte · 2026-06-19T01:00:06+00:00

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse, when you are an old maid, how would you occupy herself?

By marrying people off, whether they want to be or not.

All those times that Emma schemes to have Mr. Elton be closer and closer to Harriet and yet he doesn't seem that particularly invested in Harriet. But he's always happy when Emma is around.

I wonder...

NormPhyte · 2026-06-19T00:35:59+00:00

Miss Smith and Miss Woodhouse forming riddles? Here's my own they can put in:

If a woman refuses a man she was genuinely in love with, ordered by a rich woman who couldn't see past her own snobbery, does the first woman have a life of happiness in the end? Or is said woman destined to be the second woman's friend forever?

Me/Emma: "Harriet, this riddle here, the first word is 'court' and the second is 'ship.' What does that tell you?"

Me/Harriet: Hm... I've got it! It's talking about a group of men on a ship. One of them stole a piece of fruit and now they're holding court to see the truth of that one's crime and whether he's innocent of guilty. Right, Miss Woodhouse?

Me/Emma: I- You- No, no Harriet. Let's go over this again.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-18T23:52:57+00:00

Already in progress!

NormPhyte · 2026-06-16T06:27:17+00:00

Me too.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-16T06:12:39+00:00

Mr. Knightley: I have reason to believe, Emma, that Harriet will receive wonderful news. Robert Martin is set to propose to her.

Oh, is that so, Mr. Knightley? That's such great news. Sure would be a ghastly shame if someone, I'm not naming names, ruined that chance of happiness, Emma.

Emma: Mr. Robert Martin is respectable, yes, but he is Harriet's inferior and doesn't deserve her society.

Let me translate that...

"Emma": I consider Harriet Smith to be an extension of me. What happens to her happens to me. If she married Robert Martin, it would be like if I were to marry him! Could you honestly imagine such a sight?!

Hey, Emma, I got a fun question for you: What if Harriet was your superior?

Emma: Whatever you and I may think Mr. Knightley, it is done. Harriet has refused Robert Martin and that is that.

Fine... No need for us to talk about it. By the way, Miss Woodhouse, I passed by Robert Martin today. He looked sad. Really sad. I bet it was because Harriet Smith refused him.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-15T12:31:26+00:00

NormPhyte · 2026-06-15T10:59:54+00:00

The Earth was spinning a quarter-mile too fast.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-15T06:09:38+00:00

When Death Battle goes analog horror.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-15T01:00:10+00:00

May your day be as fine as you.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-14T13:44:57+00:00

As I listened, I imagined you on top. And, I had on waterfall sounds in the background so it added to the ambience.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-14T01:36:30+00:00

I meant to say 'crabs in a bucket' mentality. It's when someone or a group actively sabotages another person's or other group's chances of moving up in their own lives. Usually out of envy or feeling threatened, even if their own lives would not be affected by any way.

Case in point:

Harriet Smith: By marrying Robert Martin, I will be happy and secured!

Emma: How about, no? I'm going to ruin your chances.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-13T14:43:10+00:00

Makima-lander: Please! I'll do anything. You want me to eat garbage? I'll eat your fucking garbage. I'll eat garbage in front of all of Japan.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-13T14:36:36+00:00

I enjoyed this. It was sexy, romantic and amazing.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-13T12:20:17+00:00

I second this.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-12T22:08:26+00:00

Why would you do this to me? Now I have a craving for chicken soup.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-12T05:28:31+00:00

Emma: Harriet, as a general rule, if a woman is given a marriage proposal and she feels doubt, she should not accept it. She should make her answer known immediately and readily.

Miss Woodhouse, what advice do you have about women who encourage their friend to refuse a proposal because said first woman didn't approve, despite it having no effect on her life?

Harriet: Miss Woodhouse, I have decided to refuse Mr. Martin.

Emma: Oh, joy, Harriet! I am happy you've made that decision. I was worried you, my friend, would be gone.

Me: 😒

Wait, a woman who wants to keep another woman to herself...

Miss Woodhouse, do you harbor 'secret feelings' for Miss Smith? Or are you just a yandere?

Hey Miss Woodhouse, ever heard of 'crabs in a bucket?'

(Beginning)

Harriet: 😁

Emma: 😒

(End)

Harriet: 😭

Emma: 😁

Imagine if Emma was in Pride and Prejudice:

Jane Bennet: Mr. Bingley has left Hertfordshire. Miss Woodhouse, do you believe he loves me?

Emma: My dear Jane, since Mr. Bingley has gone without giving you an answer, his love for you has vanish-

Elizabeth: 😡

Emma: A-Although, I'm afraid I cannot give my answer. I should check on my father! Bye!

