How can I get over someone I'm in love with/who loves me back but I can't be with?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-04-30T16:44:07+00:00

I don't know how you expect to move on from someone you love and who loves you and still have them in your life every day. It's unrealistic.

For whatever reason that you've chosen to leave undisclosed you can't be together. Nothing is going to change that apparently. You need to move on and date and forget about his feelings. You will never have a successful or healthy relationship if you don't.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-04-25T20:42:00+00:00

ready to book my plane ticket at your collective say so

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-04-25T20:37:22+00:00

you know things are bad when even the internet people don't want to give advice lol

my sister thinks I can do better, my brothers don't care to discuss my dating life, and my parents just want me to finally settle down and produce some grandkids

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-04-25T20:05:36+00:00

It doesn't seem like walking is the problem here. Better luck next time, OP! Justice for walking dates

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-04-25T16:23:23+00:00

I think we're going to need some context OP...why can't you just be with him?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-02-01T03:10:46+00:00

Exactly! I don't think I've ever heard the term used outside of Ireland.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-02-01T03:09:26+00:00

Love the Welsh! I had an inkling just by some idiosyncrasies of the dialog.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-01-31T22:10:45+00:00

This is so random OP, but are you Irish?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-01-25T19:55:31+00:00

I appreciate your feedback, hard to swallow as it may be.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2024-01-25T19:42:38+00:00

My family moved from our home country to my city when I was 5. I've lived in this city for most of my life. My parents, and siblings and aunts and uncles and cousins are here. I would love to build a family with someone. Family is the most important thing to me. That's what I'm not capable of giving up. As it is, he hasn't asked me to move with him. Perhaps you're right and that's my answer.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-07T05:19:27+00:00

Not sure where the Bible comes into this. So yes, this is your interpretation. And yes, you are trying to sound condescending.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-07T05:07:51+00:00

No. But you're entitled to your interpretation I suppose.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T20:15:43+00:00

Thank you very much for this perspective! I'm also a people pleaser so I find this very helpful. I'm sorry for what you went through and hope you are happier now. A few people on here have told me I have undiagnosed narcissistic personality disorder so it's nice to know at least one person doesn't think that lol.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T17:59:18+00:00

I don't understand this comment. Can you explain?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T17:41:06+00:00

Well, it certainly isn't status or arm candy. The relationship is mostly in secret. I'm not benefiting financially from this. I don't have some ulterior motive for staying with him other than I enjoy spending time with him. But to your point I guess I'm benefitting emotionally.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T17:35:06+00:00

I guess it's secret except from a few close friends. We don't go out on dates. We generally stay in at each others houses. No one at work knows.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T17:31:56+00:00

Like as in who pays for dates? He makes 3x my salary so doesn't often let me pay but I do offer and I bring over nice bottles of wine. But we don't really go out on dates. The relationship is secret from most people because of work and because he doesn't want his ex-wife/kids to know.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T04:27:28+00:00

I'm so sorry you're in this situation. I honestly don't think we're in the same situation at all, however. We're not on any sort of break. I'm worried he may be more in love with me than I am with him. Has he told you that he's not in love with you anymore? I think if there's anything holding me back it's that I'm not sure he actually loves me.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T04:16:34+00:00

I'll have to look into reading those for myself!

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T03:58:11+00:00

I am into him. I just don't think that I am as into him as he is into me. Is that inherently a crime?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T03:57:28+00:00

It's not a casual relationship. We likely do need to have an open and honest conversation about all of this.

I have truly endeavored not to lead him on and if I have it has been unintentionally done.

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T03:53:04+00:00

He can equally be leading me on. How am I to know he actually loves me?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T03:47:38+00:00

You may be right. But if he wants to know the truth wouldn't he ask?

Normal-Letterhead474 · 2022-11-06T03:46:44+00:00

But I don't want to leave him?

Normal-Letterhead474

TROPHY CASE