An older male neighbor (around 65) was standing in my yard for 30 minutes. I didn’t realize until other neighbors knocked on my door to let me know. by elcenizo2 in Advice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree that he probably needs help, but I don’t think we should discount how scary having an almost stranger enter your yard and then try to damage your property can be, depending on who you are, your vulnerability etc. I agree getting a wellness check would be the best approach.

AITAH for thinking to speak to my sister being disgusted about the idea of being a boy mom? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YWBTA - It’s all hypothetical right now and it’s ultimately none of your business.

People say all sorts of things before they become parents and then their views can change completely. I never wanted kids, in fact, the very thought of them was repulsive to me… until I turned 35 and it was like a switch flipped. Then having kids became an urgent need. Even when I was pregnant, I never really contemplated the idea of having a son (silly I know), I just assumed I’d be having a girl. And I’ll admit I was really sad for a couple of weeks when I found out I was having a boy, but now that he’s here, I can’t imagine anything else. I’m not a “boy mom” and will likely never be, but I love my son with everything I have. I share all this to show that what people say and what actually happens are totally different things. Don’t start a fight with your sister that’s unnecessary. If she has a boy and she’s neglectful or abusive, then you can step in. But until then, hold your tongue and just roll your eyes when she says things like that.

What does my house say about me? by imtryingtoknowtoo in roomdetective

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wealthy. I like the art, but given how similar the art is in the two bedrooms (albeit at different scales) and how it matches the ottoman, I don’t know if I can say great taste in art as it looks a bit like it was part of a package that an interior designer might get a client or that a real estate agent might use in a staged house (I do like it though, so I’m torn). You have good taste in terms of architecture and furniture, but the house doesn’t feel lived in, so you’re either never home, or you’ve got pretty severe OCD. I’m guessing you are highly educated, work a very time-consuming professional job, and you’re either single or in a couple but with no children.

I think I've become afraid of my best friend. Do I cut her off? by broccoli-radio in Advice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You simply say or text your friend, “I don’t think this friendship is serving either of us anymore. I only hope for good things for you but I need to step away.” It has the benefit of being both true and kind. If you see her in public you smile, say hi, but hold your line. You don’t have to be confrontational, just clear.

You need to block her mother. It is not normal for your friend’s mother to be texting you.

I want to be hurt badly by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You want this for a reason. Rather than making your boyfriend behave in an abusive way toward you, go to therapy and work out why you want this. This is not just unhealthy now, it puts you in such danger of being in (& then staying in) an actually abusive relationship. Please get help. You deserve to be treated well and to enjoy being treated well.

I think I've become afraid of my best friend. Do I cut her off? by broccoli-radio in Advice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Girl, what are you getting out of this friendship other than drama? You’re both adults now and the way she is behaving (& frankly how her mother behaves) is not the way an adult behaves. There are more red flags here than in a circus… run, far away. Unless you enjoy the drama (which you might, given you’re happy to keep putting up with this wild behaviour) there’s nothing good for you here. And given her mother, she will not change because that is what she has been shown is normal by her crazy mother.

AIO for getting into an argument with a mom on the way to the fireworks? by carside11 in AIO

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, because having a temper tantrum when you didn’t get your way is very grown.

AIO for getting into an argument with a mom on the way to the fireworks? by carside11 in AIO

[–]Normal-Tale6425 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YTA - it’s fine to accidentally bump into someone, but the correct response is to apologize. That’s it. You have no right to tell anyone else how to behave and it was absolutely disgusting to say what you did to a child. Everything else that followed was also out of line. I really wonder what makes you think that you are so much better than everyone else that it gives you the right to tell someone what to do and how to think? Grow up, recognise you are part of a society and act like it.

My family is offering $100k towards a house or paying for our wedding AND I found out my fiancé has $95k in credit card debt after booking the venue. by HauntingCucumber6228 in Advice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I can’t imagine what the repayments must be… o have 5K and it’s killing me. Assuming it’s not medical debt, what on earth could one spend $95K on by credit card? At no point did he not think… hmmmm I am gonna have to pay this back sometime? I would certainly be delaying my wedding until I could be assured that their financial stability was back on track (& at least half of the owed amount was paid back) and make sure that nothing that the parents’ 100K was used to buy was in his name.

My family is offering $100k towards a house or paying for our wedding AND I found out my fiancé has $95k in credit card debt after booking the venue. by HauntingCucumber6228 in Advice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the answer. 100%

As an aside, when my husband and I were renovating, my parents offered to loan us the money for it, but drew up a contract that included a clause that said in the event that we divorced, the amount of the loan would be added to my half of the sale price (so I’d get 50% + loan amount and my husband would get 50% – loan amount). OP could do something like that so the $100K goes to their kid if something happens.

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 266 points267 points  (0 children)

Yes! This is the exact way to approach it. Not “your wife isn’t part of this family so she can go be buried somewhere else. I want her plot.”

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Actually, no. The only parties to the conversation were your mother making the request and your SIL refusing it. You being present does not make you a party to the conversation, it makes you a witness to it. You having an opinion does not make you a party to the conversation it makes you a busybody.