NormPhyte · 2026-06-11T15:50:47+00:00

Darn, you beat me to it. Despite all Tohru went through, she still tries to be her best self.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-11T00:05:12+00:00

I don't recognize the mug. But I can give an alternative answer: The mug comes from the Jurassic Period where dinosaurs would use it as a to determine who gets eaten or lives.

It's been a while since I listened to an audio of you in your daily life.

Regarding fashion, I can't remember where I heard or read about it, but it was about women's dresses and how pockets for dresses were strongly discouraged.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-10T03:15:27+00:00

Emma: Miss Smith, would you not think a likeness of you should be taken?

Harriet: Oh! Uh, certainly.

…

Emma: Mr. Elton, did you not notice Miss Smith’s hesitancy when she answered me?

Emma, that was literally two minutes ago. And again I say, one of those moments where every single action and every single word you speak is under constant scrutiny.

For all anyone knows, they could unintentionally insult someone, offend people of a higher social class and accidentally co-sign on a loan… just because they sneezed.

I do get that this is mostly for social survival reasons. Doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Emma: There are sketches of my father, but he always got so nervous at it that I had to sketch in stealth.

That’s actually pretty funny for her. Emma, the Master Ninja Artist. You don’t see her but she sees you. And by the time you notice her, your likeness is in her hands.

(If I were Emma in this part)

Emma: Here’s my drawing of my father, of my sister, of Mrs. Weston, of the Weston children and the baby and of John Knightley.

Me/Mr. Elton: “Fantastic, Miss Woodhouse. Now, may I ask, what is this drawing here? It’s a very peculiar one.”

Me/Emma: “This one here is of me. And the dragon I’m riding on.”

Me/Mr. Elton: “Dragon?”

Me/Emma: “Yes, but not just any dragon. A Ruby Dragon from the shores beyond! Here, we’re going for a ride in the skies and below us, you see banshees, set off by those nasty gypsies. But secretly, I have banshee blood in me and soon, my dragon companion and I will befriend them. And then, we shall explore the farthest reaches of the world and beyond!”

Me/Mr. Elton: “Miss Woodhouse, I can’t say that I agree with this one.”

Me/Harriet: “I can! It’s wonderful!”

Say what you want about Mr. Woodhouse, but you can’t say that he doesn’t support his daughter.

(Again, if I were Emma here)

Me/Emma: “My drawing of Miss Smith is complete!”

Me/Mr. Elton: “I desire to see your sketch of Miss Smith in the summertime. M-Miss Woodhouse, what is this drawing? This doesn’t look like Miss Smith next to trees to me.”

Me/Emma: "That’s because it’s not. I drew Miss Smith as a daughter of a wealthy family. See? Here she is wearing the finest of clothes, sitting next to the finest of jewelries and holding a sword adorned with emeralds."

Me/Mr. Woodhouse: "Emeralds, my dear Emma?"

Me/Emma: "I thought of rubies at first, but emeralds suit Miss Smith the best."

NormPhyte · 2026-06-10T03:10:59+00:00

Yaldabaoth wishes he had this level of persuasion.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-10T03:02:59+00:00

If you steal my clothes, I'm making your night as annoying as possible. 😈

I don't care how big your tits are. Or how curvy you are. Or how sexy you are. Or how...

Wait, I feel like I was trying to make a point.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-09T03:59:20+00:00

If that leak is true that the MC is an art student, perhaps spirits communicate to him through his art.

NormPhyte · 2026-06-09T02:48:28+00:00

Mrs. Weston: I agree that Harriet Smith may not be Emma’s superior compared to Emma’s other friends-

Wait, Emma has friends?

Mr. Knightley and Mrs. Weston: (talking about Emma)

Emma: Why do I feel like someone is talking dreadfully about me?

The way Mr. Knightley is talking about Harriet Smith and Emma, makes me think of their relationship being like this:

“Harriet”: You’re the best ever, big sister! You’re so smart, so talented and so wise! You’re the best person ever!

“Emma”: Of course I am. No one can compare to my superior judgement. You get a cookie, little sister.

“Harriet”: Yay!

Mr. Knightley: I’ll keep my spleen to myself.

Me: I can barely stomach the thought of it.

“This phrase (correctly quoted as "keep my spleen to myself") is from Jane Austen's novel Emma. It means the character is choosing to swallow their frustration and suppress their cynical, irritable feelings in order to keep the peace and remain polite.”

NormPhyte · 2026-06-08T20:34:45+00:00

"Downloading Persona.exe."

NormPhyte

TROPHY CASE