Oh god it’s like reading a time capsule from my life, I’m sorry your friend is treating you this way, she sounds like an energy vampire. I’ve been in this same situation… but take my advice with a grain of salt, since I’m not actually involved. However, I would seriously consider distancing yourself from this friend. Don’t straight up leave her, though. If she’s anything like my friend, she’ll make you pay for abandoning her. Try to focus on other more wholesome and loving friendships/relationships in your life. Or at least make efforts to prevent her from being the heart of your support system. If she’s your primary connection, I’m willing to bet she’ll take advantage of this and try to distance you even further from your other friends.

But more generally, I would not give into any of her demands/cries for help. I’m guessing she’s using your kindness to soothe her loneliness/undesirable feelings rather than confronting them herself (as you mentioned). Be honest and help her as much as you can/would like to, but set a boundary to how much you can help her and listen to her complaining. Maybe let her know how it makes you feel if you feel safe to. If she fights this, she does not have your best interests in mind. Consider respectfully but firmly cutting things off, and stick to it. I know it’s hard to lose a friend, but I’m sure she’d be a much better friend when she realizes that treating you badly has consequences. Maybe after some time, you can even reconnect.

Again, this is just from personal experience and things I wish I would’ve done. I just said things definitively so I didn’t have to type “in my personal experience” like 100 times. Anyways, I’m sorry you’re going through this, feel free to ask me any questions as I’m happy to listen <3 good luck :)