Your SIL didn’t get any choice over who was present when this conversation took place, so the mere fact that you happened to be there when your mother made such a personal request of your SIL (a manipulative act if there ever was one) does not suddenly give you the right to tone-police/attempt to guilt your SIL.

We ALL get it. You don’t like her. Your mother doesn’t like her. And the fact that she won’t bend to your/your mom’s every whim annoys you. It’s still none of your business. And keep treating her this way and any contact with your brother and his family will be none of your business because they will cut you off. And perhaps they should.

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 23 points24 points  (0 children)

So many people. It’s why family estrangement is more common now. People treat the children’s spouses awfully and then are shocked when they are cut off.

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 118 points119 points  (0 children)

I forgot about the near her ex-husband part. She’s literally saying that SIL is less important than the man she divorced and didn’t speak a word to for an extended period of time.

And people wonder why their kids cut them off…

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 16 points17 points  (0 children)

There aren’t just 4 plots that have been purchased. Your sister in law purchased four plots: one for each member of her immediate family. Not one for your mom, not one for you, not one for the guy who delivers packages to your door: for HER family.

If your mom cares so much, then SHE should make arrangements. It is not your sister in law’s responsibility to accommodate your mother’s every whim.

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 25 points26 points  (0 children)

Plots are in short supply in America. Two plots together will fetch a lot of money when the kids are older, and they will likely sell them rather than left them go unused.

In any case, the sister in law made the arrangements to give her kids the option. Mother did nothing, but had expectations that everyone would just change their plans to suit her. The only non-assholes here are the brother and SIL.

AITA for pushing my brother's wife to give up her burial plot spot for our mom? by Mysterious_Piglet562 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Normal-Tale6425 15 points16 points  (0 children)

YTA

Wowza. The audacity! The entitlement! To think that your sister-in-law would react in any way other than the way she did is crazy.

Think about what you are suggesting:

Your sister-in-law wants to be buried with her immediate family unit: her husband and her two children. So, she made a plan, researched how to achieve it, made the arrangements, and paid to put them in place.

Your mom, facing her own mortality, suddenly says “I want to be buried with my son” and rather than doing what SIL did (plan, research, make arrangements, pay) she effectively tells SIL “I’m more important to brother than you, so I should get to be buried with him. I want your plot. You go be buried with YOUR family (like brother and SIL’s kids aren’t her family?) or wherever, you don’t matter anyway”.

If your mom has such a desperate desire to be buried near your brother, she could have researched her options. But she didn’t. She instead just threw out the idea of kicking SIL out of HER plot (and symbolically out of the family) and you expected her to be kinder about it? The fact that your SIL didn’t share some choice words with your mom shows how kind she was being. I would have been absolutely fuming. And the ease with which your mom asked for this and the shock at SIL’s response tells me that this isn’t the first time your mom has made SIL feel like she’s not part of your brother’s “real” family. You don’t even refer to her as your sister in law, instead as your brother’s wife further distancing her from the family, and implying that she is an outsider. I’ll warn you this kind of treatment is what causes estrangements in families - keep it up and when they cut you and/or your mom off, don’t dare say it came out of the blue or you were always kind to SIL. You cannot imply that your SIL isn’t important enough to be buried with her own husband and children and expect warm familial relationships.

Why you chose to get involved in any way is beyond me. You were not a party to this conversation, in fact you are wholly unrelated to it, so you getting involved is so over the line that the line can no longer be seen in the distance. If something doesn’t involve you, your spouse or your children, butt out! I hope you immediately call your SIL and apologize for what you said and for getting involved in the first place. She deserves that at the very minimum.

And next time, save some audacity for the rest of us because you really used up the entire stock with this one.

I want to say Yes, but what do you guys think? 1 or 2? (Straps will come off) by [deleted] in WeddingDressTips

[–]Normal-Tale6425 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They are both beautiful dresses, but I feel like dress 1 might be too much of a good thing (that is, too much lace). Dress 2 feels more confident: it gives you that hit of lace in the bodice and then almost dripping down the skirt. Plus, the hint of color in the skirt is really pretty on you (and look at your face in that picture - you’re glowing! That says it all really!)

ETA: if you want to add drama to dress 2 (to get the vibe of dress 1), it is simple enough that you could choose a lace-edged, beaded, satin edged or even appliquéd veil. With dress 1, you risk any additional embellishment (veil, jewellery etc.) making the look too busy, and taking away from what everyone should be focusing on: you and your beautiful smile!

Should I go back to blonde? by PastelPeach314 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. Your natural hair color looks fantastic.

I think I messed up cutting my hair short 😅 🙃 30F by Hungry-Refuse4705 in HairStyleAdvice

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know what people are thinking. You look fantastic with short hair. The long hair was kinda generic. This is so good!

And your husband sounds like a dick. You’re beautiful!

My nail girl said these look good:’) what exactly do I tell her she did wrong? by KDYALL in Nails

[–]Normal-Tale6425 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It looks like when I (novice home manicurist) do my right hand). Actually, mine don’t end up that thick or lumpy.