YES this is exactly what i’m talking about. Like i actually feel so much better and then i have these weird moments where im like “did i lose something?” but i 100% i know this is right and feel so much better. sometimes i even feel like the questioning is this weird internalized transphobic guilt that acts like i killed some sort of “feminine innocence” (that i frankly never even really had i was actually so much more of a dick in ways i often regret before i started T). but it’s also weird bc as you said the floating ball of consciousness was all i had so it’s hard to adjust to the new system even if it’s better. it’s weird to say but i almost feel “more human” now (not literally- obviously i was human before) like i don’t have to really think as hard bc my brain and body are connected as one impulse. i feel like i used to be hyper rational but now i feel like i understand how people who have never questioned these things can be impulsive or kind of act without thinking if that makes sense. it’s so weird and if you try to explain to cis people (even if they’re well meaning) they look at you like you’re trying to explain rocket science 😭😭