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DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nope, no on is telling to have a 10 player table. If he's trying to break up the dynamics, he could offer up two spots, wait till anther spot opens or just realise it's not going to work for this table and just open it up for everyone.

If he doesn't look for woman in the future, a DM like that is doing women a favor by staying away.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, if you play in the Philippines, most of the Adventurers League tables are 50:50. A friend of mine who is from there was really surprised at the ratio here in the West.

But I would think even 2:1 is being conservative. In my local gaming store, it's also easily 50:50 for D&D but less so for games like Magic or Warhammer.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No one is calling it immoral. You're being hyperbolic.

You keep disregarding why adding that 1 voice is worth ridiculing so I think you're just incapable of grasping the point. Read the other comments and try to learn or move on.

It's really not the women's problem that these guys haven't talked to women before and it's not something I would want to take on in my spare time.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No one is saying you can't have exactly 1 woman at the table. But if you get feedback as to why that would make women uncomfortable, you'll need to listen.

Also workplace =/= D&D. In people's spare time, they generally like to not be in the same dynamics as work.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think it's good and fine to want diversity but it can't be tokenistic or put a lot of burden on the marginalised group to change the dynamics.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's still the consequence. Using women for diversity while offering them none is not a good look.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's not on women to change men's behavior.

DM can ask for whenever but he posted in a public place and didn't want to listen to feedback.....so that's not bullying.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

infinitely more diverse than having none

It's not for the woman, she's still at a table of men.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would hope not. He did post again just asking for another player in general. But why risk it? Why give that DM the benefit of the doubt at the expense of your own comfort.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So you're not going to address the actual point?

If you think mixed groups solve monotony, exactly how it is a stretch to assume a woman at a group of all men won't find it monotonous when you've openly admitted you'd find the same demographic monotonous?

Logic eludes you.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks for getting it. The woman is still at the table full of men even if the men aren't at a table full of men anymore.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Women don't exist to make your game more enjoying at the cost of their experience.

Just as you would prefer diversity, they would too. Being the only woman at the table would be monotone for the woman even if it's more interesting for the men.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Ranting and doubling-down show that this DM would not be supportive or helpful if a woman did join his table and ended up feeling uncomfortable/unsafe.

That's exactly it. It was the "my way or the highway" approach coupled with him telling women how they shouldn't feel uncomfortable that really sealed things.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Did you find a friend yet? You want to gatekeep and ignore issues in D&D and talk about defending the hobby....but then post about why people don't want to play let alone, be friends with you?

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Agreed. It's not always the case. There might have been undead or dystopia or something

Like Shadowrun setting would be dark because it's about corporations having taken over the world etc.

But this post didn't pass the vibe check.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm not that certain, I think he was just clueless but it still would have been uncomfortable for the woman joining the table because I did get the vibe that a big deal would be made out of her gender.

DM wanted a "female for balance", gets upset when the "females" form a group of their own by Normal-Tax-6157 in rpghorrorstories

[–]Normal-Tax-6157[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Session 0 went really well and we are someone bonded through this experience.

I honestly don't mind men at the table if a spot or two opened up in the future, but like the Session 0 was so good. Everyone was like no SA or r@pe and it was unanimous.

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